1 Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John, the them: prince's brother, was a villain. Thou naughty varlet! Dogb. Write down-prince John a villain: Why this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brother-thou not suspect my years? O that he were here villain. Sexton. What heard you him say else? Con. Away! you are an ass, you are an ass. Dogb. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost to write me down-an ass!-but, masters, rememBora. Master constable, ber, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, Dogb. Pray thee, fellow, peace; I do not like yet forget not that I am an ass: — - No, thou villain, thy look, I promise thee. thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more, an officer; and, which is more, a householder: and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns, and every thing handsome about him: Bring him away. O, that I had been writ down 2 Watch. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John, for accusing the lady Hero wrongfully. Dogb. Flat burglary, as ever was committed. Sexton. What else, fellow? 1 Watch. And that count Claudio did mean upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her. an ass. [Exeunt. ACT V. Ant. If you go on thus, you will kill yourself; Leon. I pray thee, cease thy counsel, But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine. Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, But there is no such man: For, brother, men No, no 'tis all men's office to speak patience Ant. Therein do men from children nothing differ. Ant. Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself; My soul doth tell me, Hero is belied; Thou, thou dost wrong me: thou dissembler, thou:- I fear thee not. Claud. Marry, beshrew my hand, If it should give your age such cause of fear : Leon. Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me: What I have done being young, or what would do, I say, thou hast belied mine innocent child; And she lies buried with her ancestors: [Exeunt LEONATO and ANTONIO. Enter BENEDICK. D. Pedro. See, see; here comes the man we went to seek. Claud. Now, signior! what news? D. Pedro. Welcome, signior: You are almost come to part almost a fray. Claud. We had like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth. D. Pedro. Leonato and his brother: What think'st thou? Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too young for them. Bene. In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to seek you both. Claud. We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high-proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away: Wilt thou use thy wit? Bene. It is in my scabbard; shall I draw it? D. Pedro. You say not right, old man. If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man. them, yea, And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple : Leon. But, brother Antony, Come, 'tis no matter; My heart is sorry for your daughter's death; 9 Thrusting. D. Pedro. As I am an honest man, he looks pale: Art thou sick, or angry? Claud. What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. Bene. Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it against me: I pray you, choose another subject. Claud. Nay, then give him another staff; this last was broke cross. D. Pedro. By this light, he changes more and more; I think, he be angry indeed. Claud. If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. Bene. Shall I speak a word in your ear? Claud. Heaven bless me from a challenge! Bene. You are a villain; I jest not: - I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare:- Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you: Let me hear from you. Claud. Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer. D. Pedro. What, a feast? a feast? Claud. I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's head and a capon; the which if I do not carve most curiously, say, my knife's naught. -Shall I not find a woodcock too? Bene. Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily. D. Pedro, I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day: I said, thou hadst a fine wit: True, says she, a fine little one: No, said I, a great wit; Right, says she, a great gross one : Nay, said I, a good wit; Just, said she, it hurts nobody: Nay, said I, the gentleman is wise; Certain, said she, a wise gentleman: Nay, said I, he hath the tongues; That I believe, said she, for he swore a thing to me on Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning; there's a double tongue; there's two tongues. Thus did she, an hour together, trans-shape thy par Bene. Fare you well, boy; you know my mind; I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which hurt not. - My lord, for your many courtesies, thank you: I must discontinue your company : your brother, the bastard, is fled from Messina: you have, among you, killed a sweet and innocent lady: For my lord lack-beard, there, he and I shall meet; and till then, peace be with him. [Erit BENEDICK. D. Pedro. He is in earnest. Claud. In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice. D. Pedro. And hath challenged thee. D. Pedro. What a pretty thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hose, and leaves off his wit! Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO. Claud. He is then a giant to an ape: but then is an ape a doctor to such a man. D. Pedro. But, soft you, let be; pluck up, my heart, and be sad! Did he not say, my brother was fled? Dogb. Come, you, sir; if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance : nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. D. Pedro. How now, two of my brother's men bound! Borachio, one! Claud. Hearken after their offence, my lord! D. Pedro. Officers, what offence have these men done? Dogb. Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. D. Pedro. First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge? Claud. Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by my troth, there's one meaning well suited. D. Pedro. Whom have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood: What's your offence? Bora. Sweet prince, let me go no further to mine answer; do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have deceived even your very eyes; what your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light; who, in the night, overheard me confessing to this man, how don John your brother incensed me to slander the lady Hero: how you were brought into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garment; how you disgraced her, when you should marry her: my villainy they have upon record; which I had rather seal with my death, than repeat over to my shame: the lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain. D. Pedro. Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? Claud. I have drunk poison, whiles he utter'd it. D. Pedro. But did my brother set thee on to this? Bora. Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it. D. Pedro. He is compos'd and fram'd of treachery: And fled he is upon this villainy. Claud. Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear In the rare semblance that I loved it first. Dogb. Come, bring away the plaintiffs; by this time our sexton hath reformed signior Leonato of the matter: And, masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass. Verg. Here, here comes master signior Leonato, and the sexton too. Re-enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, with the Sexton. Leon. Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes; That when I note another man like him, I may avoid him: Which of these is he? Bora. If you would know your wronger, look on me. Leon. Art thou the slave, that with thy breath hast kill'd Mine innocent child? Bora. Yea, even I alone. I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death; Claud. I know not how to pray your patience, D. Pedro. By my soul, nor I; Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter live, Claud. O, noble sir, Your over-kindness doth wring tears from me! I do embrace your offer; and dispose For henceforth of poor Claudio. 3 Acquaint. Leon. To-morrow then I will expect your coming; To-night I take my leave. This naughty man Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, Who, I believe, was pack'd Hir'd to it by your brother. in all this wrong, Bora. No, by my soul, she was not; Nor knew not what she did, when she spoke to me; But always hath been just and virtuous, In any thing that I do know by her. Dogb. Moreover, sir, (which, indeed, is not under white and black,) this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment: And also the watch heard them talk of one Deformed: they say, he wears a key in his ear, and a lock hanging by it; and borrows money; the which he hath used so long, and never paid, that now men grow hard-hearted, and will lend nothing: Pray you, examine him upon that point. Leon. I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. Dogb. Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth. Leon. There's for thy pains. Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee. Dogb. I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which, I beseech your worship, to correct yourself, for the example of others. I wish your worship well I humbly give you leave to depart. Come, neighbour. [Exeunt DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Watch. Leon. Until to morrow-morning, lords, farewell. Ant. Farewell, my lords; we look for you to morrow. D. Pedro. We will not fail. Claud. To-night I'll mourn with Hero. [Exeunt Don PEDRO and CLAUDIO. Leon. Bring you these fellows on; we'll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd5 fellow. [Exeunt. I mean, in singing: but in loving. Leander the good swimmer, Troilus the first employer of pandars, and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self, in love: Marry, I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried; I can find out no rhyme to lady but baby, an innocent rhyme; for scorn, horn, a hard rhyme; for school, fool, a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings: No, I was not born under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms. Enter BEATRICE. Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee? Beat. Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me. Bene. O, stay but till then! Beat. Then, is spoken; fare you well now : — and yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came for, which is, with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio. Bene. Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee. Beat. Foul words are but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed. Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is thy wit: But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge; and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me? Beat. For them altogether; which maintained so politick a state of evil, that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? Bene. Suffer love; a good epithet! I do suffer love, indeed, for I love thee against my will. Beat. In spite of your heart, I think; alas! poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates. Bene. Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. Beat. It appears not in this confession: there's not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself. Bene. An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good neighbours: if a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings, and the widow weeps. Beat. And how long is that, think you? Urs. Madam, you must come to your uncle; yonder's old coil 6 at home: it is proved, my lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the prince and Claudio mightily abused; and don John is the author of all, who is fled and gone: will you come presently? Beat. Will you go hear this news, signior? Bene. I will live in thy heart, be buried in thy eyes, and will go with thee to thy uncle's. [Exeunt. The Inside of a Church. Claudio, and Attendants, with musick and tapers. SCENE III. Enter Don PEDRO, Claud. Is this the monument of Leonato? • Stir. Claud. Now, unto thy bones good night! Yearly will I do this rite. Leon. That eye my daughter lent her: 'Tis most true, Bene. And I do with an eye of love requite her. Leon. The sight whereof, I think, you had from me, From Claudio and the prince; But what's your will? Enter Don PEDRO and CLAUDIO, with Attendants. We here attend you; are you yet determin'd ready. D. Pedro. Good morrow, Benedick: Why, what's the matter, D. Pedro. Good morrow, masters; put your That you have such a February face, torches out: The wolves have prey'd; and look, the gentle day, Before the wheels of Phoebus, round about Dapples the drowsy east with spots of grey: Thanks to you all, and leave us; fare you well. Claud. Good morrow, masters; each his several way; D. Pedro. Come, let us hence, and put on other weeds; And then to Leonato's we will go. Claud. And, Hymen, now with luckier issue speeds, Than this, for whom we render'd up this woe! [Exeunt. SCENE IV. Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, BENEDICK, BEATRICE, URSULA, Friar, and HERO. A Room in Leonato's House. Friar. Did I not tell you she was innocent? Leon. So are the prince and Claudio, who accus'd her, Upon the error that you heard debated: Ant. Well, I am glad that all things sort so well. So full of frost, of storm, and cloudiness? Claud. I think, he thinks upon the savage bull: Tush, fear not, man, we'll tip thy horns with gold. Re-enter ANTONIO, with the Ladies masked. For this I owe you: here come other reckonings. Which is the lady I must seize upon? Ant. This same is she, and I do give you her. Claud. Why, then she's mine: Sweet, let me see your face. Leon. No, that you shall not, till you take her hand, Before this friar, and swear to marry her. Claud. Give me your hand before this holy friar; I am your husband, if you like of me. Hero. And when I lived, I was your other wife : Nothing certainer : D. Pedro. The former Hero! Hero that is dead. Leon. She died, my lord, but whiles her slander lived. Friar. All this amazement can I qualify; When, after that the holy rites are ended, I'll tell you largely of fair Hero's death: Mean time, let wonder seem familiar, And to the chapel let us presently. Bene. Soft and fair, friar. - Which is Beatrice? Beat. I answer to that name; [Unmasking.] What is your will? Bene. Do not you love me? Beat. No, no more than reason. Bene. Why, then your uncle, and the prince, and Claudio, |