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Agnosco natos: tumidas sine pondere voces Goddess ! thy sons I ken--verbose and loud.
Drinks the dire draught, and of the doctor dies;
Can charm and conjure up from death no more, Ante alios somma es, Polychasmia, cura So- But more than aught that's marvellousand rare, phistæ:
The studious Soph makes Polychasm' bis care; Me tui cæcas vires, causamqne latentem Explores what secret spring, what hidden cause Sedulus exquirit-quo scilicet impete fauces Distends with hideous chasm'the unwilling jaws, Invitæ disjungantur; quo vortice aquosa
What latent ducts the dewy moisture pour Particulæ fluitent, comitesque,ut fulminis imbres, With sound tremendous, like a thunder-show'r : Cum strepitu erumpant; ut deinde vaporet How subtle matter, exquisitely thin, Materies subtilis; ut in cusin ininuet se cobellos. Pervades the curious net-work of the skin, Retia ; tum, si forte datar contingere nervos Affects th' accordant nerve-all eyes are drown'a Concordes, cunctorum ora expanduntur hiulca. In drowsy vapours, and the yawn goes rouud. Sic ubi, Phoebe pater, sumis chelyn, harmoni. When Phæbus thus his flying fingers flings amque
Across the chords, and sweeps the trembling Abstrusam in chordis simul elicis, altera, siquam If e'er a lyre at unison there be, (strings; Æqualis tenor aptarit, tremit æmula cantûs, It swells with emulating harmony, Memnoniamque imitata lyram sine pollicis ictu Like Memnon's harp, in ancient times renown'd, Divinum resonat proprio modulamine carmen. Breathing, untouch'd, sweet modulated sound. Me quoque, mene tuum tetigisti, ingrata, But ob! ungrateful to thy own true bard, Poetam?
Oh! Polychasın', is this my just reward!
No draugbts nectareous to my portion fall,
Thus the lean Sizar views, with gaze agast, Hand aliter socium esuriens Sizator edacem Dum videt,appositusquecibus frustratur hiantem, in vain he grinds his teeth—bis grudging eye
The hungry tutor at his noon's repast;
And visage sharp, keen appetite imply ;
Oft he attempts, officious, to convey
In vain-110 morsel 'scapes the greedy jaw, Devoret, & peritura immani ingurgitet ore:
All, all is gorg'd in magisterial maw; Tum demum jubet auferri; nudata capaci
Till at the last, observant of his word,
The lamentable waiter clears the board,
THE HORATIAN CANONS OF
FRIENDSHIP. NAY', 'tis the same with all th' affected crew But wou'd you crack their windpipes and their Of singing men and singing women too:
lungs, Do they not set their catcalls up of course ?
The certain way's to bid them hold their tongues, The king himself may ask them till he's hoarse; Twas thus with Minum-Minum one wou'd think,
My lord mayor might have govern'd with a wink. I Omnibus hoc vitium est cantoribus, inter To ask a song, as kinsman or as friend,
Yet did the magistrate e'er condescend amicos
The urchin coin'd excuses to get off, Ut nunquam inducant animum cantare rogati :
'Twas—hem--thedevil take this whoreson cough. Injussi nunquam desistant. Sardus habebat Ille Tigellius hoc. Cæsar, qui cogere posset,
But wait awhile, and catch him in the glee, Si peteret per amicitiam patris atque suam, non
He'd roar the Lion* in the lowest key, Quidquam proficeret: si collibuisset, ab ovo
Or strain the Morning Lark + quite up to G. Usque ad mala iteraret, Io Bacche ! modo summa Voce, modo hac resonat quæ chordis quatuor
The Lion's song, in Pyramus and Thisbe,
+ A song in one of Mr. Handel's Oratorios, ima.
Act Beard, or Lowe, and show his tuneful art This is a servile selfishness, a fault
Blind as a poking, dirt-compelling mole,
Spy'st with the quickness of an eagle's ken.
Tho' strong resentinent rarely lag behind,
The wond'rous waggishness of modern wits;
down ; And how his Grace of ***** took him by the But h’as a soul ingenuous as his face, How the prince saw him at the last review, To yon a friend, and all the human race; And ask'd who was that pretty youth in blue? Genius, that all the depths of learning sounds, Now wou'd he praise the peaceful sylvan scene, And generosity, that knows no bounds. The healthful cottage, and the golden mean.
