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May all your joys in her prove false, like mine!
A sterile fortune, and a barren bed,

Attend you both! continual discord make

Your days and nights bitter and grievous! still
May the hard hand of a vexatious need
Oppress and grind you; till, at last, you find
The curse of disobedience all your portion!

Jaf. Half of your curse you have bestowed in vain ;
Heaven has already crowned our outcast lot
With a young boy, sweet as his mother's beauty.
May he live to prove more gentle than his grandsire,
And happier than his father!

Pri. Rather live

To bait thee for his bread, and din your ears

With hungry cries; whilst his unhappy mother
Sits down and weeps in bitterness of want!
Jaf. You talk as if 't would please you.

Pri. 'T would, by Heaven!

Jaf. Would I were in my grave!

Pri. And she, too, with thee!

For, living here, you 're but my cursed remembrancers I was once happy!

Jaf. You use me thus, because you know my soul
Is fond of Belvidera. You perceive

My life feeds on her, therefore thus you treat me.
Were I that thief, the doer of such wrongs

As you upbraid me with, what hinders me

But I might send her back to you with contumely,
And court my fortune where she would be kinder?
Pri. You dare not do 't!

Jaf. Indeed, my Lord, I dare not.

My heart, that awes me, is too much my master.

Three years are past, since first our vows were plighted, During which time, the world must bear me witness, I've treated Belvidera as your daughter,

The daughter of a Senator of Venice;

Distinction, place, attendance, and observance,

Due to her birth, she always has commanded.

Out of my little fortune I've done this;

Because (though hopeless e'er to win your nature)
The world might see I loved her for herself,

Not as the heiress of the great Priuli.

Pri. No more!

Jaf. Yes, all, and then adieu forever.

There's not a wretch that lives on common charity
But 's happier than I; for I have known
The luscious sweets of plenty; every night
Have slept with soft content about my head,

And never waked but to a joyful morning;

Yet now must fall, like a full ear of corn,

Whose blossom 'scaped, yet 's withered in the ripening!

Pri. Home, and be humble!

Study to retrench;

Discharge the lazy vermin in thy hall,

Those pageants of thy folly;

Reduce the glittering trappings of thy wife

To humble weeds, fit for thy little state;
Then to some suburb cottage both retire;

Drudge to feed loathsome life! Hence, hence, and starve!
Home, home, I say!

39. NOTHING IN IT.-Charles Mathews.

Leech. But you don't laugh, Coldstream! Come, man, be amused, for once in your life! -you don't laugh.

Sir Charles. O, yes, I do. You mistake; I laughed twice, distinctly, only, the fact is, I am bored to death!

Leech. Bored?

What! after such a feast as that you have given I'm inspired! I'm a King at this moment, and all the world is at my feet!

us? Look at me,

Sir C. My dear Leech, you began life late. You are a young fellow, forty-five, and have the world yet before you. I started at thirteen, lived quick, and exhausted the whole round of pleasure before I was thirty. I've tried everything, heard everything, done everything, know everything; and here I am, a man of thirty-three, literally used up-completely blasé !

Leech. Nonsense, man!-used up, indeed!—with your wealth, with your twenty estates in the sunniest spots in England, - not to mention that Utopia, within four walls, in the Rue de Provence, in Paris.

Sir C. I'm dead with ennui!
Leech. Ennui poor Croesus!

Sir C. Croesus!

no, I'm no Croesus! My father,

his portrait, good old fellow!

you 've seen he certainly did leave me a little mat

ter of twelve thousand pounds a year; but, after all

Leech. O, come!

Sir C. O, I don't complain of it.

Leech. I should think not.

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Sir C. O, no; there are some people who can manage to do on

less,

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on credit.

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- there's nothing in it.

Leech. Nothing in all Europe?

Sir C. Nothing!-O, dear, yes! I remember, at one time, I did, somehow, go about a good deal.

Leech. You should go to Switzerland.

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Sir C. I have been. Nothing there, people say so much about everything. There certainly were a few glaciers, some monks, and large dogs, and thick ankles, and bad wine, and Mont Blanc; yes, and there was ice on the top, too; but I prefer the ice at Gunter's, — less trouble, and more in it.

Leech. Then, if Switzerland would n't do, I'd try Italy.
Sir C. My dear Leech, I've tried it over and over again,

what then?

Leech. Did not Rome inspire you ?

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and

Sir C. O, believe me, Tom, a most horrible hole! People talk so much about these things. There's the Coloseum, now; round, very round, - a goodish ruin enough; but I was disappointed with it. Capitol, tolerable high; and St. Peter's,― marble, and mosaics, and fountains, dome certainly not badly scooped; but there was nothing in it.

Leech. Come, Coldstream, you must admit we have nothing like St. Peter's in London.

Sir C. No, because we don't want it; but, if we wanted such a thing, of course we should have it. A dozen gentlemen meet, pass resolutions, institute, and in twelve months it would be run up; nay, if that were all, we 'd buy St. Peter's itself, and have it sent over. Leech. Ha, ha! well said, you're quite right. What say you to beautiful Naples?

Sir C. Not bad,

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excellent water-melons, and goodish opera; a horrid bore! It smoked a good deal, saw the crater

they took me up Vesuvius,

certainly, but altogether a wretched mountain; looked down, but there was nothing in it.

Leech. But the bay?

Sir C. Inferior to Dublin !

Leech. The Campagna ?

Sir C. A swamp!

