believe him, my Lord, fays Mrs. Muckworm, he is rich enough to give me that and every Thing elfe; I am ́ fure it is little lefs than a Hundred Thoufand Pounds. Oh fie, Wife, oh fie. More, fays my Lord, more, all the World agree in it; Do they indeed, my Lord? fays' Muckworm: well I did not imagine any one thought me worth half the Money.

Now my Lord had obferved, that the first Present had affifted much in winning the good Opinion of Mrs. and confequently of Mr. Muckworm; he therefore determined to quicken their Speed by another.

WELL,' fays my Lord,' you shall buy Mrs. Muck worm a Silver Kettle and Lamp, it will not cost above Forty Guineas.'

FORTY Guineas: Two and Forty Shillings a Year Interest Money loft, for the Sake of boiling Water in Silver; what will my Creditors fay? No, no, my Lord, I afk your Pardon.

I DON'T believe he owes a Farthing in the World, my Lord,' fays Mrs. Muckworm. The Vifcount then ordered his Servant to bring up that Parcel which was in the Coach; this he prefented Mrs. Muckworm, infifting that the fhould not fee what it contained till he was gone, unless the promifed to accept it; this, Mrs. Muckworm, being again very much afhamed, at laft consented to; when, to the great Surprize and no lefs Joy of this Lady and her Husband, what fhould it be but a very elegant Silver Lamp and Tea-kettle.

1

THIS was too much, they both agreed; however, Mrs. Muckworm knew not what to fay, fince my Lord had made her promise to receive it, she could not break her Promife; fhe therefore determined to be at the Expence of having engraved on the Side, the Name of the Lord Viscount Flimfy, the Day of the Month, and Date of the Year when it was prefented her.

My Lord now finding Things as he wifhed, to enhance the Value and begin the Humbug, added, that

it was made in England for the Princefs of Condé, but that he liking the Fashion of it, was determined to purchase it at any Price for Mrs. Muckworm; as your Tafte, Madam, I am convinced, is extremely good,' fays he. Very good, my Lord,' fays Mrs.

Muck

Muckworm, fo is my Eye-fight; I don't use Specta'cles; thank God, I have all iny Senfes as well as ever.' Without doubt,' fays his Lordship, fmiling, your Eyes are admirable.' In my Youth they were thought fo, but now I can't fay much for them.'

6

MR. Muckworm being much exhilarated with this Prefent, had once a great Mind to afk my Lord to Supper, but then he thought it might coft a Crown or Ten Shillings, and declined it; however, taking Courage, and being determined to be generous, for two Reasons which then fhot into his Head, he refolved again to afk him, and therefore requested his Lordship's Company, which was accordingly granted.

Now that our Readers may not accuse us with Nigardlinefs, and keeping those two Reasons to ourselves, we fhall declare the first was, he thought he might fafely charge the Expence to Mifs Arabella Thrifty, as it was on her account his Lordship came; and the second, that the Silver Tea-kettle, at leaft, was worth that Civility, when the Entertainment was to be of no Expence to him.

MRS. Muckworm then defcended into the Kitchen, and declared to her Maids, that the believed my Lord was the clevereft Lord in all England; telling them what a handsome Present he had made her.

SUPPER being ferved, which we shall not defcribe, his Lordship was lavish in its Praife, preferring it to French Cookery in every Dish; Mr. Muckworm, who had determined to charge the Entertainment to Mifs Arabella, took a chearful Glafs, and waxing mellow, vowed that my Lord fhould marry her; as did Mrs. Muckworm alfo.

DURING the Evening's Potation, Mr. Muckworm. afked if the Princefs he mentioned was not one of our Royal Family?

His Lordship anfwered, yes it was. I THOUGHT fo,' fays Muckworm, there is a long Lift of them, I do not remember their Names, but at Church when the Parfon prays for the K―g, the P-ce, the P-sse, the D- and the rest of them; it puts me in mind of the old Song, which

goes on with the Gallon, the Pottle, the Quart, the Pint, the Half-pint, the Nipperkin, and the brown he cod it always makes me think of that Song, · iny Lord.'

Bowl;

Ar this my Lord was greatly pleased, and averred that he never had heard a better Thing in all his Travels, laughing extravagantly, repeating the Quart, the Pint, the Half-pint, Nipperkin, and the brown Bowl; Mrs. Muckworm faying afide, to be sure her Husband was extremely comical fometimes.

THE Evening was clofed with Promises of Marriage, and Toafts to Arabella's Health; my Lord retired, and Mr. and Mrs. Muckworm past an half Hour in praifing my Lord and his Generofity, concluding that Arabella would be the happiest of all Women, in being married to fuch a Nobleman who loved her fo well already, tho' he had never seen her.

