Billeder på siden
PDF
ePub

And my wish is, in truth, that the best of old I am proud to declare I have no predilections, 3 fellows

My heart is a sieve, where some scatter'd affections Should not, on recovering, have cause to be jealous, Are just danc'd about for a moment or two, But find that, while he has been laid on the shelf, And the finer they are, the more sure to run We've been all of us nearly as mad as himself.

through: You smile at my hopes — but the Doctors and I, Neither feel I resentments, nor wish there should Are the last that can think the K-ng ever will die.'

come ill

To mortal — except (now I think on't) Beau A new era's arriv'd?, - though you'd hardly Br-mm-1 believe it

Who threaten'd last year, in a superfine passion, And all things, of course, must be new to receive it. To cut me, and bring the old Kếng into fashion. New villas, new fêtes (which ev'n Waithman at- This is all I can lay to my conscience at present; tends)—

When such is my temper, so neutral, so pleasant, New saddles, new helmets, and — why not new So royally free from all troublesome feelings, friends ?

So little encumber'd by faith in my dealings
(And that I'm consistent the world will allow,

What I was at Newmarket the same I am now).
I repeat it, “ New Friends -for I cannot describe When such are my merits (you know I hate crack-
The delight I am in with this P-rc-v-1 tribe. ing),
Such capering!-- Such vapouring !-- Such rigour! I hope, like the Vender of Best Patent Blacking,
- Such vigour!

“ To meet with the gen’rous and kind approbation North, South, East, and West, they have cut such“ Of a candid, enlightend, and liberal nation.”

a figure, That soon they will bring the whole world round By the bye, ere I close this magnificent Letter,

(No man, except Pole, could have writ you a AI leave us no friends—but Old Nick ar Algiers. better,)

”Twould please me if those, whom I've humbug'd When I think of the glory they've beam'd on so long my chains,

With the notion (good men !) that I knew right ”Tis enough quite to turn my illustrious brains. It is true we are bankrupts in commerce and riches, Would a few of them join me -mind, only a few But think how we find our Allies in new breeches! To let too much light in on me never would do; We've lost the warm hearts of the Irish, 'tis granted, But even Grey's brightness shan't make me afraid, But then we've got Java, an island much wanted, While I've C-md-n and Eld-n to fly to for To put the last lingering few who remain,

shade; Of the Walcheren warriors, out of their pain. Nor will Holland's clear intellect do us much harm, Then how Wellington fights! and how squabbles While there's W-stm-rel-nd near him to his brother!

weaken the charm. For Papists the one, and with Papists the other; As for Moira's high spirit, if aught can subdue it, One crushing Napoleon by taking a City, Sure joining with H-rtf—rd and Y-rm—th will While t’other lays waste a whole Cath’lic Com

do it! mittee.

Between R-d-r and Wh-rt-n let Sheridan sit, Oh deeds of renown!- shall I boggle or flinch, And the fogs will soon quench even Sheridan's wit: With such prospects before me? by Jove, not an And against all the pure public feeling that glows inch.

Evin in Whitbread himself we've a Host in G-rge No-let England's affairs go to rack, if they will, R-se! We'll look after th' affairs of the Continent still ; So, in short, if they wish to have Places, they And, with notbing at home but starvation and riot,

may, Find Lisbon in bread, and keep Sicily quiet. And I'll thank you to tell all these matters to Grey',

our ears,

[ocr errors]

from wrong

I certainly am the last person in the kingdom to whom it can be permitted to despair of our royal father's recovery." - Prince's Letter.

? " A new era is now arrived, and I cannot but reflect with satisfaction," &c. Ibid.

4" I cannot conclude without expressing the gratification I should feel if some of those persons with whom the early habits of my public life were formed would strengthen my hands, and constitute a part of my government." - Ibid.

3. " I have no predilections to indulge, - no resentments to gratify.” Ibid.

$ “ You are authorized to communicate these sentiments to Lord Grey, who, I have no doubt, will make them known to Lord Grenville." - Ibid.

[blocks in formation]

Ranging these in order due, Pluck me next an old Cuckoo; Emblem of the happy fates Of easy, kind, cornuted mates. Pluck him well — be sure you doWho wouldn't be an old Cuckoo, Thus to have his plumage blest, Beaming on a R-y-1 crest?

Bravo, Plumist!--now what bird Shall we find for Plume the third ? You must get a learned Owl, Bleakest of black-letter fowl, Bigot bird, that hates the light, 3 Foe to all that's fair and bright. Seize his quills, (so form'd to pen Books “, that shun the search of men ;

Thursday. At Levee to-day made another sad blunder What can be come over me lately, I wonder ? The Pr-ce was as cheerful, as if, all his life, He had never been troubled with Friends or a

Wife “ Fine weather,” says he — to which I, who must

prate, Answered, “ Yes, Sir, but changeable rather, of late.” He took it, I fear, for he look'd somewhat gruff, And handled his new pair of whiskers so rough, That before all the courtiers I fear'd they'd come

off, And then, Lord, how Geramb 6 would triumph

I" I shall send a copy of this letter immediately to Mr. Perceval." – Prince's Letter. * See Prior's poem, entitled “ The Dove." 3 P-re-1-1

antly scoff!