In fruits like these if the good youth excel, Now wou'd he cry, “ contented let me dwell Let them compensate for the awkward shell. Safe in the harbour of my college cell;
Sift then yourself, I say, and sift again, No foreign cooks, nor livery'd servants nigh, Glean the pernicious tares from out the graing Let me with comfort eat my mutton pye;
And ask thy heart, if custom, Nature's heir,
This be our standard then, on this we rest,
E'en Celia's wart Strephon will not neglect,
Oh! that in friendship we were thus to blame, • But here a friend of mine turns up his nose, And erinin'd candour, tender of our fame, “ And you” (he cries) “are perfect, I suppose:" Wou'd clothe the honest errour with an honest « Perfect! not I (pray, gentle sir, forbear)
name! In this good age, when vices are so rare,
Be we then still to those we hold most dear, I plead humanity, and claim my share.
Fatherly fond, and tenderly severe. Who has not faults? great Marlborough had one, The sire, whuse son squints forty thousand ways, Nor Chesterfield is spotless, nor the Sun.” Finds in his features mighty room for praise: Grubworm was railing at his friend Tom Queer, “Ah! born” (he cries) “ to make the ladies sigh, When Witwoud thus reproach'd him with a sneer, Jacky, thou hast an amorous cast o'th' eye." “Have you yo flaws, who are so prone to snub?”. “I have—but I forgive myself," quoth Grub. s (racundior est paullo ? minus aptus acutis
Naribus horum hominum ? rideri possit, eo quod Nil æquale homini fuit illi: sæpe velut qui Rusticius tonso toga defluit, and male laxus Currebat fugiens hostem : persæpe velut qui In pedo calceus hæret. At est bonus, ut melior Junonis sacra ferrel. Habebat sæpe ducentos,
[ingens Sæpe decem servos: modo reges, atque tetrar- Non alius quisquam: at tibi amicus: at ingenium chas.
Inculto latet hoc sub corpore. Denique teipsuin a Omnia magna loquens. Modo, Sit mihi Concute, num qua tibi vitiorum inseverit olim mensa tripes, &
Natura, aut etiam consuetudo mala. Namque Concha salis puri, & toga, quæ defendere frigus, Neglectis urenda filix innascitur agris. · Quamvis crassa, queat, decies centena dedisses 6 Illuc prævertamur: amatorem quod amicæ Huic parco paucis contento: quinque diebus Turpia decipiunt cæcum vitia, aut etiam ipsa Nii erat in loculis. Noctes vigilabat ad ipsum
hæc Mane: diem totum stertebat: nil fuit unquam Delectant : veluti Balbinum polypus Hagnæ : Sic impar sibi. Nunc aliquis dicat mihi: Quid tu? Vellem in amicitia sic erraremus; & isti * Nullane habes vitia immo alia, & fortasse Errori nomen virtus posuisset honestum. minora,
At, pater ut nati, sic noc debemus amici, Mænius absentem Novium cum carperet: heus tu, Si quod sit vitium, non fastidire. Strabonem Quidam ait. ignoras te? an ut ignotum dare Appellat pätun pater : & pulluin, male parvus nobis
Si cui filius est : ut abortivus fuit olim Verba putas ? egomet mi ignosco, Mænius inquit. Sisyphus, hunc varum, distortis cruribus, illum Stultus, & improbus hic amor est, dignusque Balbutit scaurum, praris fultum male talis. notari.
Parcius hic vivit? frugì dicatur. Ineptus, Cum tua pervideas oculis mala lippus inunctis, Et jactantior hic paullo est? concinnus amicis Car in amicorum vitiis tam cernis acutum. Postulat ut videatur, At est turculentior, atquc Quam aut aquila, aut serpens Epidaurius ? at Plus æquo liber? simples, fortisque hab atur. tibi contra
Caldior est ? acres inter pumneretur. Opinor, Evenit, inquirant vitia ut tua rursus & illi. Hæc res & jungit, junctos & serval amicos.
