MER. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce. ROM. And is it not well served in to a sweet goose? MER. O, here's a wit of cheverel that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad! ROM. I stretch it out for that word-broad: which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose. MER. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature: for this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole. BEN. Stop there, stop there. MER. Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair. BEN. Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large. MER. O, thou art deceived, I would have made it short: for I was come to the whole depth of my tale: and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer. ROM. Here's goodly gear! Enter NURSE and PETER. MER. A sail, a sail, a sail! BEN. Two, two; a shirt, and a smock. NURSE. Peter! PET. Anon? NURSE. My fan, Peter. MER. Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan 's the fairer face. NURSE. God ye good morrow, gentlemen. MER. God ye good den, fair gentlewoman. NURSE. Is it good den? MER. "T is no less, I tell you; for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon. NURSE. Out upon you! what a man are you? ROM. One, gentlewoman, that God hath made himself to mar. NURSE. By my troth, it is well said;—For himself to mar, quoth 'a?-Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo? ROM. I can tell you; but young Romeo will be older when you have found him, than he was when you sought him: I am the youngest of that name, for 'fault of a worse. NURSE. You say well. MER. Yea, is the worst well? very well took, i' faith; wisely, wisely. NURSE. If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you. BEN. She will indict him to some supper. MER. A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho! ROM. What hast thou found? MER. No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent. An old hare hoar, And an old hare hoar, Is too much for a score, When it hoars ere it be spent. Romeo, will you come to your father's? we'll to dinner thither. ROM. I will follow you. MER. Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady. [Exeunt MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO. NURSE. Marry, farewell!-I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this, that was so full of his ropery? ROM. A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk; and will speak more in a minute, than he will stand to in a month. NURSE. An 'a speak anything against me, I'll take him down an 'a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates:And thou must stand by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure? PET. I saw no man use you at his pleasure: if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side. NURSE. Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!-Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bade me inquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing. ROM. Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee, NURSE. Good heart! and, i' faith, I will tell her as much: Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman. me. ROM. What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost not mark NURSE. I will tell her, sir,-that you do protest; which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer. ROM. Bid her devise some means to come to shrift This afternoon; And there she shall at friar Laurence' cell Be shriv'd, and married. Here is for thy pains. ROM. Go to; I say, you shall. NURSE. This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there. Within this hour my man shall be with thee; you, NURSE. Now God in heaven bless thee!-Hark Two may keep counsel, putting one away? ROM. I warrant thee; my man's as true as steel. sir. NURSE. Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady-Lord, Lord!—when 't was a little prating thing,-0, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lieve see a toad, a very toad, as see as him. I anger her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man; but, I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks pale as any clout in the varsal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter? ROм. Ay, nurse; What of that? both with an R. NURSE. Ah, mocker! that 's the dog's name. R is for the dog. No; I know it begins with some other letter: and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it. ROM. Commend me to thy lady. NURSE. Ay, a thousand times.-Peter! PET. Anon? NURSE. Before, and apace. SCENE V.-Capulet's Garden. Enter JULIET. [Exit. [Exeunt. JUL. The clock struck nine, when I did send the nurse; In half an hour she promis'd to return. Perchance, she cannot meet him:-that's not so.— Of this day's journey; and from nine till twelve My words would bandy her to my sweet love, But old folks, many feign as they were dead; Enter NURSE and PETER. O God, she comes!-O honey nurse, what news? [Exit PETER JUL. Now, good sweet nurse,-O Lord! why look'st thou sad? Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily; If good, thou sham'st the music of sweet news NURSE. I am aweary, give me leave a while;— JUL. How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath To say to me- -that thou art out of breath? The excuse that thou dost make in this delay Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse. Is thy news good, or bad? answer to that; NURSE. Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man: Romeo! no, not he; though his face be better than any man's, yet his leg excels all men's; and for a hand, and a foot, and a body,—though they be not to be talked on, yet they are past compare: He is not the flower of courtesy, but, I'll warrant him, as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways, wench; serve God.-What, have you dined at home? JUL. No, no: But all this did I know before; What says he of our marriage? what of that? NURSE. Lord, how my head aches! what a head have I! It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces. My back o' t' other side,-O, my back, my back!— Beshrew your heart, for sending me about, To catch my death with jaunting up and down! JUL. I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well: |