blocked up the door of their garret with the miserable remnants of their furniture, and locked in each other's arms, with their little children starving by their side, coolly awaited the period of their final release from the thraldom of existence. In the last hours of sinking nature, the door of their garret was forcibly burst open, and their friend entered, and beheld the parents dying, and the children dead *. With some difficulty the former were restored to health, and lived to behold a youth of misery obliterated by an old age of honour and happiness.

Our modern Bloomfield, of rural and pastoral celebrity, wrote his "Farmer's Boy" in a garret occupied by shoemakers, and pursued his poetical occupation amid the din of arms and the clattering of heels. Collins composed his odes in some such miserable dwelling.

Unfortunately these celebrated abodes of genius, these upper stories, like all other old and dull stories, are now waxing stale and out of fashion. Authors are no longer measured by their leanness, poets are no longer skinny, and Parnassus is no longer a bleak, desolate, and chilly clime. A mine of gold has lately been discovered in it, the principal proprietors of which are Scott, Byron, and Moore, who dig out the ore, to the exclusion of almost all the other respectable landholders of the mountain. Byron of late has been the most successful in his labours; he has recently dug up a rich piece of gold, "Don Juan," but which at present is mixed with metal of baser alloy when, however, it has gone through the hands of the refiner, it may be rendered extremely productive to the finances, and creditable to the exertions, of the noble and ingenious discoverer.

It appears then, that the old story of Mount Parnassus, that it afforded from its elevated summits an unimpeded view of the parish workhouse, is no longer to be considered as possessing the merit even of veracity. Whether it is that the shrubs on the margin of the Castalian fountain have obstructed the former landscape, we are not pre

* This is an error; the children also were saved.

pared to assert; but we are extremely fatigued with our long residence in a garret, and shall beg leave to come down and finish the chapter, which some time or other we may, perhaps, be induced to continue.

The Déjeuné.

DIARY OF AN OLD BACHELOR, AND AN OLD

MAID.

Years.

THE BACHELOR.

16.-Incipient palpitations towards the young ladies. 17.-Blushing and confusion in conversing with them. 18.-Confidence in conversing with them, much increased.

19.-Angry if treated by them as a boy.

20. Very conscious of his own charms and manliness.

21.-A looking-glass indispensable in his room, to admire himself.

22.-Insufferable puppyism.

23.-Thinks no woman good enough for him. 24. Caught unawares by the snares of Cupid. 25.-The connexion broken off, from self-conceit on his part.

26. Conducts himself with much superiority towards her.

27.-Pays his addresses to another lady, not without hope of mortifying the first.

28.-Mortified and frantic at being refused.

29.-Rails against the fair sex in general.

30.-Morose and out of humour in all conversation of matrimony.

31.-Contemplates matrimony more under the influence of interest than formerly.

32.-Considers personal beauty in a wife not so indispensable as formerly.

33.-Still retains a high opìion of his attractions as

a husband.

34. Consequently has no idea but he may still marry a chicken.

35. Falls deeply and violently in love with one of

seventeen.

36.-Au dernier desespoir: another refusal. 37.-Indulges in every kind of dissipation. 38.-Shuns the best part of the female sex.

39.-Suffers much remorse and mortification in so doing.

40.-A fresh budding of matrimonial ideas, but no spring shoots.

41. A nice young widow perplexes him.

42.- Ventures to address her with mixed sensations of love and interest.

43.-Interest prevails, which causes much cautious reflection.

44.-The widow jilts him, being as cautious as himself.

45.-Becomes every day more averse to the fair sex. 46.-Gouty and nervous symptoms begin to appear. 47.-Fears what may become of him when old and infirm.

48.-Thinks living alone quite irksome.

49.-Resolves to have a prudent young woman as housekeeper and companion.

50.-Nervous affection about him, and frequent attacks of the gout.

51.-Much pleased with his new housekeeper as

nurse.

52.-Begins to feel some attachment to her.

53. His pride revolts at the idea of marrying her. 54. Is in great distress how to act.

55.-Completely under her influence, and very mi

serable.

56. Many painful thoughts about parting with her. 57. She refuses to live any longer with him solo. 58.-Gouty, nervous, and bilious, to excess.

59.Feels very ill, sends for her to his bedside, and intends espousing her.

60.-Grows rapidly worse, has his will made in her favour, and makes his exit.

THE OLD MAID.

15.-Anxious for coming out, and the attention of the

men.

16.-Begins to have some idea of the tender passions. 17.-Talks of love in a cottage, and disinterested affection.

18.-Fancies herself in love with some handsome man who has flattered her.

19. Is a little more difficult in consequence of being noticed.

20.-Commences fashionable, and dashes.

21. Still more confidence in her own attractions, and expects a brilliant establishment.

22.-Refuses a good offer because he is not a man of fashion.

23.-Flirts with every young man she meets. 24.-Wonders she is not married.

25.-Rather more circumspect in her conduct.

26. Begins to think a large fortune not quite so indispensable.

27.-Prefers the company of rational men to flirting. 28.-Wishes to be married in a quiet way with a comfortable income.

29.-Almost despairs of entering the married state. 30.-Rather fearful of being called an old maid. 31.-An additional love of dress.

32.-Professes to dislike balls, finding it difficult to get good partners.

33.-Wonders how men can leave the society of sensible women to flirt with chits.

34.-Affects good humour in her conversation with

men.

35.-Jealous of the praises of women,

36.-Quarrels with her friend who is lately married. 37.-Thinks herself slighted in society.

38.-Likes talking of her acquaintance who are married unfortunately, and finds consolation in their misfortunes.

39.-Ill nature increases.

40.-Very meddling and officious.-N.B. A growing penchant.

41. If rich, as a dernier ressort, makes love to a young man without fortune.

42.-Not succeeding, rails against the sex.
43.-Partiality for cards, and scandal commences.
44.-Severe against the manners of the age.
45.-Strong predilection for a methodist parson.
46. Enraged at his desertion.

47.-Becomes desponding, and takes snuff.
48.-Turns all her sensibility to cats and dogs.
49.-Adopts a dependent relation to attend on dogs.
50.-Becomes disgusted with the world, and vents all
her ill humour on this unfortunate relation.
Literary Gazette.

UNPALATABLE RECOLLECTIONS,

Selected from the private Memoranda of a distinguished Epicure.

AFTER Completing an education, the course of which excited uniform disgust, and progressively increasing hatred, the timely death of my uncle put me in possession of an ample fortune. At the age of twenty-two I became my own master, and was said to have very respectable connexions and valuable friends-all of whom kindly interfered with their advice and experience of life to direct my mind to proper pursuits, in order, as they professed, to render me a distinguished ornament to society. My relations, who were esteemed to be very pious people, strongly urged me to marry, as an infallible mode of salvation from the pomps and vanities of this wicked world, and all the sinful et ceteras con