Another child's abortive-he believes
Tenact such laws as must themselves condemn? Nature most perfect in diminutives;
In every human soul some vices spring And men of ev'ry rank with one accord
(For fair perfection is no mortal thing) Salute each crooked rascal with my lord. Whoe'er is with the fewest faults endu'd, (For bandy legs, hump-back, and knocking knee, Is but the best of what cannot be good. Are all excessive signs of — ty.)
Then view me, friend, in an impartial light, Thus let us judge our friends—if Scrub subsist Surtey the good and bad, the black and white; Too meanly, Scrub is an economist;
And if you find me, sir, upon the whole, And if Tom Tinkle is full loud and pert,
To be an honest and ingenuous soul, He aims at wit, and does it to divert.
By the same rule I'll measure you again, Largus is apt to bluster, but you'll find
And give you your allowance to a grain. T'is owing to his magnitude of mind :
'Tis friendly and 'tis fair, on either hand, Lollius is passionate, and loves a whore,
To grant th’ indulgence we ourselves demands
You must excuse all those who are awry.
Whoe'er offends, our censure let us guide,
With a strong bias to the candid side; He'll give you three rather than spoil a dish; Nor (as the stoics did in ancient times) Nor pride, nor luxury is in the case,
Rank little foibles with enormous crimes.
You'd be (methink) as infamous an oaf,
In folly and iniquity is he,
Wło, for some trivial, social, well-meant joke, Sober and meek—we swear he has no spirit; Which candour shou'd forget as soon as spoke, We call him stupid, who with caution breaks Wou'd shun bis friend, neglectful and unkind, His silence, and will think before he speaks. As if old parson Packthread was behind, Fidelio treads the path of life with care,
Who drags up all his visitors by force, And eyes his footsteps ; for he fears a snare. And without mercy reads them his discourse. His wary way still scandal misapplies,
10 If sick at heart, and heavy at the head, And calls him subtle, who's no more than wise. My drunken friend should reel betimes to bed, If any man is unconstrain'd and free,
And in the morn, with affluent discharge,
Si modo plura mihi bona sunt, inclinét; amari From Coke and Lyttleton thy mind unbend,
Si volet hac lege, in trutina ponetur eadem. With more familiar nonsense of a friend;
Qui ne tuberibus propriis offendat amicum Talk of my friendship, and of thy desert,
Postulat; ignoscat verrucis illius. Æquum est, Show thee my works, and candidly impart
Peccatis veniam poscentem reddere rursus. At once the product of my head and heart, Denique, quatenus excidi penitus vitium iræ, Nasutus calls me fool, and clownish bear,
Cætera item nequeunt stultis hærentia; cur non Nor (but for perfect candour) stops he there.
Ponderibus, modulisque suis ratio utitur ? ac res • Ah! what unthinking, heedless things are Ut quæque est, ita suppliciis delicta coercet? men,
9 'Si quis eum servum, patinam qui tollere
jussus, 1 At nos virtutes ipsas invertimus, atque Semesos pisces, tepidumque ligurierit jus, Sincerum cupimus vas incrustare. Probus quis. In cruce suffigat; Labeone insanior inter Nobiscum vivit? multum est demissus homo Sanos dicatur. Quanto hoc furiosius atque ille.
Majus peccatum est paullum deliquit amicus, Tardo, cognomen pingui damus. Hic fugit omnes (Quod nisi concedas, habeare insuavis, acerbus ;] Insidias, nullique malo latus obdit apertum ? Odisti, & fugis, ut Drusonem debitor æris? (Cum genus hoc inter vitæ versetur, ubi acris Qui nisi cum tristes misero renere Calenæ, Invidia, atque vigent ubi crimjua) pro bene sano, Mercedem aut nummos unde unde extricat, Ac non incauto, fictum astutumque vocamus. Simplicior, quis, qualem me sæpe libenter Porrecto jugulo bistorias, captivus ut, audit. Obtulerim tibi, Mæcenas, ui forte legentem to Comminxit lectum potus, mensave catillum Aut tacitum impellat quovis sermone? molestus ! Evandri manibus tritum dejecit : ob hanc rem, Communi sensu plane caret, inquimus. * Eheu! Aat positum ante mea quia pullum in parte Quam temere in nosmet legem sancimus iniquam?
