think fit. In this endeavour, I conceive myself called to be very diligent, seeing my heart to be too much engaged and entangled with them, or tempted so to be; that if the Lord should be pleased to remove any of these from me, or me from them, I might quietly and contentedly submit, and agree to his blessed will. Another reason is, that I conceive I have not long to enjoy them, but either I am to be removed from them, or they from me; and that this time is given me of the Lord, to prepare for such a case.

My wife being brought to bed of a son, I was a little straitened about the baptizing of him; at last, after seeking God in the matter, I resolved to have him baptized in the ordinary manner, if I could find any godly minister, (though he were of the Presbyterian judgment,) that would perform the duty in a private manner, and would give me liberty, at the doing of it, to declare, that it was not my desire to have my son baptized upon any other account, than as a member of the catholic or universal church; seeing I do not believe that, in the Holy Scriptures, there is any warrant for constituting gospel churches in a national way. After conference with Mr. John Sinclair, minister of Ormston, about this point, I found him clear on that point,—that baptism was no constituting ordinance; and that he could very freely baptize my child, on that same account which I desired, as a member of the catholic church, seeing he knew my judgment to be against the national way of constitution.

Thus I resolved, for the present, for peace sake; I not being a member of any gathered church, and at a distance from those Christians, with whom formerly I walked in fellowship at Aberdeen, (which, if I could

H

have enjoyed, I should have thought it my duty rather to have chosen it, than any other ;)-[and this was done,] that I might give an evidence to the godly men of the Presbyterian way, of my willingness to live peaceably and in love with them, partaking with them in all duties, so far as I may do it without sin; though in the matter of their constitution and form of government I differ from them.

The 12th day being appointed by the said Mr. John Sinclair and me, for his coming to Newbattle to baptize the said child, when he came, he was unwilling that I should make any such declaration. He alleged, that if I should speak this publicly, it would occasion the Presbytery to trouble him, and therefore besought me to forbear. I having, a long time before that, thought of the matter, concluded, that without some such expression in public, at the time of baptizing the child, I could not admit the doing of it by any of the national church. Whereupon he moved, that some other might present the child, to which I yielded, being loath to be the occasion of his trouble; so, Robert Porteous the younger, bailie [or alderman] of Newbattle, presented the child, the 12th of May, 1657; his name being Thomas, after my dear brother that was killed at Dunbar.

What the Lord's purpose to me in this may be, I desire to observe,-that, these six years by-gone, the opportunity of presenting any of my children to receive that ordinance, hath been denied me, sometimes by my absence, either in London or Edinburgh; only, at this time, I was in the place, and yet could not be present at that action, as aforesaid.

CHAPTER VIII.

1657: OBSERVATIONS ON MATTHEW XII. 43, &c.-ENCOURAGEMENT FROM CERTAIN PORTIONS OF HOLY WRIT-PROSPERITY AND ADVERSITY-ALEXANDER JAFFRAY ENGAGES HIMSELF AFRESH UNTO THE LORD-HIS DESIRES IN PRAYER ON BEHALF OF SOME AT ABERDEEN-HE MEETS WITH AN ACCIDENT-UPRIGHTNESS IN KEEPING FROM INIQUITY-JOURNEY TO ABERDEEN-HE NOTICES SOME UNWATCHFULNESS-THE ILLNESS OF HIS SON 'ANDREW-HE REMOVES HIS RESIDENCE TO ABBEY HILL-VOWS AND PROMISES ARE VAIN, WITHOUT STRIVING AGAINST SIN-1658: COMFORT FROM SOME SCRIPTURESHE IS INSNARED IN TEMPTATION. THE DEATH OF HIS SON JOHN-HE RECOUNTS THE MANIFOLD MERCIES DEALT OUT TO HIM-THE BIRTH OF TWIN

CHILDREN-ON CONFORMITY.

is

It is said in Matt. xii. 43,-When the unclean spirit gone out of a man, he seeks rest and finds none; that is to say, he has no pleasure so much to be in any place as in that heart, out of which he has been once removed or cast out; and therefore his endeavour is. by all means, to be in there again. And finding the room, since his removal, not washed and thoroughly purged as it should have been, (see Jer. iv. 14,) but only emptied, swept, and garnished, as the word there is, that is to say, all outward scandalous sins are abstained from, and duties diligently practised,—the house is emptied of the one, and well swept and garnished with the other, but there is no inward purging and washing out of "vain thoughts" and the like,I say, when the poor heart's case is thus very well in its own estimation; yet, now is it in no less hazard than that of being, on Satan's re-entrance, made worse than before. O let us then be careful, if Satan be not out, to get him out; and if he be gone, to keep

him out. And, if I be not mistaken greatly in my experience, there will be much more work for thee to do, to keep him out, than there was at first to put him out. For sometimes at first, he will remove with consent, intending to return with advantage; then brings he with him, seven worse devils than himself. But, being out, if thou strive to keep him so, by closing doors on him, and opening them to Christ, he will then be on thee as a lion, to tear and rend thee to pieces.

case.

The truth of this, though it hath formerly been made out to me in my experience, yet never so, as at this present time; Satan having, now for some years, been without doors with me, as to the practice of any open or scandalous sin; and finding, upon his return, the house of my heart in some good measure adorned with public, private, and secret duties, O how he is endeavouring now again to enter!— and woe to me, if he do! This day, the 16th of May, was set apart for the purpose of suing help in this So strong and mighty an adversary have I to do with, that it is of the Lord's admirable goodness, I am not utterly run down and undone before him. I find that Scripture, Ephes. vi. 12, made well out unto me, "We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." There is, indeed, a mighty enemy; but we have an almighty Lord against him, who hath already, on our behalf, wholly routed and subdued him; he, having led captivity captive, hath ascended on high, Psal. lxviii. 18, and there he hath all power in heaven and earth given to him, Matt. xxviii. 18; so that now, the serpent's

head being broken, he can only but bruise our heel. He will not leave off, still, to be about our heels, and at our right hand to resist us; but our Lord will rebuke him, Zech. iii. 1, 2; for, we have not a High Priest, which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin, Heb. iv. 15; and, in that he suffered, being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted, chap. ii. 18. chap. ii. 18. Let us, therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need, chap. iv. 16.

But Satan, not willing so to give over his hope of reentrance in the heart, hath made on me more furious assaults than ever; taking most advantage now, where he is not a little strengthened against me, by his knowledge of my temper and frame of natural constitution. Most frequent and furious are his temptations, and more than formerly, where he finds my temper and natural disposition to be most inclined. But my Lord, who can bring light out of darkness, and meat out of the eater, Judges, xiv. 14, I trust, is to give me, ere it be long, a blessed advantage, by drawing me the more close and near home, to himself. Blessed be my Lord! my hope was this day confirmed, that it will be so; and the desires and stirrings up my soul were renewed to follow hard after him, as I might attain to. Psal. Ixiii. 8, 9, "My soul followeth hard after thee, thy right hand upholdeth me; but those that seek my soul to destroy it, shall go to the lowest parts of the earth," that is, to the lowest hell. O, when shall that unclean spirit be bound, and cast into that bottomless pit, and shut up there, that he may deceive the nations no more! Rev. xx. 2, 3.

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