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TI KAKON O TEAN.

Nay, Davy's Lamp, till seen by Ned, With tomes sufficient to confound him Had-odd enough-an awkward hole Like Tohu Bohu heaped around himin't.

Mamurra stuck to Theophrastus 'Twas thus, all-doing and all-knowing, When lo! while all that's learned and

And Galen tuinbling o'er Bombastus, Wit, statesman, boxer, chemist, singer,

wise Whatever was the best pie going, In that Ned-trust him—had his And through the window of his study

Absorbs the boy, he lifts his eyes,
finger.

Beholds a virgin, fair and ruddy,
With eyes as brightly turned upon

him as
THE DEVIL AMONG THE The angel's3 were on Hieronymus,
SCHOLARS.

Saying, 'twas just as sweet to kiss her

oh! AN EXTRACT.1

Far more sweet than reading Cicero!

Quick fly the folios, widely scattereil, Chrysost. Homil. in Epist. ad Hebræos. Old Homer's laurelled brow is battered,

And Sappho's skin to Tully's leather, But whither have these gentle ones, All are confused and tossed together! The rosy nymphs and black-eyed nuns, Raptured he quits each dozing sage, With all of Cupid's wild romancing,

Oh woman ! for thy lovelier page: Led my truant brains a-dancing ? Sweet book! unlike the books of art, Instead of wise Encomiastics

Whose errors are thy fairest part ; Upon the Doctors and Scholastics, In whom the dear errata column Polymaths, and Polyhistors,

Is the best page in all the volume !* Polyglots and all their sisters, But, to begin my subject rhymeThe instant I have got the whim in, 'Twas just about this devilish time, Off I fly with nuns and women, When scarce there happened any frolics Like epic poets, ne'er at ease

That were not done by Diabolics, Until I've stolen ‘in medias res !' A cold and loveless son of Lucifer, So have I known a hopeful youth Who woman scorned, nor knew the use Sit down in quest of lore and truth

of her,

1. I promised that I would give the remainder Gentilium libros non legat.':- Distinct. 37. But of this poem; but as my critics do not seem to Gratian is notorious for lying-besides, angels relish the sublime learning it contains, they shall have got no tongues, as the illustrious pupil of have no more of it. With a view, however, to the Pantenus assures us. Oux' is nuur ta wra, edification of these gentlemen, I have prevailed ούτως εκεινους ή γλωττα ουδ' αν οργανα τις δωη on an industrious friend of mine, who has read ourns ayyedois. --Clem. Alerand. Stromat. How a great number of unnecessary books, to illumi. an angel could scold without a tongue, I leave nate the extract with a little of his precious the angelic Mrs. -- to determine. erudition.

* The idea of the Rabbins, respecting the origin 2 Bombastus was cne of the names of that of woman, is singular. They think that man was scholar and quack Paracelsus. Philippus originally formed with a tail, like a monkey, but Bombastus latet sub splendido tegmine Aureoli that the Deity cut off this appendage, and made Theophrasti Paracelsi,' says Stadelius de Circum- woman of it. Upon this extraordinary supposi. foraneâ Literatorum Vanitate. He used to fight tion the following reflection is founded:the devil every night with a broadsword, to the If such is the tie between women and men, no small terror of his pupil, Oporinus, who has

The ninny who weds is a pitiful elf, recorded the circumstance. Paracelsus had but a poor opinion of Galen. * My very beard,' (says For he takes to his tail like an idiot again, he, in bis “Paragrænum ") has more learning

And thus makes a deplorable ape of himself. o it than either Galen or Avicenna.'

Yet, if we may judge as the fashions prevail, 3 The angel, who scolded St. Jerome for read. Every husband remembers th' original plan, ing Cicero, as Gratian tells the story in his And, knowing his wife is no more than his tail, •Concordantia discordantium Canonum,' and Why he-leaves her behind him as much as says, that for this reason bishops were not he can. allowed to read the Classics : Episcopus

A branch of Dagon's family

And never paid a bill or balance
(Which Dagon, whether He or She, Except upon the Grecian Kalends,
Is a dispute that vastly better is From whence your scholars, when they
Referred to Scaligero et cæteris),

want tick,
Finding that, in this cage of fools, Say, to be At-tick's to be on tick!
The wisest sots adorn the schools, In logics, he was quite Ho Panu !
Took it at once his head Satanic in, Knew as much as ever man knew.
To grow a great scholastic mannikin, He fought the combat syllogistic
A doctor, quite as learned and fine as With so much skill and art eristic,
Scotus John or Tom Aquinas,

