That sparkle in the Lustre's ray, O'er the white path shall bound and play Like Nymphs along the Milky Way! At every step a star is fled, And suns grow dim beneath their tread! Nor need'st thou mourn the transient date But, bless my soul! I've scarce a leaf This festive Fête, in fact, will be The same bright river 'mongst the dishes, Fish of that specie now-a-days), Some sprats have been, by Y-RM-TH's wish, Promoted into Silver Fish, And Gudgeons (so V-NS-TT-T told Hearts are not flint, yet flints are rent, After all, however, Mr Sc-tt may well say to the Colonel (and, indeed, to much better wags than the Colonel), pzov posperoÛzi ἡ μιμείσθαι. * « C―rl-t―n He will exhibit a complete fac-simile, in respect to interior ornament, to what it did at the last Fète. The same splendid draperies,» etc.—Morning Post. The salt-cellars on the P-E's own table were in the form of an Ass with panniers. APPENDIX. LETTER IV, Page 130. AMONG the papers inclosed in Dr DG-x-6) Letter, there is an Heroic Epistle in Latin verse, from POPE JOAN to her Lover, of which, as it is rather a cur ous document, I shall venture to give some account This female Pontiff was a native of England (or, acording to others, of Germany), who, at an early age, disguised herself in male attire, and followed her lover. a young ecclesiastic, to Athens, where she studied with such effect, that upon her arrival at Rome she ws thought worthy of being raised to the Pontificate This Epistle is addressed to her Lover (whom she had elevated to the dignity of Cardinal), soon after the fatal accouchement, by which her Fallibility was betrayed. She begins by reminding him very tenderly of the time when they were in Athens-when «By Ilissus' stream We whispering walk'd along, and learn'd to speak Still less (she continues to say) could they have foreseen, that such a catastrophe as had happened in Council would befal them-that she «Should thus surprise the Conclave's grave decorum And let a little Pope pop out before 'emPope Innocent! alas, the only one That name should ever have been fix'd upon! She then very pathetically laments the downfal of her greatness, and enumerates the various treasures to which she is doom'd to bid farewell for ever. << But oh! more dear, more precious ten times over— Farewell, my Lord, my Cardinal, my Lover! I made thee Cardinal-thou madest me-ah! I have not time now to translate any more of this Epistle; but I presume the argument which the Right Hon. Doctor and his friends mean to deduce from it, is (in their usual convincing strain) that Romanists must be unworthy of Emancipation now, because they had a Petticoat Pope in the Ninth Century-Nothing can The more logically clear, and I find that Horace had exactly the same views upon the subject: Romanus (eheu posteri, negabitis!) Emancipatus FORMINE Fert vallum! Spanheim attributes the unanimity with which Joan was elected, to that innate and irresistible charm by which her sex, though latent, operated upon the instinct of the Cardinals- Non vi aliqua, sed concorditer, omnium in se converso desiderio, quæ sunt blandientis sexus artes, latentes in hac quanquam !» *This is an anachronism, for it was not till the eleventh century that the Bishop of Rome took the title of Papa, or Universal Father. LETTER VII. Page 133. to maintain the becoming splendour of his office.' The R-G-T produces the appalling fragments, upon which the CH-NC-LL-R breaks out into exclamations of loyalty and tenderness, and relates the following portentous dream: The Manuscript which I found in the Bookseller's Letter, is a Melo-Drama, in two Acts, entitled «THE Book, of which the Theatres, of course, had had the refusal, before it was presented to Messrs. L―ck-ngt-n and Co.-This rejected Drama, however, possesses considerable merit, and I shall take the liberty of laying | I had a fearful dream of thee, my P——E!— a sketch of it before my Readers. The first Act opens in a very awful manner:- Time, three o'clock in the morning-Scene, the Bourbon Chamber in C-rlt-n House-Enter the P-— E R-G-T solus.-After a few broken sentences, he thus exclaims: Away-away Thou haunt'st my fancy so, thou devilish Book! And all thy blank-leaves stare from R-D-R's face! Thy List of dire Errata in myself. [Walks the stage in considerable agitation.] Delicious drams! why have you not the art He is here interrupted in his Soliloquy by perceiving some scribbled fragments of paper on the ground, which he collects, and « by the light of two magnificent candelabras discovers the following unconnected words — « Wife neglected»-« the Book»-« Wrong Measures» the Queen»-« Mr Lambert»-« the R—G—T.» Ha! treason in my House!-Curst words, that wither "T is scarcely two hours since Methought I heard thee, midst a courtly crowd, " But bent and worshipp'd the Illustrious Pair Of Whiskers! whiskers! shook the echoing skies!