kind!

What a void in the world would their art leave behind!

Their ovens their pots, that can soften old ganders, All vanish'd for ever- their miracles o'er,

And the Marmite Perpétuelle 1 bubbling no more! Forbid it, forbid it, ye Holy Allies!

While St. DENYS hangs out o'er some hatter of ton,

And possessing, good bishop, no head of his own,5 Takes an int'rest in Dandies, who've got―next to

none !

money

But leave them, oh leave them, their Perigueux pies, Their glorious goose-livers, and high pickled tunny! 2

Though many, I own, are the evils they've brought

us,

Though Royalty's here on her very last legs, Yet, who can help loving the land that has taught us Six hundred and eighty-five ways to dress eggs? 3

You see, DICK, in spite of their cries of "God-dam," "Coquin Anglais," et cæt'ra-how gen'rous I am! And now (to return, once again, to my "Day," Which will take us all night to get through in this way,)

wish

Just to flirt with a luncheon, (a devilish bad trick,
As it takes off the bloom of one's appetite, DICK,)
To the Passage des—what d'ye call't-des Pano-
ramas 6

We quicken our pace, and there heartily cram as
Seducing young pâtés, as ever could cozen
One out of one's appetite, down by the dozen.
We vary, of course—petits pâtés do one day,
The next we've our lunch with the Gaufrier Hol-
landais, 7

That popular artist, who brings out, like Sc―TT,
His delightful productions so quick, hot and hot;
Not the worse for the exquisite comment that fol-
lows,-

street,

Crack jokes on the natives-mine, all very neatLeave the Signs of the Times to political fops, And find twice as much fun in the Signs of the Shops;

Here, a Louis Dix-huit-there, a Martinmas goose, (Much in vogue since your eagles are gone out of use)

Henri Quatres in shoals, and of Gods a great many, But Saints are the most on hard duty of any :St. TONY, who us'd all temptations to spurn,

lows!

Once more, then, we saunter forth after our snack, or Subscribe a few francs for the price of a fiacre, And drive far away to the old Montagnes Russes, Where we find a few twirls in the car of much use To regen'rate the hunger and thirst of us sinners, Who've laps'd into snacks-the perdition of dinners. And here, DICK—in answer to one of your queries, About which we, Gourmands, have had much discussion

her

Holy mouchoir o'er the door of some milliner ;

1" Cette merveilleuse Marmite Perpétuelle, sur le feu depuis près d'un siècle ; qui a donné le jour à plus de 300,000 chapons."-Alman. de Gourmands, Quatrième Année, p. 152. 2 Le thon mariné, one of the most favourite and indigestible hors-d'œuvres. This fish is taken chiefly in the Golfe de Lyon. "La tête et le dessous du ventre sont les parties les plus recherchées des gourmets."- Cours Gastronomique, p. 252.

3 The exact number mentioned by M. de lay Reynière "On connoit en France 685 manières différentes d'accommoder les œufs ; sans compter celles que nos savans imaginent chaque jour."

4 Veronica, the Saint of the Holy Handkerchief, is also, under the name of Venisse or Venecia, the tutelary saint of milliners.

> St. Denys walked three miles after his head was cut off. The mot of a woman of wit upon this legend is well known:

Ruggieri's,

And think, for digestion, there's none like the Russian;

__" Je le crois bien; en pareil cas, il n'y a que le premier pas qui coute.”

6 Off the Boulevards Italiens.

7 In the Palais Royal; successor, I believe, to the Flamand, so long celebrated for the moëlleur of his Gaufres.

8 Doctor Cotterel recommends, for this purpose, the Beaujon or French Mountains, and calls them "une médicine aérienne, couleur de rose;" but I own I prefer the authority of Mr. Bob, who seems, from the following note found in his own hand-writing, to have studied all these mountains very carefully:Memoranda - The Swiss little notice deserves, While the fall at Ruggieri's is death to weak nerves ; And (whate'er Doctor Cott'rel may write on the question) The turn at the Beaujon's too sharp for digestion.

I doubt whether Mr. Bob is quite correct in accenting the second syllable of Ruggieri.

Of Discord here full riot ran,

He, like the rest, was guillotin'd ;

But that when, under BONEY's reign,

(A more discreet, though quite as strong one,) The heads were all restor'd again,

He, in the scramble, got a wrong one. Accordingly, he still cries out

This strange head fits him most unpleasantly; And always runs, poor devil, about, Inquiring for his own incessantly!

