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The Misfortune of getting an Office.

BY CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS KWILL, ESQ.

It was in the spring of the year, but what precise year it matters not much, that business-no, not business, rather necessity, led me to New-York, that Golgotha of brick and mortar — that receptacle of every vice in its most concentrated form that hiding hole of suffering and enduring patience in their holiest impersonations, and the home of as much noble-hearted virtue as you will be apt to meet in any other part of the world, if you can only happen to find it out.

easily be conceived, neither solitary nor alone. There were plenty besides me, who were "idle in the market,"

and whose ingenuity, like mine, was exerted considerably to get rid, with as little tedium as possible, of the better part of the four and twenty hours. Many of these crossed my path at repeated, though distant intervals, haggard in face and seedy in coat, without leaving much impression behind, and perhaps with but little thought of what trials either they or those depending on them, were undergoing in their desperate for

tunes.

There was one man, however, to whom my attention was directed, not indeed by any design of mine or of others, but rather casually by circumstances which trivial separately, by their repetition and agglomeration made at last an impression on my mind as drops of water make indentations in rocks, not by force, but by constant dripping. He was advanced in years, of middle size, thin of visage, and grey of hair, but of a frame originally wiry and well set, though now stooping and diminished in elasticity. There was nothing peculiar in all this; but once or twice I caught his eye, and there was in this feature a softness, I should add a benevolence, which contrasted strongly with the hard angularity of the rest of his features and form, and caused an impression in his favor which, perhaps, might not otherwise have been produced.

I remember not now whether it was this which first created an interest towards him in my mind. Possibly it was the observation which I made whilst watching him now and again, examining, like myself, the papers of the day. He too dwelt, not exclusively however, but protractedly, over those columns containing the advertisements of merchants and others in want of clerks !

At this period I was burthened, I may now confess, with much less money than wit-with more leisure than luck, and with every opportunity that "nothing in particular to do" could afford to enable me to become acquainted with all that was worth seeing and studying in the city. There was not, accordingly, a public square from the Battery to Union place that was not familiar with me and my shadow. I was a steady attendant "at Court," for at the City Hall they had convenient benches on which the weary could be at rest; dropped in occasionally to witness the doings in the Egyptian Tombs, not, however, as a sufferer but as a connoisseur, to examine the bumps on the cranium of the loafers from the Five Points; was punctual at the windows of the different print shops on every Monday morning, to inspect the latest "plates," native and imported. My criticisms on the political caricatures, which were spread before "the admiring public" at the several corners in Wall-street, were never wanting to guide the judgment and correct the taste of those who, like myself, came to look but not to purchase, and whom I occasionally had the kindness to assist to a knowledge of the features of the various characters of the day, whose eminent actions entitled them to a place on the blind brick wall to which they were affixed. Being a literary character in those days, I lounged through the several libraries, skimmed my eye over the latest periodicals, was familiar with the leading article in every review, and the best story in every monthly poetry I never read, and gave my opinion so decisively on their merits that I began to be looked upon as one of the stars of the literary firmament, and men significantly pointed at me with the thumb over the shoulder. There was one spot, however, that I never failed to visit every morning and every afternoon of the week, whatever aspect the weather wore. This was the public news-room, not with the view, I must say, to know what dust the politicians were kicking up at Washington-who was to be the next inmate of the White House-which ticket was to prevail in the fall, or who should be the next Mayor- my researches were of a It was in the course of one of these excursions - not more humble nature; they were confined to the adver- however in search of the picturesque - but hunting tisments, limited to the column of "wants," for I was after "the one thing needful," that a heavy shower arin "want" of employment, and one of the thousand rested our steps as we were leaving a building where and one "availables" for any office in the gift of any-"business" happened to call us both. An interchange body, from an Ambassadorship to Russia, where nothing of remarks usual on such occasions, followed. Some is to be done but to receive the outfit and salary, down conversation ensued, and as it was the hour for dinner, to a clerkship for which "the applicant is in every re- I proposed adjourning, now that the rain had ceased, to spect qualified, writes a good hand, has no objection to a neighboring eating-house, where we should dine togo into the country, and to make himself generally gether. We became acquaintances from that dayfriends some time fte", and I now look back to those

useful."