- [Weeps.] Heavens, how it blazed!—I'd ask no livelier fire My wife! the Book, too!-stay-a nearer look-Ah! where was then the Sylphid, that unfurls Death and destruction! He here rings all the bells, and a whole legion of Valets enter-A scene of cursing and swearing (very much in the German style) ensues, in the course of which messengers are dispatched, in different directions, for the L-RD CH-NC-LL-R, the D-g of C-B-L-D, etc. etc.-The intermediate time is filled up by another soliloquy, at the conclusion of which the aforesaid Personages rush on alarmed-the D-E with his stays only half-laced, and the CH-NC-LLOR with his wig thrown hastily over an old red night-cap, 'There was a mysterious Book, in the 16th Century, which employed all the anxious curiosity of the learned of that day-Every one spoke of it: many wrote against it, though it does not appear that any body had ever seen it; and indeed Grotius is of opinion that no such book ever existed. It was entitled « Liber de tribus Impostoribus. (See Morhof. Cap. de Libris damnatis.)-Our more modern mystery of the Book resembles this in many particulars; and, if the number of Lawyers employed in drawing it up be stated correctly, a slight alteration of the title into a tribus impostoribuss would produce a coincidence altogether very remarkable. * The Chamber, I suppose, which was prepared for the reception of the Bourbons at the first Grand te, and which was ornamented (all for the deliverance of Europe ») with fleurs de lys. Her fairy standard in defence of curls? Here his Lordship weeps more profusely than ever, and the R-G-T (who has been very much agitated during the recital of the dream), by a movement as characteristic as that of Charles XII when he was shot, claps his hands to his whiskers to feel if all be really safe. A Privy Council is held-all the Servants, etc. are examined, and it appears that a Tailor, who had come to measure the R-G-T for a Dress (which takes three whole pages of the best superfine clinquant in describing), was the only person who had been in the Bourbon Chamber during the day. It is, accordingly, determined unanimous resolution to be vigorous. to seize the Tailor, and the Council breaks up with a The commencement of the Second Act turns chiefly upon the Trial and Imprisonment of two Brothers-but as this forms the under plot of the Drama, I shall content myself with extracting from it the following speech, 1. To enable the individual, who holds the office of Chancellor, to maintain it in becoming splendour.» (A loud laugh.) Lord Castlereagh's Speech upon the Vice-Chancellor's Bill. which is addressed to the two brothers, as they « exeunt Look through all Europe's Kings-at least, those who severally» to Prison: Go to your prisons-though the air of Spring With the few loved-ones Heaven has placed it near, The scene next changes to a Tailor's Work-shop, and a fancifully-arranged group of these Artists is discovered upon the Shop-board-Their task evidently of a royal nature, from the profusion of gold-lace, frogs, etc. that lie about-They all rise and come forward, while one of them sings the following Stanzas, to the tune of Derry Down.. " My brave brother Tailors, come, straighten your knees, go loose Not a King of them all's such a friend to the Goose. So, God keep him increasing in size and renown, Still the fattest and best-fitted P-E about town! Derry down, etc. During the Derry down of this last verse, a messenger from the S-c-t-y of S--e's Office rushes on, and the singer (who, luckily for the effect of the scene, is the very Tailor suspected of the mysterious fragments) is interrupted in the midst of his laudatory exertions, and hurried away, to the no small surprise and consternation of his comrades. The Plot now hastens rapidly in its development-the management of the Tailor's examination is highly skilful, and the alarm which he is made to betray is natural without being ludicrous. The explanation, too, which he finally gives, is not more simple than satisfactory. It appears that the said fragments formed part of a self-exculpatory note, which he had intended to send to Colonel MM-N upon subjects purely professional, and the corresponding bits (which still lie luckily in his pocket) being produced, and skilfully laid beside the others, the following billet-doux is the satisfactory result of their juxta-position: Honour'd Colonel-my WIFE, who's the QUEEN of all slatterns, NEGLECTED to put up THE BOOK of new Patterns. This fully explains the whole mystery—the R—G—T resumes his wonted smiles, and the drama terminates, as usual, to the satisfaction of all parties. The Fudge Family in Paris. Le Leggi della Maschera richiedono che una persona mascherata non sia salutata per nome da uno che la conosce malgrado il suo travestimento. CASTIGLIONE. PREFACE. In what manner the following