That though you were the learned Lully, Hales irrefragabilis,

Stagyrite, Or any doctor of the rabble is ! At once upon the hip he had you right! In languages, the Polyglots,

Sometimes indeed his speculations Compared to him, were

Babel sots ; Were viewed as dangerous innovations. He chattered more than ever Jew did, As thus--the Doctor's house did har Sanhedrim and Priest included ;

bour a Priest and holy Sanhedrim

Sweet blooming girl, whose name was Were one-and-seventy fools to him ! Barbara ; But chief the learned demon felt a Oft, when his heart was in a merry key, Zeal so strong for gamma, delta, He taught this maid his esoterica, That, all for Greek and learning's glory, 4 And sometimes, as a cure for hectics, He nightly tippled 'Græco more, Would lecture her in dialectics.

Scaliger. de Emendat. Tempor.—Dagon was he) has sent me some dates and some raisins, and thought by others to be a certain sea-monster, has also written me two letters in Greek. As who came every day out of the Red Sea to teach soon as I am recovered, I shall answer them in the Syrians husbandry.--See Jacques Gaffarel Turkish, that he too may have the pleasure of ('Curiosités Inouïes,' chap. i.), who says he thinks reading what he does not understand. "Græca this story of the sea-monster carries little shox sunt, legi non possunt,' is the ignorant speech of probability with it.'

attributed to Accursius, but very unjustly. Far 2! wish it were known with any degree of from asserting, that Greek could not be read, certainty whether the 'Commentary on Boethius' that worthy jurisconsult upon the Law 6, D. de attributed to Thomas Aquinas be really the work Bonor. possess. expressly says, 'Græcæ literæ of this Angelic Doctor. There are some bola possunt intelligi et legi.' (Vide Nov. Libror. assertions hazarded in it: for instance, he says Rarior. Collection. Fascicul. IV.)--Scipio Carte. that Plato kept school in a town called Academia, romachus seems to think that there is no salvation and that Alcibiades was a very beautiful woman

out of the pale of Greek literature: Via prima whom some of Aristotle's pupils fell in love with : salutis Graia pandetur ab urbe.' And the zeal

Alcibiades mulier fuit pulcherrima, quam of Laurentius Rhodomannus cannot be suffi. videntes quidam discipuli · Aristotelis, &c. ciently admired, when he exhorts his countrymen, See Freytag Adparat. Litterar. art. 86, tom. i. per gloriam Christi, per salutem patrize, per

3 The following compliment was paid to reipublicæ decus et emolumentum, to study the Laurentius Valla, upon his accurate knowledge the excellent Bishop of Nocera, who, careless of

Greek language. Nor must we forget Phavorinus, of the Latin language:

all the usual commendations of a Christian, Nunc postquam manes defunctus Valla petivit, required no further eulogium on his tomb thieu Non audet Pluto verba Latina loqui.

Here lieth a Greek Lexicographer.'

5'O HANY.-The introduction of this language Since Val arrived in Pluto's shade,

into English poetry has a good effect, and ouglit His nouns and pronouns all so pat in,

to be more universally adopted. A word or two Pluto himself would be afraid

of Greek in a stanza would serve as ballast to the To ask even 'what's o'clock ?' in Latin!

most light o'love' verses. Ausonius, among These lines may be found in the Auctorum Censio the ancients, may serve as a model: of Du Verdier (page 29), an excellent critic, if he Ου γαρ μοι θεμις εστιν in hac regione μενοντι could have either felt or understood any one of Αξιον ab nostris επιδενεα esse καμηναις. the works which he criticises.

Ronsard, the French poet, has enriched his . It is much to be regretted that Martin sonnets and odes with many an exquisite morsel Luther, with all his talents for reforming, should from the Lexicon. His Chère Entelechie, in yet be vulgar enough to laugh at Camerarius for addressing his mistress, is admirable, and can be writing to him in Greek, 'Master Joachim (says only matched by Cowley's Antiperistasis.

How far their zeal let him and her go In point of science astronomical, Before they came to sealing Ergo, It seemed to him extremely comical Or how they placed the medius ter. That, once a year, the frolic sun minus,

Should call at Virgo's house for fun, Our chronicles do not determine us; And stop a month and blaze around But so it was—by some confusion

her, In this their logical prælusion, Yet leave her Virgo, as he found her! The Doctor wholly spoiled, they say, But, 'twas in Optics and Dioptrics, The figure of young Barbara ;

Our demon played his first and top And thus, by many a snare sophistic,

tricks : And enthymeme paralogistic,

He held that sunshine passes quicker Beguiled å maid, who could not give, Through wine than any other liquor ; To save her life, a negative.