The fact spoke volumes and in trumpet tones. He was, like myself, also in search of employment - but alas! with what long odds against him. He, in that stage of life when he was entitled from the past to some settled provision for the future; I, in the start, fresh for the race, and if not crowned with success, at least not crushed by disappointment; he, perhaps, with wife and children anxiously watching for his success; I, the bright "world all before me where to choose."

Suspicions like these sharpened observation, and in my walks, hurried hither and thither, according as my expectations or the advice of friends suggested, I could not fail to meet this gentleman-for in manners at least he appeared entitled to that appellation—especially as similarity in our pursuits often led him to those places whither I also proceeded on a like errand.

In my various peregrinations and visits, I was, it may times with feelings of melancholy interest, for they are

home.

full of philosophy and wisdom to be found neither in I had nothing for it but to take his arm and return books, in colleges nor in academies, nor in any school that I know of except in that huge "Normal School”— the world.

It is not my design to detail here all that occurred whilst serving out my time as "a waiter on providence," nor do I intend to describe the perfection to which I had arrived in climbing to back offices three pair of stairs up, or in diving down into basements and cellars where the shaver and harpies of the money market "most do congregate," nor how often I was on the eve of being provided for, and how much oftener I was disappointed: all this would tire both myself and the reader, and serve no useful purpose.

At the end of a long and weary day, during which I had exerted myself more than common in endeavoring to procure something to do, I crept, fatigued in body, dejected in mind, exhausted in patience and sick at heart, down to the Battery, to recover my exhausted spirits, in contemplating the beautiful picture which Nature, in the fullness of her generosity, preserves there for the poorest and humblest, as well as for the richest and proudest of her children.

Over the Staten Island hills the sun was sinking in all its splendor and majesty, lending sky and water alike a robe of mingled colors, like the rich tints that play upon changeable silk. The evening breeze rippled the broad surface af the bay, just enough to fill every part of the scene with life. The pennants of a noble manof-war anchored off Governor's Island fluttered gently; a hay-sloop, heavily laden, with its huge mainsail at its side, came bending along; a "Sound" schooner was gliding past, bound probably for "Dutchess" and a market, whilst here and there danced a tiny boat, the measured-stroke of whose oars dropped on the ear from the distance, with measured chime and soothing sound. In my moodiest hours, in my darkest moments, there has been always something in the green hues which cover mother earth, in the forest foilage, in the clear deep and winding waters of our own American rivers, in our cloudless skies, in the golden hues of our setting sun, yea, in every appearance of Nature, whether manifested in the sublimity of our mountains or in the quiet repose of our vallies, which could chase away despondency and light up hope within my heart. Such an effect had the landscape now before me. I forgot all the cares of the day, and trusting again to what tomorrow might bring forth, lighted a cigar, whiffed away all trouble with the light wreaths of smoke which curled from my lip, and dropped into a revery, during the continuance of which, I dare say, more castles were built than were ever stormed by the renowned Amandis of Gaul or sacked by the Seven Champions of Christendom.

I had a friend in Washington who was so kind as to feel an interest in my behalf, and who proposed obtaining some minor office for me there, in the event that I should fail to find employment in New-York, and from this gentleman a letter awaited me on my return to my lodgings. I opened and read it. 'Twas not of much moment-filled with promises and all that sort of thing, so characteristic of Washington letters. Without saying a word, I passed it to my companion for perusal. That eye, the benevolence of which I had already so often remarked, was at once fixed on me with an expression of much feeling and sympathy, and a sigh broke unexpectedly from him, for it seemed to me then that this trivial circumstance had touched a chord within him which had not of late been disturbed. Struck by such a singular occurrence I hesitated not to enquire its cause.

"Put an end to that correspondence, my dear sir," he replied, "trust not to these Washington letters, nor to these Washington friends, for their promises and professions will terminate, even if realized, in wasted time, mocked hopes, and blighted happiness."

I was amazed. Could this man too have travelled that road on which I was about to enter, unconsciously to myself? Could he have been an office seeker? Could he have danced attendance at the White House, lobbied in the Capitol, and played lacquey to members of Congress? He saw my enquiries in my eyes, for I spoke no word.