Leech. Greece?

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Leech. The Pyramids ?

Sir C. Humbugs! nothing in any of them!

You bore me. Is

it possible that you cannot invent something that would make my

blood boil in my veins,

pulse rise;

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my hair stand on end, my heart beat, my

that would produce an excitement — an emotion- -a sen

sation -a palpitation-but, no!

Leech. I've an idea!

Sir C. You? What is it?

Leech. Marry!

Sir C. Hum! - well, not bad. There's novelty about the notion; it never did strike me to- O, but, no: I should be bored with the exertion of choosing. If a wife, now, could be had like a dinner-for ordering.

Leech. She can, by you. Take the first woman that comes: on my life, she 'll not refuse twelve thousand pounds a year.

Sir C. Come, I don't dislike the project; I almost feel something like a sensation coming. I have n't felt so excited for some time; it's a novel enjoyment-a surprise! I'll try it.

40. MOSES AT THE FAIR.-J. S. Coyne.

Jenkinson, having thrown aside his disguise as a quack doctor, enters with a box under his arm, encounters Moses, and sets down his box.

One

Jenkinson. A wonderful man! A wonderful man! Moses. Ah, a patient of that impudent quack doctor. Jen. Quack doctor, Sir? Would there were more such! draught of his aqua soliginus has cured me of a sweating sickness, that was on me now these six years; and carried a large imposthume off my throat, that scarce let me eat, drink or sleep, except in an upright posture, and now it has gone as clean, saving your presence, as [picks his pocket] - that, Sir! O, a wonderful man! I came here, at full length, in a cart; but I shall ride back as upright as a gate-post, if I can but come by a horse.

Moses [aside]. A customer for the colt; he seems a simple fellow. I have a horse to sell, Sir.

Jen. O! I warrant me you are one of those cozening horse-jockeys that take in poor honest folk. I know no more of horses than you do of Greek.

Moses. Nay-[aside] — but I must appear simple. I assure you, Sir, that you need not fear being cozened by me. I have a good stout colt for sale, that has been worked in the plough these two years; you can but step aside and look at him.

Jen. Well, as for that, I don't care if I do; but, bless me! I was forgetting my wares. [Takes up his box.

Moses. What have you there?

Jen. [mysteriously]. Ah! that's a secret. They're my wares. There's a good twelve pounds' worth under the lid of that box. But you'll not talk about it, or I might be robbed; the fair 's full of rogues; perhaps you 're one of 'em,-you look mighty sharp!

Moses. Nay, my good man, I am as honest as thyself; [aside] though perhaps not quite such a simpleton!

Jen. Well, I don't care if I do look at thy horse; [aside]and you may say good-by to him. - But you 're sure he's quiet to

ride and drive?

Moses. I've driven him myself, and I am not one that driveth furiously; and you may believe he 's quiet to ride, when I tell you he 's carried my mother, an old lady, and never thrown her. [Aside.] It 's

true, she tumbled off once; but that was her fault, and not the colt's.

Jen. Then, I don't care if I say a bargain. How much is it to be? I don't like paying more than ten guineas.

Moses [aside]. He's not worth half the money! You shall name your own price; [aside] and then nobody can say I cheated him. Jen. What say you to nine guineas, and the odd half-guinea for saddle and bridle?

Moses. Nay, I would not drive a hard bargain, I'm content. Jen. Stop a bit, and I'll give the money. [Pretends to search his pockets.] Eh?-O, nay, 't is t' other pocket; no, O! I'm a ruined man! I be robbed-thieves! I be robbed Moses. Robbed? This comes of carrying money. coram latrone viator," as Juvenal says. But I will lend thee enough to take thee home again. [Going to put his hand into his pocket.

"Cantabit vacuus

Jen. [prevents him]. Nay, good young man, I have friends enow in this place who will do that for me. It is the loss of the horse that vexes me. Hold!—perhaps, though I can no longer buy, you may be willing to make a barter?

Moses. Why, the practice of barter was much used among the ancients; and, indeed, the Lacedemonians had no coined money until after the time of Lycurgus, as you are aware.

Jen. No-I can't say I know the family. But will you exchange your horse against my wares? There's a good twelve pounds' worth of 'em.

Moses. What are they? Deprome- that is, bring them forth. Jen. [opens his box]. A gross of green spectacles, fine pebbles and silver rims. [Taking a pair out of case. [Taking a pair.

Moses. A gross of green spectacles.
Jen. A dozen dozen.

Moses. Let's see; [aside, calculates] - twelve times twelve is— and twenty-one's into go yes, a capital bargain! - I accept; you take the colt, and I'll take the spectacles. [Offering to take the box. Jen. Nay, nay! I'll give you the box when you 've given me the colt;

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so, come!

Moses. A gross of green spectacles! Huzza! [Aside.] I'll retail them for twice the money. "Nocte pluit totà redeunt spectacula mane "There come back spectacles many." Ha, ha! the silly fellow! Well, it's not my fault, he will cheat himself, — ha, ha! O, Moses is a simpleton, is he? Moses can't make a bargain, can't he?

[Exit.

Jen. Of all the green spectacles I ever sold, I must say you 're the greenest.

41. VAN DEN BOSCH AND VAN ARTEVELDE.

Henry Taylor.

Artevelde. This is a mighty matter, Van den Bosch,

And much to be revolved ere it be answered.

Van den Bosch. The people shall elect thee with one voice.

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