An Antiseptic Millennium

(A Little After Kipling.)

When grocer, and butcher, and baker, mind health laws as laid down in a book,

When the cooks who rule in our kitchens wear sterilized gloves when they cook;

When butler, waiter and waitress shall be antiseptically fit, When at antisepticized tables we shall antiseptically sit,

And eat only pasteurized victuals with sterilized spoons, forks and knives, And only from pasteurized bottles the babies shall nourish their lives; When we shall sleep only in bedrooms from bacteria made immune,

And take baths in boiled water only

(and be taking more of them soon); When taxicab seats shall be harmless, and even the street cars be clean, When Pullman car berths shall be spotless (and porters don't have to be "seen");

When all coined money is polished, and the bills are laundered and dried,

When the first microbe is forgotten

and the last one discovered has died; When handshakes shall be sanitary,

and kissing shall be made a crime, When the air before we breathe it shall

be "treated" and stored for a time, Then those that survive shall be perfect, and glad they got in the game, And scientists only shall praise us, and scientists only shall blame, We shall rest, and you bet we'll want to-let up for a whole month or two, Till the scientists all get together and start us out on something new. -James Ravenscroft, Journal of the Southern States.

The Ultimate Cure

My grandfather's name was Gideon Hek, my father's name was Gregory Hek, and my name is Galamiel Hek— all in the G clef, as you will observe. And we have all been doctors of medicine. It runs in the family.

My grandfather was obsessed with the curative virtues of blood-letting, no water for fever sufferers and large doses of strong drugs. Some of his patients died.

My father, the celebrated surgeon, embraced the germ theory with enthusiasm, sawed up numberless live dogs in his experiments, administered all the serums indiscriminately, and eventually became an appendicitis specialist. Many of his patients died.

I accepted most of those therapeutic principles, adding to them, however, the excellent general practice of excision. of the tonsils, but am mainly concerned at the present time with the hypothesis that the teeth are the universal source of all disease. I advise complete extraction in every instance, whether for pinochle liver or soft corns. A great many of my patients have died.

My son, Dr. Gobbo Hek, just graduated, has advanced a new theory. I have no faith in it and shall combat it vigorously. He is spreading broadcast the evil teaching that all ailments may be cured by severing the patient's head from his body. I cannot agree with him, and take this means of warning the public that decapitation, while a delicate major operation, never did and never will bring about a renewed state of vigor. I very much fear that all of my poor boy's patients will die.-Life.

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TWO OLD ENEMIES (Cartoon)

MONIES AT MONTPE-
LIER IN 1675.

The manner of making a
Doctor of Physic is this: First,
a procession in scarlet robes and
black caps the professor took
his seat and after a company
of fiddlers had played a certain
time, he made them a sign to
hold, that he might have an op-
portunity to entertain the com-
pany, which he did in a speech
against innovations-the musi-
cians then took their turn. The
Inceptor or candidate, then be-
gan his speech, wherein I found
little edification, being chiefly
complimentary to the chancellor
and professors, who were pres-
ent. The Doctor then put on
his head the cap that had
marched in on the beadle's staff,
in sign of his doctorship-put a
ring upon his finger-girt himself
about the loins with a gold
chain-made him sit down be-
side him that having taken
pains he might now take ease
and kissed and embraced him
in token of the friendship which
ought to be amongst them.—-
John Locke: Diary.

SHAKESPEARE OR?

LURES

CARTOON

HIS FIRST CASE (Serial)

THE BAY PACER

BOTH WAYS FROM THE MIDDLE

EDITORIALS

No. 1.

knew nothing of plastic surgery,

of tenotomy, of the ophthalmo-

scope, or of the use of the mi-

croscope in diagnosis, and had

only just learned how to ligate

arteries and to treat ordinary

wounds in a simple and sensi-

ble way. The really great sur-

geon of that day was bold, cool

and skillful, could perform

most of the great operations,

such as 'amputation, ligature of

large arteries, removal of tu-

mors, Caesarean section, and the

like, but such men were few and

far between. John Shaw Bil-

lings (1895).