4 In allusion to “ the Book " which created such a sens. ation at that period.

5 The incog. vehicle of the Pr-ce.
6 Baron Geramb, the rival of his R. H. in whiskers.

Mem. — to buy for son Dicky some unguentor lotion Cried aloud, one and all, “ Come, your Godships To nourish his whiskers-sure road to promotion !! must pack

“ You'll not do for us, though you may do for Saturday.

Kings."
Last night a Concert — vastly gay-
Given by Lady C-sl-r-gh.

Then, trampling these images under their feet, My Lord loves music, and, we know,

They sent Crack a petition, beginning “ Great Has “two strings always to his bow." 2

Cæsar! In choosing songs, the R—g-t nam'd “ We're willing to worship; but only entreat Had I a heart for falsehood fram’d.

“ That you'll find us some decenter Godheads While gentle H—rtf—d begg'd and pray'd

than these are." For “ Young I am, and sore afraid.

“ I'll try,” says King Crack — so they furnish'd

him models Of better shap'd Gods, but he sent them all

back; EPIGRAM.

Some were chisellid too fine, some had heads 'stead

of noddles, What news to-day?- Oh! worse and worse —

In short, they were all much too godlike for

Crack.
“ Mac 3 is the Pr—ce's Privy Purse!".
The Pr-ce's Purse! no, no, you fool,
You mean the Pr-ce's Ridicule.

So he took to his darling old Idols again,
And, just mending their legs and new bronzing

their faces,
In open defiance of Gods and of man,
Set the sters up grinning once in their

places. KING CRACK 4 AND HIS IDOLS.

[blocks in formation]

King Crack was the best of all possible Kings,
(At least, so his Courtiers would swear to you

WHAT'S MY THOUGHT LIKE ? gladly,) But Crack now and then would do het’rodox things, Quest

. Why is a Pump like V-sc-nt C—stl— And, at last, took to worshipping Images sadly.

r-gh? Some broken-down Idols, that long had been placa Answ. Because it is a slender thing of wood,

That and down its awkward arm doth sway, In his father's old Cabinet, pleas’d him so much,

And coolly spout and spout and spout away, That he knelt down and worshipp'd, though — such

In one weak, washy, everlasting flood! was his taste!They were monstrous to look at, and rotten to

touch.

up

And these were the beautiful Gods of King

Crack! -
But his People, disdaining to worship such things,

| England is not the only country where merit of this kind is noticed and rewarded. " I remember," says Tavernier, " to have seen one of the King of Persia's porters, whose mustaches were so long that he could tie them behind his neck, for which reason he had a double pension."

2. A rhetorical figure used by Lord C-sl-r-gh, in one of his speeches.

3 Colonel M-cm-h-n.

4 One of those antediluvian Princes, with whom Manetho and Whiskon seem so intimately acquainted. If we had the Memoirs of Thoth, from which Manetho coinpiled his History, we should find, I dare say, that Crack was only a Regent, and that he, perhaps, succeeded Typhon, who (as Whiston says) was the last King of the Antedılurian Dynasty.

[blocks in formation]

AND HIS R-Y-L-GHNSS THE D-E OF

C-B-L-D.

Next, our C—stl—r-gh to crown,
Bring me from the County Down,
Wither'd Shamrocks, which have been
Gilded o'er, to hide the green
(Such as H—dfết brought away
From Pall- Mall last Patrick's days)—
Stitch the garland through and through
With shabby threads of every hue;
And as, Goddess!— entre nous
His lordship loves (though best of men)
A little torture, now and then,
Crimp the leaves, thou first of Syrens,
Crimp them with thy curling-irons.

[ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

That's enough-away, away —
Had I leisure, I could say
How the oldest rose that grows
Must be pluck'd to deck Old Rose-
How the Doctor's 4 brow should smile
Crown'd with wreaths of camomile.
But time presses — to thy taste
I leave the rest, so, prithee, haste!

AN ANACREONTIC.

HITHER, Flora, Queen of Flowers!
Haste thee from Old Brompton's bowers –
Or, (if sweeter that abode)
From the King's well-odour'd Road,
Where each little nursery bud
Breathes the dust and quaffs the mud.
Hither come and gaily twine
Brightest herbs and flowers of thine
Into wreaths for those, who rule us,
Those, who rule and (some say) fool us-
Flora, sure, will love to please
England's Household Deities ! 2

EPIGRAM.

DIALOGUE BETWEEN A DOWAGER AND HER MAID

ON THE NIGHT OF LORD Y-RM—TH'S FÊTE.

First you must then, willy-nilly,
Fetch me many an orange lily-
Orange of the darkest dye
Irish G-ff—rd can supply ; -
Choose me out the longest sprig,
And stick it in old Eld-n's wig.

“I want the Court Guide," said my lady, “to look “ If the House, Seymour Place, be at 30. or

20.”— “ We've lost the Court Guide, Ma'am, but here's

the Red Book, Where you'll find, I dare say, Seymour Places

in plenty!"

