ment which would otherwise have inevitably overtaken me. He still continues his forbearance and his tender mercies, though I so often decline from the path which he has plainly pointed out. How long then, O! my soul, wilt thou despise the riches of his grace, and reject his offered and extended salvation? How long wilt thou in words acknowledge, and in very deed deny Him? How long wilt thou in praises and in prayers draw nigh unto Him, whilst in the particular conduct of every day thou dost abuse His gifts, forget and forsake the giver? 1815, February 19th. -O! how transient is that momentary glimmerthat faint and feeble spark, which at intervals seems to rekindle and revive in this poor, frail tenement of mine! How soon is it quenched and smothered,-how quickly does it disappear, and leave me cold and cheerless! What apathy, what indisposition and insensibility to the beauty of eternal things, does the absence of this glorious light leave in the soul, which longs for the arising of the Sun of righteousness-for the appearance of that "which shineth more and more unto the perfect day!"* 1815, February 26th. -Blessed be the Lord! I think that I am in some small degree enabled to trust and believe, that there has been some little growth and advancement in lowliness and meekness, which are the ground work of true wisdom. How shall I sufficiently express what I feel, when I look upon myself, when I consider what and where I have been, and who He is, that has lifted me out of the mire, and rescued my soul from destruction. * February 23rd, was the first monthly meeting I attended, it was at Wandsworth. CHAPTER II. 1815, June. I have attended the Yearly Meeting this year for the first time through all the sittings, and have had very much satisfaction therein; especially in observing the consistency which seems to run through the conduct of the business coming under the care of Friends. This was to me a very favoured time, and my soul was reached wonderfully by the visitations of the day spring from on high. Though I have but little to remark, either on the subject of Friends or their discipline, I cannot help expressing how grateful I feel, for the blessing of being in some degree alive to serious impressions, and thirsting after a knowledge of Truth. 1815, June 2nd. How many are there who live in a state of sin, of blindness as to their best interests, or of drowsy indifference! The more I seek to know the Lord and to remember his mercies, the more plainly and clearly does he graciously manifest himself; and the longer I meditate on his attributes, the more firm is my conviction, that the ardent and heavenly desires with which he has favoured me, will not sleep in death, but will pass uninjured by the wreck of nature to those hallowed and happy regions, where nothing will interrupt their enjoyment for ever! 1815, September 5th. - Surely one would think the bitter cup, of which so many, so very many, of our fellow creatures have to drink, ought to be enough to stop the dissipation of the gay, to check the extravagance and the avarice of the rich, to make the heedless pause, and the wicked consider. For my own part, when I hear and see everywhere around me the affliction of the destitute, the cry of penury, the groan of sickness, and every extremity of anguish and trouble, both of body and mind, I cannot but exclaim-What am I, that I should be blessed so abundantly above others in every sense? and what ought I not to be, who am so eminently favoured with almost every variety of earthly comfort? How shall I dare to encourage or give way to pride, envy, passion, intemperance of joy, or levity of heart, when in one short day I may be deprived of every thing in which I have outward comfort and confidence, and in one poor moment may be levelled in the dust from whence I came?' 1815, September 22nd. There is that to be met with and felt, in the company of and intimacy with Friends, which is better experienced than described,-a happy, serene, and calm temper, full of forbearance and love, and affection to all, and well seasoned with sober humility, such as elsewhere I have never been able to find. 1815, November. 66 Simon, sleepest thou? Couldst not thou watch one hour? Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation." I have been more than once strongly reminded, of this short but very impressive expostulation of our Lord to his slumbering disciple, and of the salutary exhortation that follows it. I have thought how much need there is for every one of us, often to apply the same language to ourselves. O! how very few of us ever watch even one hour! and although I am willing to believe many do remember Him, on whose extended mercy they every moment depend; yet this season is, I fear, but short, and the impression but transient. I cannot therefore help expressing my desire that every one of us may be enabled to stand continually in the fear of the Lord, to bear in mind our exceeding great liability to evil, and to depend not upon our strength, but upon the power of Him, through whose strength alone we valiantly. No date; probably late in 1815. can do The first thing that I would recommend to any one seriously inclined, is, that he should not quench or stifle in any manner the precious spark, which the Lord in infinite compassion, has kindled within him. O! let such an one do nothing which is likely to impede the growth of this divine seed of grace within. Let not any deny to his own soul the nourishment which is to support it: for though the world esteem him very lightly, and even ridicule him, yet "if his own heart condemn him not, then has he confidence towards God." No date. -I am much displeased when I see a person accommodating his character and turn of mind to those among whom he is cast, changing his appearance according to the situation he is placed in. I see little apology for such persons in that saying of the Apostle, "I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some;" because such persons omit the latter part of that text," and this I do for the gospel's sake." In those of whom I speak, there is no intention by this variable conduct to serve others, but rather to save and deliver themselves from the scandal, odium, and reproof, to be cast by serious people upon levity, folly, nd by the less sober upon any thing like sobi There is a consistency of character, which, whilst oes not bring on religion the charge of moroseness and unyielding severity, yet does not deny its Great Master; and which though it does not obtrude its opinions or practice upon the notice of others, is not backward to shew decidedly, to which standard it belongs, and under whose banner it ranks. No date. -The more I am among Friends, and see the principles and nature of the religion which they profess, the more I feel convinced that true prayer is not that of the lips, or of the mere unrenewed understanding, but of the heart:-that it neither consists in, nor depends upon, a peculiar dress, an appointed form of words, a particular posture of body, or what is termed a consecrated place. But this is what it does essentially and unequivocally require,—that the soul put on the garment of faith,-that the expressions used (if there be any) be those of the heart,—that the inward posture of the mind be humble,-and that the heart be the sanctified temple, out of which prayer comes. 1815 or 1816. -Surely I ought to thank and praise the Lord, for his abundant mercy in thinking of me; and especially in wounding my vain confidence and self dependence : surely I am highly favoured by His numerous and heavy corrections. The worldly man, and the evil doer, and the indifferent nominal Christian, go on fair and softly,'-they have perhaps few and slight troubles; but he whom the Lord visits and notices,-he whom the Lord deigns to regard, and to prepare for himself, is purified in the fire of affliction, as silver seven times с |