66

"Aye!" he answered, "I have been over the whole ground. There is not an avenue in Washington that I am not familiar with; not a waiter at Gadsby's that does not know me; have lobbied with Senators; chatted with Presidents; hunted for office and obtained office, and from that success date all my misfortunes." I could not believe my senses, but without noticing my embarassment he proceeded :—

"I started in life with prospects as fair as any one, not perfectly independent could desire; a fair character, untiring industry, unwearied energy, popular manners, and good appearance. The section of the country in which I was reared was pretty well stocked with young men, so one morning, I asked my father for a few dollars-he could not spare me many-and his blessing, and started for one of the Western States, to drive my fortune-to make a spoon or spoil a horn,' as the saying is.

"I was not long in my new location when I obtained employment, which, however, for the first year or two enabled me to do no more than to make both ends meet. I added however, day by day, to the number of my acquaintances, attended town meetings, was active in offering motions, writing resolutions, and without being too forward, made myself as useful as I could in the management of public business and in the discussion of public affairs, to which by my education I was every way qualified.

In the midst of these waking dreams some person came and sat on the bench beside me. I awoke. It was my friend to whom I had the honor of being introduced by the shower of rain. We were in a moment deep in conversation, he rallying me on my absence of mind, for it seems he stood for some time near me before he "I was soon noticed. An old lawyer took me by the sat down. But for this I was not prepared. I turned hand, and under him I qualified myself to practice again to the landscape, but it was all gone. Evening at the different courts in our neighborhood, and became had closed around me whilst dreaming my dream, and by degrees what is called an active politician.

"Questions of local interest which excited consider- "I hurried at once to Washington, backed by every able feeling in those parts, came to be mixed up, some-recommendation that I could collect from quarters time afterwards, with political matters. You have very that I thought of influence, and provided with proper little knowledge of the subject on the seaboard. It was securities, in an evil hour obtained the office. the settlement of the public lands and squatters rights- "On my return home I found myself at once of much or as the papers called them, 'pre-emption rights.' I greater importance, than I had ever before dreamed an perceived at once with the acuteness of a politician's office holder could lie. If I was anxious, as a politician, eye, which was the popular side of the question, and to stand well with others before, especially on the eve seized it. To bring my talents to bear more effectually of an election; if I was ready to shake every man's on the public mind, I took a share in our county paper, hand, and to drink with every man who wished to wrote some strong articles in favor of the popular ca se, treat,' or wished to be treated,' I found matters now and by "stumping" and speechifying succeeded in being reversed. Every body wished to stand well with me— taken up as a candidate, and sent to the Legislature by to shake hands with me, and to ask me to drink. our party, which inscribed on its banners, Universal Freedom and Squatters Rights!'

"But there was still predominant one feeling over all. That was to render my office subservient to the interests of my 'party.' The fall elections were coming on; State officers were to be chosen; the next Legislature would have to elect a United States Senator, and it was therefore of importance that we should hold the ascendency in the State. I had to contribute my share to the expenses. Not only this. There were many political under agents who worked zealously for our side, who were in justice also to be provided for, and as the greater portion of the public moneys passed through my office, I was called on to distribute my patronage among a horde of applicants, each of whom claimed provision for himself as a right, failing the recognition of which, significant hints were thrown out that the parties would go over to the enemy, horse, foot and dragoons!' "The political morality of the day showed no impro

"I now became a leading man in our little political world; removed to the capital of the State; attended conventions for the nomination of Governor and other high officers; clung to my party through thick and thin,' and came at last, by the working of machinery and the pulling of wires, with which none but the initiated are acquainted, to be heard of at Washington. This was on the eve of an exciting presidential contest. "Endowed with considerable volubility of tongue, gifted with a certain amount of talent in making the worse appear the better reason,' backing my opinions in the manner usual to out-and out politicians, and flooding the country with stump speeches as well as with editorials, reports of meetings, and one-sided Congressional documents, through the columns of our leading paper, with which I now became connected, I suc-priety in all this. Office was to be administered, it ceeded, along with the other leading men of our side, in carrying the State for our Presidential Candidate; but I must add, at an immense draft on my own pecuniary resources, not counting at all the loss of time, neglect of business, and every other corollary attendant on such a contest, especially where parties were pretty equally balanced.