THIS being concluded, Mr. Muckworm untied his Garters by the Fire, called for his old Shoes cut into new Slippers, and taking the Candle, retired to Bed with his Lady, where we leave them and retire also.

CHAP. XLVIII.

Mifs Arabella Thrifty and Mr. Muckworm dialogize on the Nature of a Father's Inclination. My Lord makes a very powerful, tho' not a pleafing Impression on the Heart of Mifs Thrifty. The great Advantage of travelling. Stories for the Humbug. Which Chapter we hope will be well received by all good Protef tants and Friends to the Germanic Interest.

M

ISS Arabella Thrifty and Mrs. Margaret Wrinkle proceeded to London, the old Maid much better pleafed than the young, one leaving all the loved, and the other going to all the liked; this fighing at deferting the rural Shades, Streams of Water, Evening walks, the Mufic of the Birds, the tender Looks, Expreffions, and Attention, of Male and Female inutually in Love; Mrs. Margaret rejoicing in returning to

the

the Delights of old Maids, Plays, Cards, Vauxhall, Ranelagh, and fuch Entertainments.

BEING arrived at Mr. Muckworm's, Mifs Arabella was fcarce in the Dining room, before old Muckworm wished her Joy of having a Lord for her Husband. A HUSBAND' fays the young Lady,

• I am not

" yet married.' No,' fays the Merchant, but I have promifed you fhall have him; you know you are under my Direction, and your Father made me promife I would marry you to a Lord.'

८

My Father might do that, but you know, Sir, I have never given my Confent to any fuch Propofition, and I imagine he never intended I fhould marry a Lord if I did not like him; it is neceffary I should fee him before I enter on that Refolution.'

'S'BLOOD,' fays the old Fellow, you don't intend refufing a Lord with Five Thousand a Year; what do you imagine that Lords are as plenty as Grocers and Apothecaries, and are to be picked up a Dozen in a Street.'

Bur you will permit me to fee him before I decide on fo material a Subject,' fhe faid.

Yes, yes, you fhall fee him To-morrow,' fays Muckworm, and feel him too.'

WHETHER the following deep Remark has been already committed to Paper or not, we are not at all folicitous; but we know it is certainly true, that in Proportion as any Thing is greatly liked by any one, fo all other Objects become indifferent to that Perfon, and when a Lady in Love with a young and handsome Man whom the wishes to marry, is prohibited from that, and enjoined to wed another she does not love, this laft never fails of becoming odious to her Eyes.

THE Right Honourable the Viscount Flimy then would have had but little Appearance of Succefs, with Mifs Arabella Thrifty, if every Thing of Perfon, Understanding, and Difpofition, had been in his Favour.

BUT as all these three were in his Disfavour, his Perfon being changed by Difeafe, and his Temper by Indulgence, there was but little Probability of his being agrecable in her Eyes by Acquaintance.

HOWEVER,

HOWEVER, the Evening was appointed, and the Viscount waited on Mifs Arabella Thrifty. He was introduced to her by Mr. Muckworm, with a he is, this is my Lord Flimfy.'

• here

Miss Arabella received him with Referve and Politenefs; his Salute adding not a little to the Antipathy which his Face and Prefence, joined to her former Paffion for another, had created.

INDEED the Breath of his Mouth (for it could not pafs thro' his Noftrils) was almoft as fuffocating, as that of the Grotto di Cani, and Ten Thousand times more naufeous to the Smell.

THIS Senfe being loft in him, was no fmall Advantage, and he might have faid of his Nofe what is cut on fome Tombítones, Mors mihi lucrum, with more Truth than that Sentence is always added to an Epitaph.

THE Vifcount had prefumed, that Mifs Arabella being born in the City, was juft fuch another Thing as Mrs. Muckworm, refembling her as a young Bear does an old one, and had never conceived the Woman but as an Incumbrance to the Money, like paying Fees for the Patent of Nobility.

BUT when he beheld her, he was pleafed with her Perfon, and would have given a Hundred Guineas for that, tho' he had never tafted her but once, being fo extremely delicate in his Appetite, that it was with Difficulty he could eat twice of one Dish.

NOTWITHSTANDING this Idea in favour of her Perfon, he still conceived her Mind must be extremely Gothic, being bred in the City; he therefore as the was young, imagined he might treat her with much Freedom, marry her, receive her Money, and amufe her like a young Kitten, by giving her a Rabbit's Tail, or a Cork to play with.

DURING the Time of Tea-drinking he accofted her with muck Freedom, and the received him with much Referve; til at laft Mr. Muckworm, who conceived Marriages should be driven like Bargains without fhilly fhally, by immediately coming to the Purpose, began; • here you be together, my Lord, and you Mifs Thrifty, and as it was your Father's Will that you

'fhould