THE DANCE OF BISHOPS;

OR, THE EPISCOPAL QUADRILLE.*

A DREAM.

1833.

"Solemn dances were, on great festivals and celebrations, admitted among the primitive Christians, in which even the Bishops and dignified Clergy were performers. Scaliger says, that the first Bishops were called Præsules † for no other reason than that they led off these dances."- - Cyclopædia, art. Dances.

I'VE had such a dream

a frightful dream Though funny, mayhap, to wags 'twill seem, By all who regard the Church, like us, 'Twill be thought exceedingly ominous !

As reading in bed I lay last night-
Which (being insured) is my delight—
I happen'd to doze off just as I got to
The singular fact which forms my motto.
Only think, thought I, as I doz'd away,
Of a party of Churchmen dancing the hay!
Clerks, curates, and rectors, capering all,
With a neat-legg'd Bishop to open the ball!

* Written on the passing of the memorable Bill, in the year 1833, for the abolition of ten Irish Bishoprics.

† Literally, First Dancers.

Scarce had my eyelids time to close,

When the scene I had fancied before me rose
An Episcopal Hop, on a scale so grand

As

my dazzled eyes could hardly stand. For, Britain and Erin clubb'd their Sees To make it a Dance of Dignities,

And I saw

-oh brightest of Church events!

A quadrille of the two Establishments,

Bishop to Bishop vis-à-vis,

Footing away prodigiously.

There was Bristol capering up to Derry,
And Cork with London making merry;
While huge Llandaff, with a See, so so,
Was to dear old Dublin pointing his toe.

There was Chester, hatch'd by woman's smile,
Performing a chaine des Dames in style;

While he who, whene'er the Lords' House dozes,

Can waken them up by citing Moses*,

The portly Tuam, was all in a hurry

To set, en avant, to Canterbury.

"And what does Moses say?".

One of the ejaculations

with which this eminent prelate enlivened his famous speech on

the Catholic question.

Meantime, while pamphlets stuff'd his pockets,
(All out of date, like spent sky-rockets,)
Our Exeter stood forth to caper,

As high on the floor as he doth on paper—
Much like a dapper Dancing Dervise,
Who pirouettes his whole church-service—
Performing, 'midst those reverend souls,
Such entrechats, such cabrioles,
Such balonnés*, such-rigmaroles,

Now high, now low, now this, now that,

That none could guess what the dev'l he'd be at; Though, watching his various steps, some thought That a step in the Church was all he sought.

But alas, alas! while thus so gay,
These rev'rend dancers frisk'd away,
Nor Paul himself (not the saint, but he
Of the Opera-house) could brisker be,
There gather'd a gloom around their glee-

* A description of the method of executing this step may be useful to future performers in the same line:-"Ce pas est composé de deux mouvemens différens, savoir, plier, et sauter sur un pied, et se rejeter sur l'autre.” — Dictionnaire de Danse, art. Contre-temps.

A shadow, which came and went so fast,

That ere one could say

""Tis there," 'twas past

And, lo, when the scene again was clear'd,

Ten of the dancers had disappear'd!

Ten able-bodied quadrillers swept

From the hallow'd floor where late they stept,
While twelve was all that footed it still,

On the Irish side of that grand Quadrille !

Nor this the worst: - still danc'd they on,

But the pomp was sadden'd, the smile was gone;
And again, from time to time, the same
Ill-omened darkness round them came-
While still, as the light broke out anew,
Their ranks look'd less by a dozen or two;
Till ah! at last there were only found
Just Bishops enough for a four-hands-round;
And when I awoke, impatient getting,
I left the last holy pair poussetting!

N. B.. As ladies in years, it seems,
Have the happiest knack at solving dreams,
I shall leave to my ancient feminine friends
Of the Standard to say what this portends.

OF various scraps and fragments built,
Borrow'd alike from fools and wits,
Dick's mind was like a patchwork quilt,
Made up of new, old, motley bits—

Where, if the Co. call'd in their shares,
If petticoats their quota got,
And gowns were all refunded theirs,

The quilt would look but shy, God wot.

And thus he still, new plagiaries seeking,
Revers'd ventriloquism's trick,

For, 'stead of Dick through others speaking,
'Twas others we heard speak through Dick.

A Tory now, all bounds exceeding,

Now best of Whigs, now worst of rats; One day, with Malthus, foe to breeding,

The next, with Sadler, all for brats.