"After the battle was fought and won, and I in silence calculated my gains, I found that however well others had fared, I certainly suffered more than I could afford. Many of my clients, noticing the ardor with which I had devoted myself to politics, and imagining that they should have gained causes to which they were parties, but which they had lost, laid the blame at my doors and gave their business to others. I now reasoned that I, as one of the conquerors, was entitled to some of the spoils of the victory.

"As misfortune would have it, one of the government Agents for the public lands happened to die just at this critical time, and office' rose before my eyes in its most alluring guise. Forgetting the wholesome principle that the slow and patient efforts of industry would extricate me from my temporary embarrassments, and leave me afterwards on much firmer and much higher ground, more efficiently than the spasmodic vaultings of ambition and office seeking, I looked to the latter as the easiest and most certain means of getting rid of present difficulties. Then came the selfflattering persuasion that I should have increased means to promote the interests of my party,' of paying others for their political allegiance to me, and of more permanently securing my own power.

seemed to be tacitly understood, for the benefit of those in power, not for the promotion of the general interests of the community, and I could perceive no wrong in acting on principles which seemed to be everywhere admitted. I administered my trust, therefore, accordingly, and we continued in the ascendant. No man who made himself useful ever found me unwilling to remunerate him for his services, though as far as I was personally concerned, experience convinced me that I was no gainer by being an office holder.

"Things continued to work thus for several years, and another sharp political contest was approaching, when, as if with malice aforethought,' as the lawyers say, one or two Receivers of the public money exploded. A postmaster in some back part of Mississippi next gave way. A Louisiana treasurer followed suit, and the newspapers for a horrid length of time contained nothing but accounts of public officers turning defaulters and removing to Texas.

"With a pertinacity which nothing but the rage of party could account for, our opponents in Congress rung the changes, day after day, on these untoward events,' until at length no honest man was above suspicion. The National Administration could no longer stem the current; orders were issued at Washington for every officer responsible for the public moneys, to make up his accounts and to pay over his balances forthwith.

"One of these circulars reached me, among others. I made up my accounts as directed, but the balance was not so easily found. Election expenses, political partizans, swallowed all up, and I found myself minus so many thousand dollars that it was useless to think even

of meeting the deficit. A supersedeas soon followed the exposure of this state of affairs. The District Attorney entered prosecutions against me and my securities. Whatever property they and I had was seized, and I was thrown on the world, I may say without a friend, for those whom I had ruined myself to serve, now turned upon me in my misfortune and censured me for having brought so much ruin upon so many respectable families.

"When a man begins to fall in this world, nothing is so rapid as his motion downwards. Misfortunes seem to crowd on him by battalions. The reverses of fortune had such a shock on my poor wife, whose constitution at the best was but delicate, that she was seized with severe illness and died. One by one my little ones caught the scarlet fever, and one by one the Lord took them to himself, leaving me, like the scathed and blasted pine in the forest, without leaf or limb, capable neither of defending myself nor sheltering others from the storms which whistled round me.

"Palsied in almost every nerve, benumbed in every faculty, I wandered for a long period of time incapable of thought or action. Religion, with her hely influenences, came at last to my aid. I looked back and perceived at once the whirlwind of dissipation in which i had passed away my better years, and in which all my best energies had been swallowed up, and whilst i mourned the losses of wife, children and friends, I bowed before the rod of the CHASTENER whom, I religiously hoped, subjected me to this trying fire in order to purify and to fit me for another and a better world, where we shall no longer be troubled with the passions and vexations of this.

"I could not bear to continue among the scenes of my past pride and prosperity. I soon arranged the wreck of my affairs, and came to this living caravansera, in the hope of obtaining that trifling sufficiency which might enable me to drag out, without much suffering, the remainder of my days in obscurity, in the midst of the great crowd. I have succeeded to-day in getting employment from an old friend who knew me in better days, and who has enough of the knowledge of the world to perceive that a man may be unfortunate without being dishonest, and that many of our misfortunes proceed rather from the weaknesses than from the vices of our nature.

