mitting him the use of it, yet he keeps it as it were without doors, that he may keep Christ the closer within. Not as though Christ and this lawful pleasure, might not be both enjoyed together;-for he gives us large allowance even in these things, (see Neh. viii. 10.) and, as is there signified, the comfortable use of them is sometimes much for the advantage of believers; but,-in order to the preparing his heart to live without all these things,-is he often denying himself, and forecasting [the loss of them,] especially of those which he finds his heart to dote upon, or where he has cause to fear this.

Another way whereby a believer may be exercised in bearing the cross daily, though actually he be under no visible cross for the present, is,—when he rightly reflects upon past corrections and warnings, how he hath sometimes mistaken what such a dispensation did speak to him. It may be, when he considers of it again, with all the observable circumstances both of mercy and judgment, he shall now find the mind of God more clearly made known to him [in it,] and much matter of humiliation for his dulness, sloth, and negligence;-also much occasion to admire God's goodness, who yet continues to spare him, notwithstanding his so frequent mistaking, and so unanswerable walking to these dispensations. For when the Lord points at some fault, which he wills thee to amend; and advertises thee of this, by some messenger of peace,-some act of mercy and goodness beyond thy expectation, or some messenger of his anger, the voice of his rod, which speaks to the man of wisdom, Mic. vi. 9; I say,-when thou considerest, that thus the Lord deals with thee; and yet, thou seest not, or mindest not-this is no small

aggravation of sin. And what matter of praise and admiration will be here,-that thou hast yet an opportunity offered thee to mend! When the heart is enlarged to this purpose by the hand of God, there will be matter of sanctified exercise, which Christ will as acceptably account of, as bearing any cross whatsoever.

A third, and special way, in which a gracious heart, that has no external want or cross upon him, may yet be daily under sad and heavy exercise of the cross, [is this.]-Suppose thy condition be such, as that thou enjoyest all earthly things at thy will; yet, as the Apostle says, 1 Cor. xv. 19, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, of all men we are most miserable," so, I may say, if thou be satisfied with what thou hast of these things, sad is thy cross, though thou knowest it not. But, I suppose, thou be one of those, that count the enjoying of a blink of Christ's face worth all these things, and his withdrawing or hiding of himself but a little, to be a more sad affliction to thee than the want of any of these things could possibly be. If Abraham could say, Gen. xv. 2, that while he wanted a child, he counted little else that God could give him; how much more mayst thou say so, if thou go Christ-less, what hast thou? [Here some parts of the manuscript are omitted, being chiefly reflections on Rom. vii. 24, and an allusion to the case of Hezekiah, 2 Chron. xxxii. 26.]

The 24th day of February, 1657, I was advertised by my wife, of a sore and sudden illness that had overtaken my child Andrew; the like unto which had formerly overtaken my daughter Margaret, of which she died unexpectedly in two days' sickness. This circumstance did affright her sore, and make her ap

prehend danger of present death; yet the Lord was pleased, the next morning, to refresh me with good news of the child's being better:-I, having sought it of the Lord, must acknowledge it a new mercy and return of prayer.-Upon the consideration of it, I conceive myself obliged to endeavour, for myself and my wife, to have our hearts more loosened from our misplaced affection to that child in particular; so that, if the Lord shall remove him, we may with contentment submit;-which, for the present, I clearly perceive, neither I nor she are so well fitted for as we should be. Also further-to consider more, what the meaning of that Scripture is, Jer. x. 24, "O Lord, correct me, but with judgment, not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing."

Having for many days put up some desires to the Lord, on behalf of his people and work, I was this day, 10th of April, 1657, convinced, that my way was but very slight and formal; and that the consideration of the work of God, and his people's condition at this time, hath been but very superficially looked on by me. Therefore was I some way desirous, to be humbled before the Lord for my former neglect, and my not observing what the Lord is about, in these times; and what he is so wonderfully working, by such contrary means to those we had proposed, as the way for carrying on his work. That Scripture came to my mind, Jer. xlv. 2 to 5. May not the Lord be said, in these days, to be breaking down what formerly he had builded, and plucking up what he had planted; and yet, for the most part, how senseless are his people! But let my thoughts be confined rather to myself; for, if I may presume to be counted among the Lord's people, sure I am, there

hath been none, who hath had any measure of light or impression from the Lord of these things, that have proved more lifeless, formal, and negligent, as to a right minding of the concernment of the Lord and his people. What a sad matter is it, for the Lord's people, in such a time, not only to be in darkness as to their duty, but so far deserted, as they have been for a long time, and unfitted to carry on what remains to be done of the Lord's work, that they are generally inclining to sit down and be satisfied with what they have. Yea, (which is worse,-if worse may be,) are there not many of the servants of Christ, who have been eminently carried forth to be glorious instruments in bringing forward the work to this length; but who are clearly turning back again, and ready to sit down upon the things of a present world, so as to be in hazard of being bewitched by these?— or, if not, are they not generally seeking to sit down upon the dawnings [only,] of the morning light? While as, Jesus Christ, like the sun in his brightness, is mounting up, and calling them to follow on, unto the perfect day;-until his enemies be altogether made his footstool, and the earth be filled with the glory of the Lord, as is promised in Numbers, xiv. 21. Yea, (which is yet more sad,-if any thing can so be said to be,) does not this appear very dreadful in their condition ?-that, while many of them are thus deserted, others, who profess they would be furtherwards, in carrying on what remains to be done, are [themselves] so deserted and forsaken of the Lord, (as to the knowledge of his mind about the right way of prosecuting what may be their duty, and that which they would so far be about,)-that they are [even] in close opposition and contrary terms

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one to another, bitterly persecuting and like to beat one another. And yet, their contending is about trifles, or matters disputable,-matters in which, though they differed, they might well allow charity one to another, and sweetly carry on the work together, but that the Spirit of the Lord is departed from them:-this is a circumstance aggravating their distraction, and the miserable evils of it; so that it may be said, "The princes of Zoan are become fools," Isai. xix. 13;-but the sun is gone down over the prophets, and the day is dark unto them. Micah iii. 6.

Yet, in this sad apprehension of the present condition of things, there was matter for me to be comforted, [even] in this,-that, out of such darkness, our Lord can bring light; and not only that he can, but also that he will do it. And though this dark, deserted condition doth speak out much cause for lamentation and woe unto us; because of the influence, which, doubtless, our sins have had in occasioning this,-(and well were it for that man who is rightly affected, laying it to heart;) yet all this, ought not to lead to the discouragement of any, or the fainting of their confidence in the truth of what is promised that Jerusalem shall be made the praise of the earth, and that this is the time when the Lord is about to do it. Yea,-(which is observable, if I mistake not the Scriptures,)-this, the deserted and dark condition of the godly, may be warrantably a ground, on which they may conclude, the time of their deliverance and redemption draws near. So Christ saith, Luke, chap. xxi. When these things begin to come to pass, then look up and lift up your heads, for your redemption draweth near." Consider,

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