Letter from Agatha Amiable,

if you think us worthy of being flattered into angels, we must be worthy of having some part of a common magazine dedicated to us. I can assure you, Mr. Editor, I have considerable spirit, and so has every member of the "Equanimities," and we are all determined, if you do not follow our advice, and implicitly obey our directions, in the conduct of the work, to set up a monthly journal ourselves, and sink you and your supporters, whoever they may be. In the first place it appears, if I can draw any conclusion from the beforementioned prospectus, to be your design to leave out all notice of the interesting occurrences of the city: for instance, if an unfortunate female, in a moment of unguarded anger, takes revenge upon her inconstant by throwing herself into one of the canals, swims for a few minutes on the surface of the water, sinks, and is drowned, you will not let us know a word about it, but, with unprecedented want of feeling, pass it by as a common place occurrence below the dignity of your pages:-or again, if my Lord Witwould said a funny thing to Mr. Wright, which was buzzed about the fashionable circles, you omit all mention of it; and wit, as well as the history of the accidents, &c. &c. which daily occur, is totally foreign to your intention, and claims no place in your book. Although I own myself an admirer of your liberality, I must confess I detest yon for the exclusion of those interesting topics. What can be so delightful as to behold the deaths, births, and marriages of one and thirty days concentred in one valuable page!-it were worthy of stereotype, and, as Shakespeare has it-(who is much talked of by the "Equanimities")

"It were a consummation devoutly to be wished for!"

You cannot imagine how much it would increase the sale of your magazine, and raise your reputation, to include those things to which I have alluded: also, you should appropriate a few spare leaves to Riddles, Charades, and Acrostics; the plan of which you may borrow from " Jones' New Ladies," or the "Belfast Almanack;" besides, Mr. Editor, the article of "Original Poetry" does not appear to shine forth in the splendor of its beauty in your Prospectus. Poetry, above all things in the world, is intended for the use and amusement of us, ladies; and gentlemen adopting that school of composition should be careful to avoid abstruse terms, or unintelligible words. Now I do not like your poets who speak of" cœrulean lights," interminable gloom," and

66

Letter from Agatha Amiable.

“Cimmerian darkness;" for I am obliged to turn over the folios of my dictionary to ascertain the meaning of those expressions, and when obtained, I find a still greater difficulty in recollecting them. No, Sir! your Poetry should consist of sonnets and broken tales: I love fragments above nature-I could adore a sweet pathetic ballad, that breaks off in the midst of a gloomy passage, where the hero and heroine are benighted in a forest-throws in a flash of lightning to show them extended under the protecting shade of an acacia or any other foreign tree, and-leaves them there. I feel myself lifted to the stars, when the "White Doe of Rylston" bounds into the church-yard; and I cannot contain myself upon the mention of "Alonzo and Imogine."

But these, Mr. Editor, are not the only observations I have to make. I would preface what I am about to say by a severe censure on your want of taste and discernmentI would tax you with ignorance, presumption and vanity, and take you to pieces through spite, did I not hope you would reform, and become the creature of my will. How does it happen, that, even admitting you were justifiable in excluding deaths, births and marriages, accidents and offences, puns, and anecdotes of extraordinary persons, poetry, and a long list of riddles and conundrums, &c. for the ladies— how does it happen, I say, Mr. Editor, that you had the audacity to leave out all mention of the Fashions for the month? I will spare you the pain of answering; indeed I pity you for the dilemma in which you have placed yourself, and intreat you to remedy it as soon as possible, by establishing a female correspondent in Paris, and another in London, who will afford you sufficient communications to help out a monthly journal of morning and evening costume, and dinner dresses. Allow me to observe, that this is a matter of considerable moment; hasten to imitate your predecessors-model your publication on the manner of those who have gone before you, and do not attempt any thing so strange as to be original.

As I exerted myself rather warmly in your behalf with my friends, I have got different receptions from them some treating my observations with carelessness, and some with affected ignorance, while a few were polite enough, after a little hesitation, to accede to my wishes. Amongst the rest there was one old gentleman who is considered to possess extensive knowledge in those matters, which appear dry and uninteresting to others; and to him I opened more particularly what I conceived to be the object of your " Pros

Letter from Agatha Amiable.

pectus," at the same time expressing a hope that he would lend it his support. This morning I received a note from him, and as it will explain his sentiments better than any thing I can say, I subjoin it.