That glasses are the best utensils In music, though he had no ears To catch the eye's bewildered pencils ; Except for that amongst the spheres And, though he saw no great objec(Which most of all, as he averred it, tion He dearly loved,'cause no one heard it), To steady light and pure reflection, Yet aptly he, at sight, could read He thought the aberrating rays Each tuneful diagram in Bede, Which play about a bumper's blaze, And find, by Euclid's corollaria, Were by the Doctors looked, in comThe ratios of a jig or aria.

mon, on, But, as for all your warbling Delias, As a more rare and rich phenomenon ! Orpheuses and Saint Cecilias,

He wisely said that the sensorium He owned he thought them much sur. Is for the eyes a great emporium, passed

To which these noted picture stealers By that redoubted Hyaloclast, 3 Send all they can, and meet with Who still contrived, by dint of throttle, dealers. Where'er he went to crack a bottle ! In many an optical proceeding,

The brain, he said, showed great goo:1 Likewise to show his mighty know- breeding ; ledge, he,

For instance, when we ogle women Ùn things unknown in physiology, (A trick which Barbara tutored him Wrote many a chapter to divert us,

in), Like that great little man Albertus, Although the dears are apt to get in a Wherein he showed the reason why, Strange position on the retina ; When children first are heard to cry, Yet instantly the modest brain If boy the baby chance to be,

Doth set them on their legs again !5 He cries, OA !—if girl, OE !-They are, says he, exceeding fair Our doctor thus with stuffed suffihints

ciency'
Respecting their first sinful parents ; Of all omnigenous omnisciency,

Oh Eve!' exclaimeth little madam, Began (as who would not begin
While little master cries, 'Oh Adam ! '4 That bad, like him, so much within ?)

The first figure of simple syllogisms, to which Scriblerus, is borrowed chiefly from the Nup'iæ Barbara belongs, together with Celarent, Darii, Peripateticæ of Barlæus. and Ferio.

s Or Glass Breaker.-Morlofius has given an 3 Because the three propositions in the mood account of this extraordinary man, in a work of Barbara are universal affirmatives.--The poet published 1682. 'De vitrco scypho fracto,' etc. borrowed this equivoque upon Barbara from a * This is translated almost literally from a curious Epigram which Menckenius gives in a passage in Albertus de Secretis, etc.--I have not note upon his Essays de Charlataneria Erudi- the book by me, or I would transcribe the words. torum. In the Nuptie Peripatetice of Caspar 5 Alluding to that habitual act of the judgBarlæus, the reader will find some facetious ment, by which, notwithstanding the inversion

pplications of the terms of logic to matrimony of the image upon the retina, a correct impression trambe's Treatise on Syllogisms, in Martinus of the object is conveyed to the sensorium.

To let it out in books of all sorts, Epics he wrote, and scores of rebuses,
Folios, quartos, large and small sorts ; All as neat as old Turnebus's;
Poems, so very deep and sensible, Eggs and altars, cyclopædias,
That they were quite incomprehensible;" Grammars, prayer-books-oh! 'twere
Prose which had been at learning's Fair, tedious,
And bought up all the trumpery there, Did I but tell the half, to follow me;
The tattered rays of every vest, Not the scribbling bard of Ptolemy,
lo which the Greeks and Romans No--nor the hoary Trismegistus
dressed,

(Whose writings all, thank Heaven !
And o'er her figure, swoln and antic, have missed us),
Scattered them all with airs so frantic, E'er filled with lumber such a wareroom
That those who saw the fits she had, As this great porcus literarum !
Declared unhappy Prose was mad!

To the Editor of the Morning Chronicle. Sir,-- In order to explain the following Fragment, it is necessary to refer your readers to a late Horid description of the Pavilion at Brighton, in the apartments of which, we are told, Fum, The Chinese Bird of Royalty,' is a principal ornament.