epistles came into my hands, it is not necessary for the public to know. It will be seen by Mr FUDGE's Second Letter, that he is one of those gentlemen whose Secret Services in Ireland, under the mild ministry of my Lord C▬▬▬GH, have been so amply and gratefully remunerated. Like his friend and associate, THOMAS REYNOLDS, Esq., he had retired upon the reward of his honest industry; but has lately been induced to appear again in active life, and superintend the training of that Delatorian Cohort, which Lord S-DM-TH, in his wisdom and benevolence, has organized. Whether Mr FUDGE, himself, has yet made any discoveries, does not appear from the following pages;— but much may be expected from a person of his zeal and sagacity, and, indeed, to him, Lord S-DM-TH, and the Greenland-bound ships, the eyes of all lovers of discoveries are now most anxiously directed. I regret that I have been obliged to omit Mr Boa FUDGE's Third Letter, concluding the adventures of his Day, with the Dinner, Opera, etc. etc.-but, in consequence of some remarks ◆pon Marinette's thin drapery, which, it was thought, might give offence to certain well-meaning persons, the manuscript was sent back to Paris for his revision, and had not returned when the last sheet was put to press. It will not, I hope, be thought presumptuous, if I take this opportunity of complaining of a very serious in- | justice I have suffered from the public. Dr KING wrote a treatise to prove that BENTLEY was not the author of his own book, and a similar absurdity has been asserted of me, in almost all the best informed literary circles. With the name of the real author staring them in the face, they have yet persisted in attributing my works to other people; and the fame of the Twopenny Post-Bagsuch as it is-having hovered doubtfully over various persons, has at last settled upon the head of a certain little gentleman, who wears it, I understand, as complacently as if it actually belonged to him; without even the honesty of avowing, with his own favourite author (he will excuse the pun) Εγω δ' Ὁ ΜΩΡΟΣ αρας Εδησαμην μετωπῳ. I can only add, that if any lady or gentleman, curious in such matters, will take the trouble of calling at iny lodgings, 245, Piccadilly, I shall have the honour of assuring them, in propria persona, that I am-his, or her, Very obedient and very humble servant, April, 17, 1818. THE FUDGE FAMILY IN PARIS. LETTER I. FROM MISS BIDDY FUDGE TO MISS DOROTHY——, OF CLONSKILTY, IN IRELAND. Amiens. DEAR Doll, while the tails of our horses are plaiting, I sit down to write you a line-only think!— At the sight of that spot, where our darling This is all that's occurr'd sentimental as yet; Our party consists, in a neat Calais job, In short, dear, a Dandy describes what I mean, An improving young man, fond of learning, ambitious, And prove to mankind that their rights are but folly, Their freedom a joke (which it is, you know, DOLLY); There's none, said his Lordship, if I may be judge, Half so fit for this great undertaking as FUDGE!. The matter's soon settled-Pa flies to the Row (The first stage your tourists now usually go), Settles all for his quarto-advertisements, praisesStarts post from the door, with his tablets-French phrases SCOTT's Visit, of course-in short, every thing he has An author can want, except words and ideas:And, lo! the first thing in the spring of the year, IS PHIL. FUDGE at the front of a Quarto, my dear! But, bless me, my paper 's near out, so I'd better Draw fast to a close :-this exceeding long letter You owe to a déjeûner à la Fourchette, nours May think, in their fright, of suppressing poor CONNOR's? Entre nous, too, a Papist-how liberal of Pa! Where the poor palace changes masters While ****"'s borne on shoulders in: The Ministers still keep their places. How oft, dear Viscount C――――GH, For him who writes a Tour, that he And spread, beyond man's usual share, Like Major SEMPLE, every where! There's one thou shouldst be chiefly pleased at- And C-Gu's the thing now sneezed at! But hold, my pen!-a truce to praising- But time and ink run short, and now I must embark into the feature On which this letter chiefly hinges ;-1 And bayonets, and the Duke commanding- That Fce prefers her go-cart To such a coward scamp as Though round, with each a leading-string, The title of the chief magistrate of Belfast, before whom bis Lordship (with the studiam immane loquendi - attributed by Ovid to that chattering and rapacious class of birds, the pies) delivered sundry long and self-gratulatory orations, on his return from the Continent. It was at one of these Irish dinners that his gallant brother Lord S. proposed the health of The best cavalry officer in Euro, e-the Regent !» Verbatim from one of the noble Viscount's speeches. And now, Sir, 1 must embark into the feature on which this question chiefly hinges.. |