"MY DEAR MADAM,

"I have looked over the Prospectus' of the intended Magazine, with which you had the goodness to favor me, and I regret I am forced to differ in opinion with you, as to its merits. It professes to be a publication which will be for the general understanding, without adapting any thing to the particular taste or study of particular individuals; you are to be despoiled of your evening conversation, French dresses, and fashionable mistakes; and I am not to look for Meteorology, Therapeutics, or discoveries in Chemistry. How am I to admire a work of this kind, that is not capable of affording a single thought upon optics, and is totally dumb upon Natural Phenomena? They overlook the eccentricities of nature, and take upon them to catch the public without one allusion to Chemistry, Botany, Mineralogy, or Pharmacology; and I dare say, if Dr. Ruttles published a few medical remarks upon Pleurisy, or the cause of heat and cold, or Mr. Warper wrote a digest of the number of vessels that have traded up the Mediterranean since 1722, they would review neither one nor the other. I give my voice decidedly in opposition to it; and remain, my dear madam,

Your sincere friend,

L. S."

Thus, you see, I make free with you, and beg you may amend. You have many monthly publications before you, which you can study and copy; but be particular, in case of a review, never to raise your satire against a woman, nor to judge favourably of any author's work that is not published in London. In the latter case, you will at once shew how barren you are of discrimination, and in the former you will draw upon you the indignation and merited abuse of the whole body of "the Equanimities," who send, through me, their determination and respects, while I subscribe myself, Mr. Editor, with much hope of your reformation,

Your friend,

AGATHA AMIABLE.

The Philanthropist.

THE PHILANTHROPIST.

NO. I.

Experientia docet.

It is generally expected at the commencement of a periodical publication, that the author should give some account of his motives for undertaking it; and I peruse the preface of a book with no small degree of curiosity, as I can from thence form an idea of its distinguishing features. In order, therefore, to gratify the wishes of my readers, who are probably anxious to know me, I shall dedicate this number of the Philanthropist to the purpose of rendering a concise account of myself and of the motives which have induced me thus to obtrude my observations on their notice. The communication of my name and place of abode, I must for the present decline; as, from the celebrity which my very valuable papers must shortly attain among all judges of merit, it would only subject me to innumerable compliments and congratulations from my friends. I am naturally modest, and possess an innate aversion to hear my own praises, and hope, therefore, to remain in obscurity, until some more propitious opportunity, when this public display of my acquirements shall have worn away my bashfulness and enabled me more boldly to meet them. In addition to this forcible reason for concealment, if, gentle reader, you have sufficient patience to travel with me through the remainder of this number, you will perceive that a premature disclosure of my name would entirely defeat the object I have in view, and render me incapable of administering to your gratification.

With respect to my person, I must observe, that it is not in any manner prepossessing. My face bears evident marks of the ravages it has sustained from the small-pox; and in figure and complexion I have but few acknowledgments to make to Nature for her kindness. My dress is not calculated to wear off this unfavourable impression; it is old and antiquated, and its fashion appears as if handed down to me from my forefathers with as much precision and as little alteration as the family estate; over a large bob-wig, which I keep well supplied with powder and pomatum, I wear a broad-brimmed hat; my clothes were once black; my square

The Philanthropist.

toed shoes are fastened with massy silver buckles, and a stick, whose handle is carved into a bust of Janus, with his old face at one side, and his young face on the other, supports me in my peregrinations. This description is not very promising: but Nature has made ample amends for any defect in my personal attractions, by giving me a heart glowing with the fervor of benevolence, and tremblingly alive to every impulse of humanity.

I am now in the sixty-fourth year of my age, and possess as much bodily strength and activity as I did thirty years ago. Through every stage of my long life, I have been inquisitive and curious, and from my tenderest youth have been possessed with an insatiable anxiety to know the affairs and even the secrets of all my acquaintance. I must, however, in justice to my own reputation, attribute this propensity not to any perverse and froward disposition; but to the wish, by which I have always been actuated, of bettering the conditions of my neighbors, which laudable purpose I imagined it impossible to perform without an accurate knowledge of their grievances; and hence arose my curiosity. But my efforts in the cause of humanity were attended with many disagreeable consequences to me: those, whom I endeavoured to turn aside from the errors in which they were bewildered, thought me a malicious spy, intruding into their privacy that I might indulge a censorious disposition by revealing the follies I discovered there; others, whom I hoped to relieve in their worldly affairs by wholesome advice, or even pecuniary assistance, assured me that I was mistaken in supposing myself to be wiser than my neighbors, and that I would find sufficient employment in minding my own business; or else accepted my money with professions of gratitude, that were never realised in either word or action. Some expelled me from their society-others abused me in terms of the vilest reproach; and thus, finding all my projects of philanthropy abortive, and my good offices not merely repulsed with scorn, but returned with ill-nature and malice, I left the scene of my disappointment, almost determined never again to interest myself in the affairs of my fellow-creatures.

Travelling was the only resource to divert the melancholy which now preyed on my spirits. France, Switzerland, Italy and Greece, were visited and admired. With rapture did I gaze on the illustrious remains of antiquity which adorn this classic ground-they recalled to my memory the

1