Billeder på siden

☆ Or does the Man in the Moon look big,
" And wear a huger periwig ;
“ Shew in his face, or gait, more tricks

6. Than our native lunatics," are important questions, upon which the reader may possibly be satisfied in the next number, wherein we intend to introduce this extraordinary personage to his acquaintance, with the customary etiquette, Mr. Reader; Mr. Man in the Moon, Mr. Man in the Moon, Mr: Reader; after which, I believe, it is usual to be more open and communicative than any one, (acquainted with the nature of true politeness) can possibly be, even with the worthiest stranger, without being properly introduced,

The next Number promises also to be more explicit as to the qualifications and attributes of this new Critical Reviewer; and will describe, at large, the supernatural observations he is at the pains of taking aloft, to bring the true representation of objects below before him, that he may discover somewhat accurately the latitude and longitude of human actions, allowing for parallax, declination and refraction. Also, how he is able to pry so well into cabinets, and councils; to get into the inner chambers of families; how every thing is laid open to him, even the machinery of politics, the wheel within wheel, that by its movements dazzles and confounds the vulgar eye; how he can know when the work is imperfect; why it is dangerous to meddle with it; and why some, who have had the winding and regulating of the machine, should have

preferred doing it in a corner, and, as they thought,
out of sight.


As far as the Editor is at present at liberty to speak of the Man in Moon, he believes, that in his observations and opinions of the events and occurrences of the earth, he will not, on any occasion, shut his eyes to the truth; and that if he tries to see clearly into any thing, it will be only to expose vice and folly.

[ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small]

The Man in the Moon is no anarchist, for he contemplates with constant admiration the order of the universe; he is no democrat, for he is above the common sphere; and he disclaims all aristocracy, except over the presumptions of impudence and ignorance.

[merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors]

In the Man of the Moon-Merit shall find a friend -Truth an advocate-Falsehood, an inspector-general—The great no foe, but to their follies—The guilty no enemy, but to their crimes—The poor a guardian -The unhappy a counsellor.

[merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small]

Charity he has; for he himself is not immaculate.
Humanity he has; for he is but a man.



[merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors]





Wednesday, 16th Nov. 1803.

The Compiler's Account of his Birth and Parentage. The extraordinary

Visit he receives from the Man in the Moon, with the Conversation that ensued.

My father was, as fate would have it, the wellknown Editor of a certain morning print lately gone into oblivion; he was a tall thin man, of about five feet nine inches in height, with a large Roman nose, full black eyes, his face wrinkled, and pursed up into a malignant contortion of features happily expressive of chagrin and discontent, large thick lips, long black teeth, the right corner of the mouth drooping over its maxillary by the frequent action of the depressor anguli oris, with a remarkable oscillation of the head, resembling in its movements the action of a pendulum, which I rather imagine to have been the effect of intense study, though some ill-natured and censorious persons have gone so far as to alledge, that it was owing to his having, once in his life, run his head through the hole of a large wooden machine occasionally erected at Covent-garden or Charing-cross.

My mother, whose character also deserves some notice, was a little ill-favoured woman,



Hunch back'd, sharp nos'd, cross-ey'd, and lean,
The veriest vixen ever seen.

larg righ eye nal





She was vastly fond of prerogative, and was skilled in
argument. It used to be a constant maxim of

poor dear father's, “ Son Jack, never marry a woman
that understands logic.” It frequently, upon reflection,
astonishes me how my mother's system of government
was upheld, for she was both despotic and mercenary,
(though, doubtless, some great states have been sup-
ported by the same policy, if we may believe continental
news). She would impose the heaviest burthens upon
my poor father, and yet her smiles were to be bought
at any time by a new cap, or a gown. It is true, my
father sometimes rebelled, but then my mother kept
up a military force, in the person of a tall, athletic
serjeant of the guards, who lodged in the second floor.

[merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

Notwithstanding which, sometimes my father and mother were extremely fond, and I am said to be the hopeful offspring of their mutual affection.

slor tion and do e pha bach

[ocr errors]

“Suspiciones, inimicitiæ, induciæ,
Bellum, pax rursum, incerta hæc si postules."

Terent. Eunuch. Act l, Sc. l.

[ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

rent hea

I was very much distinguished, when a boy, for the rapidity with which I took my learning, and for the archness and ill nature which I evinced in


little matter of controversy among my school-fellows. My figure, owing to some cross accidents in my birth, was


[ocr errors]




somewhat extraordinary; my head was remarkably large, resembling in shape an overgrown pumpkin; my right leg was considerably longer than my left; my eyes were placed (after my mother's fashion) diagonally in my forehead, and the rest of my features were half formed, and misplaced, like my father's, so that some people, not acquainted with the beautiful and sublime, might have called me ugly. My disposition was more retrograde than the action of my legs, which made the like angles in walking as may be noticed in the pedatim of a young volunteer practising the oblique march.

So early as the age of four years I began to have les mauvaise habitudes; I quarrelled with every body at the tea table for a lump of sugar, overturned the slop bason if contradicted, and made daily depredations in my mother's private closet for raspberry jam and cherry brandy; I constantly made it a point to do exactly contrary to what I was bid, began the alphabet with the letter Z, and learnt the Lord's

prayer backwards.

I had so early a notion of liberty, that at eight years

I dislodged the bar placed by my parents at the window for my personal safety, and fell headlong into the street; and when only nine, untied a mastiff in the yard, who not being sufficiently sensible of the blessings of freedom, had very nearly, and but for the interference of his master, torn me to pieces for my intended civility.

of age

« ForrigeFortsæt »