While to his case a tear I dropt,

And saunter'd home, thought I—ye Gods! How many heads might thus be swopp'd,

And, after all, not make much odds!
For instance, there's V- -S-TT-T's head-
("Tam carum 2" it may well be said)
If by some curious chance it came

To settle on BILL SOAMES's shoulders,
The' effect would turn out much the same
On all respectable cash-holders:
Except that while, in its new socket,

The head was planning schemes to win
A zig-zag way into one's pocket,

The hands would plunge directly in.

'Twixt sleep and waking, one by one,

With various pericraniums saddled, At last I tried your Lordship's on,

And then I grew completely addledForgot all other heads, od rot 'em!

And slept, and dreamt that I was- - BOTTOM.

Aug. 21.

Walk'd out with daughter BID-was shown
The house of Commons, and the Throne,
Whose velvet cushion's just the same +
NAPOLEON sat on-what a shame!
Oh, can we wonder, best of speechers,
When LOUIS seated thus we see,
That France's "fundamental features"

Are much the same they us'd to be?
However,-God preserve the Throne,
And cushion too-and keep them free
From accidents, which have been known
To happen ev'n to Royalty !5

Aug. 28.

Read, at a stall (for oft one pops
On something at these stalls and shops,
That does to quote, and gives one's Book
A classical and knowing look. —
Indeed I've found, in Latin, lately,
A course of stalls improves me greatly)—
'Twas thus I read, that, in the East,

A monarch's fat's a serious matter;

And once in ev'ry year, at least,

He's weigh'd-to see if he gets fatter: 6 Then, if a pound or two he be Increas'd, there's quite a jubilee !7

Suppose, my Lord- and far from me
To treat such things with levity—
But just suppose the R-G-T's weight
Were made thus an affair of state;
And, ev'ry sessions, at the close, –
'Stead of a speech, which, all can see, is
Heavy and dull enough, God knows-

We were to try how heavy he is.
Much would it glad all hearts to hear
That, while the Nation's Revenue
Loses so many pounds a year,

The Pe, God bless him! gains a few.

With bales of muslin, chintzes, spices,

I see the Easterns weigh their Kings;—

But, for the R-G-T, my advice is,

We should throw in much heavier things: For instance -'s quarto volumes,

But, bless the fools, they can't be serious, To say Lord S-DM-TH's like TIBERIUS! What! he, the Peer, that injures no man, Like that severe, blood-thirsty Roman!— 'Tis true, the Tyrant lent an ear to All sorts of spies - so doth the Peer, too. 'Tis true my Lord's Elect tell fibs, And deal in perjury—ditto TIB's. 'Tis true, the Tyrant screen'd and hid

Letters, that C-RTW--T's pen indites,

In which, with logical confusion,

The Major like a Minor writes,

And never comes to a Conclusion:Lord S-M-RS' pamphlet-or his head (Ah, that were worth its weight in lead!) Along with which we in may whip, sly,

The Speeches of Sir JOHN C-x H-PP-SLY;
That Baronet of many words,
Who loves so, in the House of Lords,
To whisper Bishops-and so nigh

Unto their wigs in whisp'ring goes,
That you may always know him by
A patch of powder on his nose!
If this wo'n't do, we in must cram
The "Reasons" of Lord B-CK-GH-M;
(A Book his Lordship means to write,

Entitled "Reasons for my Ratting :")
Or, should these prove too small and light,
His r -p's a host-we'll bundle that in!
And, still should all these masses fail
To turn the R-G-T's ponderous scale,

"Fatness, as well as a very large head, is considered, throughout India, as one of the most precious gifts of heaven. An enormous skull is absolutely revered, and the happy owner is looked up to as a superior being. To a Prince a joulter head is invaluable." —Oriental Field Sports.

1 Major Cartwright.

2 The name of the first worthy who set up the trade of informer at Rome (to whom our Olivers and Castleses ought to erect a statue) was Romanus Hispo; -"qui formam vitæ iniit, quam postea celebrem miseriæ temporum et audaciæ hominum fecerunt." -TACIT. Annal. i. 74.

3 They certainly possessed the same art of instigating their victims, which the Report of the Secret Committee attributes to Lord Sidmouth's agents: -"socius (says Tacitus of one

"Tis true the Peer is grave and glib

At moral speeches-ditto TIB. 5 'Tis true, the feats the Tyrant did Were in his dotage-ditto SID.