catini Nam vitiis nemo sine nascitur: optimus ille est, Sustalit esuriens, minus hoc jucundus amicus Qui minimis urgetur. Amicus dulcis, ut æquum Sit mibi? quid faciam, si furtum fecerit ? aut si est,
* An infamous attorney. Cum mea compenset vitiis bona, pluribus hisce,
Had many a
Or should be in some passionate debate, 1 With zeal l'll love, be courteous e'en to strife,
AN OCCASIONAL PROLOGUE AND EPILOGUE TO What shou'd I do, or whither seek relief,
OTHELLO, AS IT WAS ACTED AT THE THEATRE"Suppose him perjurd faithless, pimp, or thief?”
IN DRURY-LANE, ON THURSDAY THE Away-a foolish knavish tribe you are,
7TH OF MARCH, 1751, BY PERSONS OF DISWho falsely put all vices on a par.
TINCTION, FOR THEIR DIVERSION.
Wule mercenary actors tread the stage, That mother of our customs and our laws. And hireling scribblers lash or luN the age, When first yon golden Sun array'd the east, Our's be the task t' instruct, and entertain, Small was the difference 'twixt man and beast; Without one thought of glory or of gain. With bands, with nails, with teeth, with clubs Virtue's her own-from no external causethey fought,
[wronght She gives, and she demands the self-applause: 'Till malice was improv'd, and deadlier weapons Home to her breast she brings the heart-fele Language at length, and words experience found,
bays, And sense obtain'd a vehicle in sound. [built, Heedless alike of profit, and of praise. Then wholesome laws were fram'd, and towns were | This now perhaps is wrong-yet this we know, And justice seiz'd the lawless vagrant's guilt; 'Twas sense and trutb a century ago : And theft, adultery, and fornication, (fashion: When Britain, with transcendant glory crown'd, Were punish'd much, forsooth, tho much in For high achievements, as for wit renown'd, " For long before fair Helen's fatal charms Culld from each growing grace the purest part,
And cropt the flowers from every blooming art,
Our noblest youths would then embrace the task Hiatus magnus lacrymabilis Of comic humour, or the mystic masque.
'Twas theirs t'encourage worth,and give to bards set the world in arms. What now is spent in boxing and in cards: Bat kindly kept by no historian's care,
Good sense their pleasure--virtue still their They all, goodlack, have perish'd to an hair.
guide, But be that as it may, yet in all climes, And English magnanimity—their pride. There's diff'rent punishment for diff'rent crimes. Methinks I see with Fancy's magic eye, “Hold, blockhead, hold—this sure is not the way, The shade of Shakespeare, in yon azure sky. For all alike I'd lash, and all Pd slay,"
On yon high cloud behold the bard advance, Cries W******n, “if I'd sovereign sway.” Piercing all Nature with a single glance: Hare sovereigo sway, and an imperial robe, In various attitudes around him stand With fury sultanate* o'er halfthe globe. The Passions, waiting for his dread commando Meanwhile, if I from each indulgent friend, First kneeling Love before his feet appears, Obtain remission, when I chance t'offend, And musically sighing melts in tears. Why, in return, I'll make the balance even, Near him fell Jealousy with fury barns, And, for forgiving, they shall be forgiven. And into storms the amorous breathings turns;
Then Hope with heavenward look, and Joy draws Prodiderit commissa fide ? sponsumve negarit?
near, Queis paria esse fere placuit peccata, laborant, While palsied Terrour trembles in the rear. Com ventum ad verum est ; sensus, moresque
Such Shakespeare's train of horroir and derepugnant
And such we hope to introduce to-night. (light, Atque ipsa utilitas, justi prope mater, & æqui. But if, thougb just in thought, we fail in fact, Cum prorepserunt primis animalia terris, And good intention ripens not to act, Mutum & turpe pecus, glandem atque cubilia Weigh our design, your censure still defer, propter,
When truth's in view 'tis glorious e'en to err.
I come to speak in spite of suffocation ; Quos Venerem incertam rapientes more ferarum To show the present and the age to come, Viribus editior cædebat, ut in grege taurns.
We may be chok'd, but never can be dumb.