"You have now heard my story. You are young and beginning the world. You have the benefit of the experience of one who has succeeded in obtaining an office, but at what a price!-If you are capable of learning by the experience of others, avoid Washington and shun all correspondence with that quarter."

German National Wealth.

Translated from Hoffman Van Fallersleben.

[This is the individual who was not long since expelled from the dominions of the King of Prussia, and whose works were forbidden to be sold.}

Hurra! hurra! harra! hurra!

We're off unto America!

What shall we take to our new land?
All sorts of things from every hand!
Confederation protocolls;

Heaps of tax and budget rolls ;
A whole ship load of skins to fill
With proclamations just at will,
Or when we to the NEW WORLD Come,
The German will not feel at home.
Hurra! hurra! hurra! hurra!
We're off unto America!
What shall we take to our new land?
All sorts of things from every hand!
A brave supply of corporal's canes;
Of very suits, a hundred wains;
Cockades, gay caps to fill a house, and
Armorial buttons. a hundred thousand,
Or when we to the NEW WORID come,
The German will not feel at home.
Hurra hurra! hurra! hurra!
We're off unto America!
What shall we take fo our new land 7
All sorts of things fro every hand!
Chamberlain's keys, a pile of sacks ;
Books of full blood de cents, in packs;
Dog chains and sword chains by the ton;
Of order ribbous, bales twenty-one,
Or when to the NEW WORLD we come,
The German will not feel at home.

Hurra hurra! hurra! hurra!
We're off unto America!

What shall we take to our new land?
All sorts of things from every hand!
Scull caps, periwigs, old-world airs;
Crutches, privileges, easy chairs;
Counsellor's titles, private lists;

Nine hundred and ninety thousand chests,
Or when to the NEW WORLD we come,
The German will not feel at home.

Hurra hurra! hurra! hurra!
We're off unto America!

What shall we take to our new land?
All sorts of things from every hand!
Receipts for tax, toll. christening, wedding and funeral;
Passports and wander books, great and small;
Plenty of rules for censor's inspections,
And just three millions of police directions,
Or when to the NEW WORLD WC come,
The German will not feel at home.

An Apt Reply.-in one of the latest days of Fox, the conversation turned on the comparative wisdom of the French and English character." The Frenchman," With these words, my friend took his leave. I soon it was observed, "delights himself with the present; after retired to bed, but not to sleep. My mind was too the Englishman makes himself anxious about the future: much excited by the narrative to which I had listened. is not the Frenchman the wiser ?" "He may be the What other effect it had on me it is needless to say. I merrier," said Fox; “but did you ever hear of a savhave only to add—I never have been an office-holder. age who did not buy a mirror in preference to a telescope ?"

All attempts at originality must end either in the quaint or the monstrous. For no man knows himself We neglected in our last to state that the beautias an original; he can only believe it on the report of ful type on which the Northern Light is printed, is others to whom he is made known.— Washington Alls-from the Foundry of JAMES CONNER & Son, NewYork.

ton.

The Ideal, and the Practical.

BY S. 9. RANDALL.

The wisdom and efficiency of the means to be adopted for the accomplishment of any specific cbject, essentially depend upon our estimate of the ultimate end in view. If we deem the acquisition of wealth, of power, of fame, the exemption from physical ills and the enjoyment of ease and luxury the great aim of existence

avoiding all unnecessary collision with those who, as instruments or auxiliaries, may aid us in the accemplishment of these ulterior and paramount purposes. If on the other hand we are convinced that none of these objects constitute the destiny of humanity-that the gift of intelligent existence was bestowed upon us for higher, grander and nobler purposes-that the mental powers which successively develope themselves as we progress in life are the germs and blossoms which are destined to expand and bear fruit through the revolutions of eternity that these powers and faculties, though linked for a brief period with cur physical and animal nature, are essentially independent of and infinitely superior to it-that wealth and tempcral power and worldly fame, are fleeting, evanescent, perishable, delusive and vain-while truth, virtue, the beautiful, the ideal, the sublime-elevation of soul-disinterested benevolence-universal philanthropy--unwavering faith