"THE CHIEF.*"

(Lord Lister.)

His brow spreads large and

placid, and his eye

Is deep and bright, with steady

looks that still.

Sydney Hope

4

J. D. Buckley

5

Phifer

6

Albert M. Judd, M. D.

Ralph M. Thomson, M. D.

7

8

M. J. Kutisker, M. D. 9

}

Kitty Parsons

9

Soft lines of tranquil thought his

face fulfill-

more

HIS journal, being of a humorous nature, seems a proper medium in which to discuss a subject which has its serious side also. Quite frequently, perhaps regularly, I have received clinical case records, or less interesting. A footnote explains that these records are published weekly at a price which might be attractive to those interested in their tenor, but which is equal to that of quite large professional journals. However, they are also reprinted by the State Department of Health and apparently distributed gratuitously. Also, the U. S. Public Health Service co-operates with the latter in some way not specified, except that it issues through one of its surgeons, a letter emphasizing some points of the clinical

report.

Now the question arises as to just why there has been a partnership of a federal service, a state health department, a hospital in another state, why the particular case of fatal congenital syphilis was selected and why I should be favored, gratis, with a communication decidedly outside my line of practice. Being a very modest man, the last question is easily solved: I am simply a unit known momentarily to a clerk who prepared a stencil from a directory list, the stencil taking care of me for the future. This explanation, however, raises other questions: Is the distribution of this and analogous reports gratis? Let us not be too mercenary and inquire, individually, how much we pay for the compliment or how much the medical profession pays and how much is ultimately assessed on the public generally. But the question remains whether the expense borne by the public and by the profession as part of the public, is justified.

As a further indication of my modesty—not to boast too much about this virtue, but, having so few others, some little arrogance on this point may be pardonable—I may say that my medical studies and experience have never been such as to give me more than a very rudimentary knowledge of hereditary syphilis, or syphilis of any kind, or even of venereal diseases in general. Thus, I am a good test of the value of this sort of professional education, in estimating whether it is worth the public expense incurred. After careful reading of the pamphlet, the one thing that stands out as a new point of information, is that a skin eruption in hereditary syphilis on the

eleventh day after birth is exceptional and that the earliest symptoms-from the context, implying the eruptioncommonly occur in the second week as well as in the third and fourth, these three weeks accounting for the majority of instances. It is tantalizing not to be informed on just what day between the eleventh and the fourteenth, the change from a rarity to a common phenomenon takes place. However, my ignorance of the general subject, paradoxically, qualifies me to offer some criticisms of the report, considered as an educational propagandum for the unenlightened. Without in the least implying a therapeutic dissent, the definite prescriptions of mercury with chalk, 1 gr. t. i. d., calomel ointment, and 33 1/3 per cent. argyrol and glycerin, each, for nasal instillation, should be more thoroughly discussed. Either the recipients of educational matter of this sort do not need it or they need more definite instructions in dosage, choice of medication and, especially in regard to whether the best general average treatment is being presented or whether the details are determined by peculiarities of the particular case.

The statement: "February 6 . . . culture from the eye showed staphylococci. February 9 double paracentesis was done. Three days later he was in wretched condition. Two large furuncles developed on the back" leaves one rather in doubt as to what cavities were opened. If the eyes are referred to, the allusion is rather too sketchy to be a safe guide for the inexperienced. From the discussion, apparently prompted by questions from students, it is made plain that the baby died of "erysipelas and the infection, presumably staphylococcus, complicating the congenital syphilis," but one is left in doubt as to whether the staphylococcus infection was independent of the erysipelas or whether the latter is regarded as of staphylococcus nature. I am not attempting a mere criticism of words. Anyone not fairly well versed in the theory of bacteriology would gather the idea that the staphylococcus was the cause of the erysipelas and anyone not thoroughly conversant with laboratory work to date would be in doubt as to whether erysipelas is now regarded as including such infection, either generally or by those giving the clinic. Just who gave the clinic is not definitely stated, but it is definitely stated to have been edited. Otherwise it might be placed in the "dictated but not read" class.