Well now methinks, I see you all run out, dum tu quadrante lavatum
And haste away to lady Bragwell's rout; Rex ibis, neque te quisquam stipator, ineptum
Each modish sentiment to hear and weigh, Præter Crispinum, sectabitur : & mihi dulces
Of those who nothing think, and all things say. Ignoscent, si quid peccavero stultus, amici :
A word coined in the manner of Mr. War- " Inque vicem illorum patiar delicta libenter, burton.
Privatusque magis vivam te rege bcatus.
SPOKEN BY DESDEMONA.
Prudella first in parody begins,
She has a danghter too that deals in lace, (For nonsense and buffoonery are twins)
And sings–O ponder well—and Chevy Chase, de Can beaux the court for theatres exchange? And fain wou'd fill the fair Ophelia's place. I swear by Heaven 'tis strange, 'tis passing And in her cock'd up hat, and gown of camblet, strange ;
Presumes on something-touching the lord And very whimsical, and mighty dull,
Hamlet. And pitiful, and wondrous pitiful:
A cousin too she has with squinting eyes, I wish I had not heard it”.--blessed dame! With waddling gait,and voice like London Cries; Whene'er she speaks her audience wish the game. Who for the stage too short by half a story, Next Neddy Nicely—" Fye, O fye, good lack, Acts Lady Townly--thus-in all her glory. A nasty man to make his face all black.”
And while she's traversing her scanty room, Then lady Stiffneck shows her pious rage, Cries—" Lord! my lord, what can I do at home!" And wonders il'e shou'd act-upon a stage. In short, we've girls enough for all the fellows, “ Why, ma'am,” says Coquetilla, a disgrace? | The ranting, whining, starting, and the jealous, Merit in any formi may show her face:
The Hotspurs, Romeos, Hamlets, and Othellos. In this dull age the male things ought to play, Oh! little do these silly people know, To teach them what to do, and what to say." What dreadful trials_actors undergo. In short, they all with diff'rent cavils cram us, Myself—who most in harmony delight, And only are unanimous to damn us:
Am scolding here from morning until night. But still there are a fair judicious few,
Then take advice froin ine, ye giddy things, Who judge unbiass'd, and with candour view; Ye royal milliners, ye apron'd kings; Who value honesty, though clad in buff, Young men beware, and shun our slippery ways, And wit, though dress'd in an old English ruff. Study arithmetic, and shun our plays; Behold them here I beaming sense descry, And you, ye girls, let not our tinsel train Shot from the living lụstre of each eye.
Enchant your eyes, and turn your madd'ning Such meaning smiles each blooming face adorn,
THE BENEFIT OF THE MIDDLESEX HOSPITAL FOR
(Enters with a child.) EPILOGUE TO THE APPRENTICE.
Whoe'er begot thee, has no cause to blusb : (Enters reading a Play Bill.)
Thou'rt a brave chopping boy, (child cries) nay,
hush! hush ! hush! A VERY pretty bill—as I'm alive!
A workman, faith! a man of rare discretion,
A friend to Britain, and to our profession:
(Shores him to the Company. And why? I wrote a farce as well as he,
(Child makes a noise again.) And fairly ventura it-without the aid
Nay if you once begin to puke and cough, Of prologue dress’d in black, and face in mas- Go to the nurse. Within !here take him off. querade ;
Well, Heav'n be prajs’d, it is a peopling age, Oh! Pit-have pity-see how I'm dismay'd ! Thanks to the bar, the pulpit, and the stage; Poor soul! this canting stuff will never do. But not to th' army—that's not worth a farthing, Unless like Bayes he bring his hangman too. The captains go too much to Corent Garden, But granting that from these same obsequies, Spoil many a girl, --but seldom make a mother, Some pickings to our bard in black arise; They foil us one way—but we have them t'other. Should your applause to joy convert his fear,
Shakes a bor of pills.)
Man-midwifry, nian-midwifry's the thing!
By mere cathartics and by plain phlebotomy.
Well, besides gain, besides the pow'r to please,
(Shakes a purse.) Damn'd,damn'd dissembler thinks she's more It is a joy refin’d, unmix'd and pure, than Zara,
To hear the praises of the grateful poor.