Dick's mind was like a patchwork quilt, Made up of new, old, motley bits- The quilt would look but shy, God wot. And thus he still, new plagiaries seeking, For, 'stead of Dick through others speaking, Now best of Whigs, now worst of rats; One day, with Malthus, foe to breeding, The next, with Sadler, all for brats. Poor Dick!-and how else could it be? Made up of legs and wings of thought— The leavings of the last Debate, or A dinner, yesterday, of wits, A CORRECTED REPORT OF SOME LATE SPEECHES. "Then I heard one saint speaking, and another saint said unto that saint." 1834. ST. S-NCL-R rose and declar'd in sooth, 1 "He objected to the maintenance and education of a clergy bound by the particular vows of celibacy, which, as it were, gave them the church as their only family, making it fill the places of father and mother and brother."-Debate on the Grant to Maynooth College, The Times, April 19. "It had always appeared to him that between the Catholic and Protestant a great gulf intervened, which rendered it impossible," &c. 3 The Baptist might acceptably extend the offices of religion to the Presbyterian and the Independent, or the And though your Liberals, nimble as fleas, St. M-n-d-v-le was the next that rose,- To extirpate them for their doctrine's sake; member of the Church of England to any of the other three; but the Catholic," &c. 4"Could he then, holding as he did a spiritual office in the Church of Scotland, (cries of hear, and laughter,) with any consistency give his consent to a grant of money?" &c. "I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer." Much Ado about Nothing. 6"What, he asked, was the use of the Reformation? What was the use of the Articles of the Church of England, or of the Church of Scotland?" &c. "Now I spy a big body, good heavens, how big! But, to come to the point, though you think, I "Whether Bucky or Taurus I cannot well say: : 1 You bid me explain, my dear angry Ma'amselle, There are two worthy persons I always feel loth To take leave of at starting,-my mistress and tailor, As somehow one always has scenes with them both; The Snip in ill-humour, the Syren in tears, She calling on Heaven, and he on the' attorney,Till sometimes, in short, 'twixt his duns and his dears, dare say, That 'tis debt or the Cholera drives me away, As a pestilence, nobody, now-a-days, fears; And the fact is, my love, I'm thus bolting, pellmell, To get out of the way of these horrid new This deluge of coronets, frightful to think of, No shelter from Barons, from Earls no protection, As plenty as frogs in a Dutch inundation; Two legs and a coronet all they consist of! (My particular friend) says is perfectly true, N. B.-Have just pack'd up my travelling set-out, Good for hands that the air of Mont Cenis might Small presents for ladies,—and nothing so wheedles A young gentleman risks being stopp'd in his With some little book about heathen mythology, journey. Just large enough to refresh one's theology; 3 A new creation of Peers was generally expected at this time. Nothing on earth being half such a bore as Floras. Once more, love, farewell, best regards to the girls, And mind you beware of damp feet and new Earls. HENRY. By breaking thus young donkies in TRIUMPH OF BIGOTRY. "COLLEGE.- -We announced, in our last, that Lefroy and Shaw were returned. They were chaired yesterday; the Students of the College determined, it would seem, to imitate the mob in all things, harnessing themselves to the car, and the Masters of Arts bearing Orange flags and bludgeons before, beside, and behind the car." Dublin Evening Post, Dec. 20. 1832. Ay, yoke ye to the bigots' car, Oh shade of Goldsmith, shade of Swift, As aliens to her foggy shore; - 1 Whose very name her shame recalls; Whose effigy her bigot crew Revers'd upon their monkish walls,-2 Bear witness (lest the world should doubt) To your mute Mother's dull renown, Then famous but for Wit turn'd out, And Eloquence turn'd upside down; But now ordain'd new wreaths to win, Beyond all fame of former days, TRANSLATION FROM THE GULL LANGUAGE. Scripta manet. 3 1833. "Twas grav'd on the Stone of Destiny, 9 In letters four, and letters three; And ne'er did the King of the Gulls go by But those awful letters scar'd his eye; For he knew that a Prophet Voice had said, "As long as those words by man were read, "The ancient race of the Gulls should ne'er "One hour of peace or plenty share." But years on years successive flew, And the letters still more legible grew,— At top, a T, an H, an E, And underneath, D. E. B. T. See the lives of these two poets for the circumstances under which they left Dublin College. 2 In the year 1799, the Board of Trinity College, Dublin, thought proper, as a mode of expressing their disapprobation of Mr. Grattan's public conduct, to order his portrait, in the Great Hall of the University, to be turned upside down, and in this position it remained for some time. 3 Liafail, or the Stone of Destiny, for which, see Westminster Abbey. |