-

There is always to be found in every community a class of shrewd, penetrating, sagacious, and self-complacent individuals who not only look with the utmost distrust upon all departures, under whatever pretext, the object of our being-we assuredly do well in from the established usages and customs of society, but conceive themselves bound to denounce every excursion, however apparently innocent and harmless, beyond the existing boundaries of knowledge, as impious and dangerous, or at least fanatical, absurd, and impracticable. Favored, themselves, by the world and the world's regard-having attained their ends and accomplished the height of their ambition, through the agency of means recognized and sanctioned by universal prescription-they conceive themselves entitled to point out the land-marks which enclose the arena of science, and limit the domains of philosophy and even of justifiable speculation. Prudent, cautious and reserved in all their intercourse and dealings with men-skilfully availing themselves of the passions, the prejudices and the foibles which meet them at every turn in the social thoroughfare carefully avoiding offence, and judiciously balancing probable contingencies, with an eye single to ultimate or immediate profit,—these men-and-unquestioning obedier.ce to the dictates of duty and their name is legion-speedily make their way, un- the laws of the Creator-and an earnest desire to mitiquestioned and unchallenged, to the safe retreats, and gate the sufferings, to relieve the distresses, to expand quiet harbors of worldly prosperity, wealth and station. and purify the aims of humanity-can alone fulfil the From these high places they complacently survey the high doctrines of spiritual life-we shall no longer rebusy scenes around them—and wrapping themselves in gard with contemptuous indifference, those who strive the impenetrable mantle of selfishness, utter forth their to breath a purer atmosphere than that which suroracles of practical wisdom and sternly frown upon rounds them, and “to live while in, above the world." every thoughtless or daring innova'or who presumes to The prominent lesson of CHRISTIANITY-that which question or doubt their infallibility. Each succeeding breathes in every page of the volume of revelationage adds to the number and increases the importance which constitutes its spirit and its life-giving efficacyand the power of these formidable guardians of the is the very lesson which the world has most constantly portals of worldly wisdom: and the annals of human and systematically overlocked-nay der ounced, vilified civilization and advancement are full of most impres- and contemned as impracticable, visionary, absurd. sive illustrations of the influence which they have ex- The GREAT TEACHER-He who "spake as never man erted in repressing the onward and upward movements spake "-whose word was truth-whose life was the of intellectual and moral, no less than of purely phy- highest exemplification of Ideal and Practical Beauty— sical science. The great and the good of every age recognized none of those maxims of worldly wisdom, have been compelled to encounter the unscrupulous which prompted then, as now, to the attainment, by denunciation, the fierce invective and the determined whatever means, of temporal ease, exemption from hostility of this conservative band: have been stigma- physical ills, the accumulation of wealth, the enjoytized as enthusiasts, as visionaries, as fanatics, as dis- ment of fame, the acquisition of power. All these turbers of the public weal, agitators, incendiaries, de- darling objects of human ambition, were overlooked, magogues and imposters; and have attained the accom- passed by, and unequivocally condemned. Aspirations plishment of their far-seeing and far-reaching designs for immortality, elevation and purity of thought-earonly through a series of persecutions, sufferings and nest strivings for the Good, the Beautiful and the True martyrdoms which might well appal and dishearten-accompanied by an all-comprehending-all-embracthe timid and irresolute votary of truth and knowledge. ing love of humanity, as such, and irrespective of its Nor has the world purchased wisdom in this respect by the dear bought experience of sixty centuries. The brand of impracticability is still imposed upon each adventurous spirit who presumes to contravene the established standards of belief—to depart from the established routine of thought-or to cast an earnest glance into the possible future in search of that ideal excellence which he conceives within the reach of humanity whenever it shall be aroused to put forth its energies

for its attainment.

these

trappings, and its extrinsic accompaniments
were the qualities sought out, appreciated and prized
by Him, even when concealed from the eye of the keen-
est observer under the garb of poverty, obscurity, ig-
norance and ignoble toil. How utterly impracticable—
as that term is now generally understood and received
-was the whole tenor of his life-the whole burden
the whole scope and aim of his
of his instructions
gospel! All the most attractive pursuits of humanity
- all the enjoyments and the luxuries most highly

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