HORACE, ODE XI. LIB. II.
FREELY TRANSLATED BY THE PR-CE R-G-1.5

Find me next a Poppy posy,
Type of his harangues so dozy,
Garland gaudy, dull and cool,
To crown the head of L-v-rp-1.
"Twill console his brilliant brows
For that loss of laurel boughs,
Which they suffer'd (what a pity!)
On the road to Paris City.

6 COME, Y-rm—th, my boy, never trouble your

brains,
About what your old crony,

The Emperor Boney,
Is doing or brewing on Muscovy's plains ;

1 Edward Byrne, the head of the Delegates of the Irish 4 The sobriquet given to Lord Sidmouth. Catholics.

5 This and the following are extracted from a Work, 1 The ancients, in like manner, crowned their Lares, or which may, some time or other, meet the eye of the PublicHousehold Gods. See Juvenal, Sat. 9. iv. 138. — Plutarch, entitled “ Odes of Horace, done into English by several Perto, tells us that Household Gods were then, as they are now, sons of Fashion." ** mach given to War and penal Statutes."- igieuwdus xas ter usus dauunas.

Quid bellicosus Cantaber, et Scythes, Certain tinsel imitations of the Shamrock which are dis

Hirpine Quincti, cogitet, Hadria tributed by the Servants of C-n House every Pa

Divisus objecto, remittas trick's Day.

Quærere.

6

i Nor tremble, my lad, at the state of our granaries:

Should there come famine,

Still plenty to cram in You always shall have, my dear Lord of the

Stannaries.

While Otto of Roses

Refreshing all noses Shall sweetly exhale from our whiskers and wigs.

Brisk let us revel, while revel we may; 2 For the gay bloom of fifty soon passes away,

And then people get fat,

And infirm, and — all that, 3 And a wig (I confess it) so clumsily sits,

That it frightens the little Loves out of their wits;

9 What youth of the Household will cool our Noyau

In that streamlet delicious,
That down ʼmidst the dishes,
All full of gold fishes,

Romantic doth flow?-
10 Or who will repair

Unto M- -ch- Sq-e,
And see if the gentle Marchesa be there?

Go-bid her haste hither, " And let her bring with her The newest No-Popery Sermon that's going — 12 Oh! let her come, with her dark tresses flowing,

All gentle and juvenile, curly and gay,
In the manner of- Ackermann's Dresses for

May!

4 Thy whiskers, too, Y-rm-th!-alas, even they,

Though so rosy they burn,

Too quickly must turn (What a heart-breaking change for thy whis

kers!) to Grey.

5 Then why, my Lord Warden, oh! why should

you fidget Your mind about matters you don't understand? Or why should you write yourself down for an

idiot, Because “you,” forsooth,have the pen in

HORACE, ODE XXII. LIB. I.

FREELY TRANSLATED BY LORD ELD-N.

your hand !

13 The man who keeps a conscience pure,

(If not his own, at least his Prince's,) Through toil and danger walks secure,

Looks big and black, and never winces.

Think, think how much better
Than scribbling a letter,
(Which both you and I

Should avoid by the bye,) i How much pleasanter 'tis to sit under the bust Of old Charley 7, my friend here, and drink

like a new one; While Charley looks sulky and frowns at me, just As the Ghost in the Pantomime frowns at Dor

Juan.
8 To crown us, Lord Warden,

In C-mb-rl-nd's garden
Grows plenty of monk's hood in venomous sprigs:

14 No want has he of sword or dagger,

Cock'd hat or ringlets of Geramb; Though Peers may laugh, and Papists swagger,

He doesn't care one single d-mn.

15 Whether midst Irish chairmen going,

Or through St. Giles's alleys dim, 'Mid drunken Sheelahs, blasting, blowing,

No matter, 'tis all one to him.

1

2

10

3

11

[ocr errors][ocr errors]

13

Nec trepides in usum
Poscentis ævi pauca.

Fugit retro
Levis juventas et decor.
Pellente lascivos amores
Canitie.

Neque uno Luna rubens nitet
Vultu.

Quid æternis minorem

Consiliis animum fatigas ? 6 Cur non sub alta vel platano, vel hac

Pinu jacentes sic temere. 7 Charles Fox.

Rosa
Canos odorati capillos,

Dum licet, Assyriaque nardo
Potamus uncti.

Quis puer ocius

Restinguet ardentis Falerni

Pocula prætereunte lympha ?
Quis ... ... eliciet domo
Lyden ?

Eburna, dic age, cum lyra (qu. liar-a)

Maturet. 12

Incomtam Lacæne
More comam religata nodo.
Integer vitæ scelerisque purus.
Non eget Mauri jaculis, neque arcu,
Nec venenatis gravida sagittis,

Fusce, pharetra. 15

Sive per Syrtes iter æstuosas,
Sive facturus per inhospitalem
Caucasum, vel quæ loca fabulosus

Lambit Hydaspes. The Noble Translator had, at first, laid the scene of these imagined dangers of his Man of Conscience among the Pa

14

8

9

« ForrigeFortsæt »