To let it out in books of all sorts, In which the Greeks and Romans And o'er her figure, swoln and antic, Epics he wrote, and scores of rebuses, Did I but tell the half, to follow me ; E'er filled with lumber such a wareroom To the Editor of the Morning Chronicle. SIR,-In order to explain the following Fragment, it is necessary to refer your readers to a late florid description of the Pavilion at Brighton, in the apartments of which, we are told,Fum, The Chinese Bird of Royalty,' is a principal ornament. I am, Sir, yours, &c., FUM AND HUM, THE TWO BIRDS OF ROYALTY. ONE day the Chinese Bird of Royalty, Fum, MUM. In that Palace or China-shop (Brighton, which is it?) 1 Under this description, I believe, The Devil among the Scholars may be included. Yet Leibnitz found out the uses of incomprehensibility, when he was appointed secretary to a society of philosophers at Nuremberg, merely for his merit in writing a cabalistical letter, one word of which neither they nor himself could interpret. See the Eloge Historique de M. de Leibnitz, l'Europe Savante. People in all ages have loved to be puzzled. We find Cicero thanking Atticus for having sent him a work of Serapion, ex quo (says he) quidem ego (quod inter nos liceat dicere) millesimam partem vix intelligo.'-Lib. 2, epist. 4. And we know that Avicen, the learned Arabian, read Aristotle's Metaphysics forty times over, for the supreme pleasure of being able to inform the world that he could not comprehend one syllable throughout them.-Nicolas Mossa in Vit. Avicen. It chanc'd at this moment, the Episcopal Prig That, while Fum cried 'Oh Fo!' all the court cried Oh fie!' Is it up? is it prime? is it spooney?— -or how?' From the bed-chamber came, where that long Mandarin, EPISTLE FROM TOM CRIBB TO BIG BEN. " Ahi, mio BEN!'-Metastasio.3 WHAT! Ben, my old hero, is this your renown? When the foe has knock'd under, to tread on him then By the fist of my father, I blush for thee, Ben! Foul! foul!' all the lads of the Fancy exclaim- In consequence of an old promise, that he should be allowed to wear his own hair, whenever he might be elevated to a Bishopric by his R-1 H SS. 2 Written soon after Bonaparte's transportation to St. Helena. 3 Tom, I suppose, was 'assisted' to this Motto by Mr. Jackson, who, it is well known, keeps the most learned company going. But this comes, Master Ben, of your curst foreign notions, By the fist of my father, I blush for thee, Ben. To show the white feather is many men's doom, But, what of one feather ?-Ben shows a whole Plume. AN AMATORY COLLOQUY BETWEEN BANK AND GOVERNMENT, BANK. Is all then forgotten ?—those amorous pranks You and I, in our youth, my dear Government, played When you called me the fondest, the truest of Banks, And enjoyed the endearing advances I made. When-left to do all, unmolested and free, That a dashing, expensive young couple should do, A law against paying was laid upon me, But none against owing, dear helpmate, on you? And is it then vanished?-that 'hour (as Othello GOVERNMENT. Even so, my beloved Mrs. Bank, it must be, This paying in cash plays the devil with wooing Gin. We've both had our swing, but I plainly foresee Even Reverend Malthus himself is a friend to; Disposed of so many pounds, shillings, and pence; And, in spite of that pink of prosperity, Freddy, Who'd even in famine cry, D-n the expense !'The day is at hand, my Papyria1 Venus, When, high as we once used to carry our capers, Those soft billets-doux we're now passing between us Will serve but to keep Mrs. C-tts in curl-papers; And when-if we still must continue our love After all that is past-our amour, it is clear (Like that which Miss Danaë managed with Jove), Must all be transacted in bullion, my dear! ODE TO THE GODDESS CERES. BY SIR T-S LE. Legiferæ Cereri Phœboque.'-Virgil. DEAR Goddess of Corn, whom the ancients, we know (Among other odd whims of those comical bodies), Adorned with somniferous poppies, to show Thou wert always a true Country-gentleman's Goddess ! Behold, in his best shooting-jacket, before thee, An eloquent 'Squire, who most humbly beseeches, 'Tis now the Corn-growers, alas! that are roasted! There's B-nth-m, whose English is all his own making,— As he would of smoking his pipe, or of taking (What he himself calls) his post-prandial vibration."2 'To distinguish her from the 'Aurea.' * The venerable Jeremy's phrase for his after-dinner walk. There are two Mr. M——s, too, whom those that like reading In short, my dear Goddess, Old England's divided For therein I've proved, to my own satisfaction, And that of all 'Squires I've the honour of meeting, On the contrary, such the chaste notions of food That would make thee dear Goddess, less dear than thou art! And, oh! for Monopoly what a blest day, When the Land and the Silk shall, in fond combination, (Like Sulky and Silky, that pair in the play), Cry out, with one voice, for High Rents and Starvation !1 Long life to the Minister !--no matter who, Or how dull he may be, if, with dignified spirit, he, As for myself, who've, like Hannibal, sworn To hate the whole crew who would take our rents from us, That last honest Uni-corn would be-Sir Th -s! DIALOGUE BETWEEN A SOVEREIGN AND A ONE-POUND NOTE, • Road to Ruin. 'O ego non felix, quam tu fugis, ut pavet acres SAID a Sovereign to a Note, In the pocket of my coat, Where they met, in a neat purse of leather, That though I'm wedded with thee, allusion to the natural history of the unicorn, Dicta Fames Cereris (quamvis contraria which is supposed to be something between the semper Illius est operi) peragit.-Ovid. Bos and the Asinus, and, as Rees clopædia tells us, has a particular liking for anything 2 This is meant not so much for a pun, as in chaste. |