So far, I own, the parallel

'Twixt TIB and SID goes vastly well;
But there are points in TIB that strike
My humble mind as much more like
Yourself, my dearest Lord, or him,

Of the' India Board - that soul of whim!
Like him, TIBERIUS lov'd his joke,

On matters, too, where few can bear one; E. g. a man, cut up, or broke

Upon the wheel-a devilish fair one!
Your common fractures, wounds, and fits,
Are nothing to such wholesale wits;
But, let the suff'rer gasp for life,

of them) libidinum et necessitatum, quo pluribus indiciïs inligaret."

4" Neque tamen id Sereno noxæ fuit, quem odium publicum tutiorem faciebat. Nam ut quis districtior accusator velut sacrosanctus erat." — Annal. lib. iv. 36. Or, as it is translated by Mr. Fudge's friend, Murphy:-"This daring accuser had the curses of the people, and the protection of the Emperor. Informers, in proportion as they rose in guilt, became sacred characters."

5 Murphy even confers upon one of his speeches the epithet "constitutional." Mr. Fudge might have added to his parallel, that Tiberius was a good private character: —“ egregium vitâ famâque quoad privatus."

6" Ludibria scriis permiscere solitus."

Ne'er can hope for peace or quiet!
What's to be done? - Spa-Fields was clever;
But even that brought gibes and mockings
Upon our heads- so, mem.—must never

Keep ammunition in old stockings;
For fear some wag should in his curst head
Take it to say our force was worsted.
Mem. too-when SID an army raises,
It must not be "incog." like Bayes's:
Nor must the General be a hobbling
Professor of the art of cobbling;
Lest men, who perpetrate such puns,
Should say, with Jacobinic grin,
He felt, from soleing Wellingtons, 2
A Wellington's great soul within!
Nor must an old Apothecary

Go take the Tower, for lack of pence,
With (what these wags would call, so merry,)
Physical force and phial-ence!
No-no-our Plot, my Lord, must be
Next time contriv'd more skilfully.
John Bull, I grieve to say, is growing
So troublesomely sharp and knowing,
So wise-in short, so Jacobin-
"Tis monstrous hard to take him in.

Sept. 6.

Heard of the fate of our Ambassador
In China, and was sorely nettled;
But think, my Lord, we should not pass it o'er
Till all this matter's fairly settled;

1 There is one point of resemblance between Tiberius and Lord C. which Mr. Fudge might have mentioned — “ suspensa semper et obscura verba."

2 Short boots, so called.

And here's the mode occurs to me:-
As none of our Nobility,

Though for their own most gracious King
(They would kiss hands, or-any thing),
Can be persuaded to go through
This farce-like trick of the Ko-tou;
And as these Mandarins wo'n't bend,
Without some mumming exhibition,
Suppose, my Lord, you were to send
GRIMALDI to them on a mission:
As Legate, JOE could play his part,
And if, in diplomatic art,

The "volto sciolto "3's meritorious,
Let JOE but grin, he has it, glorious!
A title for him's easily made;

And, by-the-by, one Christmas time,
If I remember right, he play'd

4

Lord MORLEY in some pantomime ;-
As Earl of M-RL-Y then gazette him,
If t'other Earl of M-RL-Y'll let him.
(And why should not the world be blest
With two such stars, for East and West?)
Then, when before the Yellow Screen

He's brought-and, sure, the very essence Of etiquette would be that scene

Of JOE in the Celestial Presence!He thus should say :- "Duke Ho and Soo, "I'll play what tricks you please for you, "If you'll, in turn, but do for me "A few small tricks you now shall see. "If I consult your Emperor's liking, "At least you'll do the same for my King." He then should give them nine such grins, As would astound ev'n Mandarins; And throw such somersets before

The picture of King GEORGE (God bless him!) As, should Duke Ho but try them o'er, Would, by CONFUCIUS, much distress him!

I start this merely as a hint,

But think you'll find some wisdom in't; And, should you follow up the job,

My son, my Lord (you know poor Boв),
Would in the suite be glad to go

And help his Excellency, JOE ;-
At least, like noble AMH-RST's son,
The lad will do to practise on."

field.

4 Mr. Fudge is a little mistaken here. It was not Gri

time or other, be given to the world.

5 See Mr. Ellis's account of the Embassy.