I am, Sir, yours, &c.,

MUM.
FUM AND HUM, THE TWO BIRDS OF ROYALTY.
One day the Chinese Bird of Royalty, Fum,
Thus accosted our own Bird of Royalty, Hum,
In that Palace or China-shop (Brighton, which is it ?)
Where Fum had just come to pay Hum a short visit.. -
Near akin are these Birds, though they differ in nation
(The breed of the Hums is as old as creation);
Both, full-craw'd Legitimates—both, birds of prey,
Both, cackling and ravenous creatures, balf way
'Twixt the goose and the vulture, like Lord C-stl-gh.
While Fum deals in Mandarins, Bonzes, Bohea,
Peers, Bishops, and Punch, Hum. are sacred to thee !
So congenial their tastes, that, when Fum first did light on
The floor of that grand China-warehouse at Brighton,
The lanterns, and dragons, and things round the dome
Were so like what he left, . Gad,' says Fum, “I'm at home.'--
And when, turning, he saw Bishop L -ge, * Zooks, it is,'
Quoth the Bird, 'Yes--I know him --a Bonze, by his phiz-
And that jolly old idol he kneels to so low

Can be none but our roundabout godhead, fat Fo ! Under this description, I believe, The Devil thanking Atticus for having sent him a work of among the Scholars may be included. Yet Serapion, ex quo (says he) quidem ego (qnod 1.cibnitz found out the uses of incomprehen- inter nos liceat dicere) inillesimam partem vix sibility, when he was appointed secretary to a intelligo.'-Lib. 2, cpist. 4. And we know that society of philosophers at Nuremberg, merely for Aricen, the learned Arabian, read Aristotle's his merit in writing a cabalistical letter, one Metaphysics forty times over, for the supreme word of which neither they nor himself could pleasure of being able to inform the world tha! interpret. See the Eloge i istorique de M. de he could not comprehend one syllable throughout Leibnitz, l' Europe Savante. People in all ages them.- Nicolas Blossa in Vit. Avicen. have loved to be puzzled. We find Cicero

It chanc'd at this moment, the Episcopal Prig
Was imploring the P- -e to dispense with his wig,
Which the Bird, overhearing, flew high o'er his head,
And some Tobit-like marks of his patronage shed,
Which so dimm'd the poor Dandy's idolatrous eye,
That, while Fum cried Oh Fo!' all the court cried. Oh fie!
But, a truce to digression ;-these Birds of a feather
Thus talk'd, t'other night, on State matters together;
(The P---e just in bed, or about to depart fort,
His legs full of gout, and his arms full of H--rtf—d),
'I say, Hum,' says Fum-Fum, of course, spoke Chinese,
But, bless you, that's nothing—at Brighton oue sees
Foreign lingoes and Bishops translated with ease-

I say, Hum, how fares it with Royalty now?
Is it up? is it prime? is it spooney?-or how ??
(The Bird had just taken a flash-man's degree
Under B-rr-m-re, Y-th, and young Master L-e)
As for us in Pekin'-here a devil of a din
From the bed-chamber came, where that long Mandarin,
C-stl-gh (whon Fum calls the Confucius of Prose),
Was rehearsing a speech upon Europe's repose
To the deep double bass of the fat Idol's nose.
(Nota bene-his Lordship and L-V-rp-1 come,
In collateral lines, from the old Mother Hum,
C-stl-gh a Hum-bug-L-v-rp-1 a Hum-drum.)
The Speech being finish'd, out rush'd C–stl-gh,
Saddled Hum in a hurry, and, whip, spur, away,
Through the regions of air, like a Snip on his hobby,
Ne'er paus’d, till he lighted in St. Stephen's lobby.

EPISTLE FROM TOM CRIBB TO BIG BEN.

CONCERNING SOME FOUL PLAY IN A LATE TRANSACTION.”

Ahi, mio Ben!'-Metastasio.3
What! Ben, my old hero, is this your renown?
Is this the new go?-kick a man when he's down !
When the foe has knock'd under, to tread on him then-
By the fist of my father, I blush for thee, Ben !

Foul ! foul !' all the lads of the Fancy exclaim-
Charley Shock is electrified-Belcher spits flame-
And Molyneux-ay, even Blacky cries shame!'
Time was, when John Bull little difference spied
'Twixt the foe at his feet, and the friend at his side ;
When he found (such his humour in fighting and eating)
His foe, like his beefsteak, the sweeter for beating.

" In consequence of an old promise, that he 2 Written soon after Bonaparte's transportation should be allowed to wear his own hair, whenever to St. Helena. he might be elevated to a Bishopric by his R-1 3 Tom, I suppose, was 'assisted' to this Motto H

by Mr. Jackson, who, it is well known, keeps the most learned company going.

ss,

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