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land. One feels a desire to call out “ bravo," and to pat the honest animal on the head.

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I cannot conceive by what species of jealousy, or narrowness of mind, the faithful Carlo was not included in the Dram. Pers. I know very well the strict etiquette among performers, as to where each, according to his rank, is to be placed in the play-bill, yet I think that the poor honest dog might have been permitted to have followed his master; certainly his merits are as great as any other performer, he plays true to nature, catches genuine applause, makes no long unjust pauses before he makes his leap to prepossess the audience with what he is going to do, and trusts to nature alone for success. Certainly the dog might afford some lessons of good acting to the performers of the present day

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SIR, « HAVING felt the inconvenience of being addicted in conversation to the use of any favourite or particular expression, I take this opportunity of warning others from the same practice, and to request your advice how I myself may avoid it in future. My obnoxious phrase is" if in case~;" and my friends tell me, that I cannot express two ideas together without introducing it to their great annoyance, I have been in the constant use of this sentence from


school days;

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and though I could never yet discover any mischief it has done to others, I feel very sensibly, to this moment, its effects on myself; for I had once a whimsical old uncle, with whom, in other respects, I was a favourite, but to whom the use of my favourite phrase was so disagreeable, that he promised to make me his sole heir, if in case I would leave it off. For some time before his death I succeeded to my wishes, and believe I did not use it in his hearing for the last six months of his life, till the day before his death; when I most unfortunately stumbled on my old habit again, by informing him how great would be my grief if in case he should die, The old man was as good as his word. He immediately sent for his lawyer, and altered his will in favour of my younger brother, who, he was sure, would never offend the world by the use of that, or any other particular phrase, being both deaf and dumb. Such is my fate; and if in case you can make use of it in your lectures for the benefit of any fellow sinner in this particular, you are welcome to do it,

“ I am, &c.

« T. D."

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I cannot but think my correspondent was too se. verely punished for his little failing, and take his word for the singularity of his uncle's character: yet as our passing with the world depends on the aggregate of a thousand little things, I beg leave to caution my readers against a similar practice. I once knew a man whose favourite word was probably"; and he, like my correspondent T. D. could not express two ideas together without making use of it, Indeed it came so

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readily on his tongue, that nothing had been certain
with him in speech for ten years past; but to the
clearest truth, or the inference of the most correct
syllogism, he would only observeprobably it may be

Another could not, for four years of my ac-
quaintance with him, make a reply to a trifling obser-
vation without dividing it into firstly, secondly, and
thirdly; nor prove a common truth without giving
three or four distinct reasons for it. He, however,
was cured by discovering it inconvenient to be obliged
to say so much on every subject, and that in the na-
ture of things, every truth would not admit of four
reasons in proof of it. A third person, I remember,
who could talk of nothing but what was infinitely
superior." to something else, and never discovered the
absurdity of it, till he saw a whole company convulsed
with laughter at his gravely asserting, that a stool with
four legs was infinitely superior to one with three,
when all the world besides would as lief sit on one as
the other. With respect to my advice on this subject,
I fear that he whom the danger of being disinherited
could not reform, is indeed incorrigible; but at the
same time beg to remark, that there is hardly any ha-
bit so fixed, but caution may prevent and persever-
ance at length overcome it. There is another class of
characters who may not unaptly be also noticed here,
but whose failings are not quite so excuseable or inno-
cent as that mentioned above. They are such as
fancy themselves gifted with superior excellence in
certain particulars, in which, in fact, they are really
deficient; and accordingly are for ever displaying their
fancied excellencies, without perceiving that the world


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is not inclined to give them the suffrages they demand. Leonilla has lately discovered herself to be a great favourite of the Muses, and is all the morning long stringing together a set of verses which she repeats to her friends in the evening; nor can Leonilla discover that the good-natured laugh, and that the less indulgent are displeased at her vanity, whilst the learned think her verses too contemptible for their criticisms. Loquacious tires us with long and stupid harangues on every thing he touches, because he thinks he talks well; and Corvus grates the ears of every company into which he enters, by what he terms singing; whilst Tragicus puts them asleep by reciting parts of plays without action, expression, or character. Orsin, who is a stiff formal man, of about fifty years of age, prides himself on the dignity of his carriage, and the peculiar ease and gracefulness of his manners; and never fails to introduce himself with a multitude of strange motions and distortions of body, which give us only the idea of a bear affecting the airs of a dancing master. Myrtilla is as vain of her dark complexion, because she has somewhere heard of the pretty brunettes of France, as her friend Laura is of a very prominent feature, far exceeding the line of beauty, because she has heard a certain great lady admired for her aquiline

But the most remarkable instance of the kind which has lately come under my notice, is Stentor, a gay man, whom nature has furnished with a loud untimable voice; but who fancies himself gifted with extraordinary abilities in reading the church service, and never yet heard it delivered without shaking his head and wishing himself a parson. He accordingly takes


frequent occasions to give his friends specimens of his talent that way, and has been known in the midst of a convivial meeting to repeat one of the penitential prayers, and at the christening of his last child read the burial service aloud, to the great improvement of the parson, and the edification of the company.

I lately paid him a visit with a friend, but was surprised at the sudden and abrupt manner in which my companion hurried me away, till he informed me that he had been frightened by a prayer-book which lay on a table in one corner of the room. Such characters as these will never be reformed whilst they can find themselves listened to with politeness, and looked on with complacency. They never doubt of their own merit, but conclude it to be envy or want of taste in others, which has so long deprived them of universal admiration. In order, therefore, to cut up the root of this evil at once, and for the relief of his Majesty's peaceable subjects, I do hereby direct and ordain, that from henceforth it shall and may be lawful for any person to be inattentive to all such talkers, readers, singers, and reciters, and even fall asleep in their company if possible; and also to turn away from all such as are evidently attempting to exhibit themselves, without its being considered any breach of good manners, and without any charge of unpoliteness to be hereafter brought against him for the same.


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