TO THE MOST PUISSANT AND INVINCIBLE HAD this dedication been addressed to some reverend prelate, or female court-favourite, to some blundering statesman, or apostate patriot, I should doubtless have lanched into the highest encomiums on public spirit, policy, virtue, piety, &c. and, like the rest of my brother dedicators, had most successfully imposed on their vanity, by ascribing to them qualities they were utterly unacquainted with; by which means I had prudently reaped the reward of a panegyrist from my patron, and, at the same time, secured the reputation of a satirist with the public. But scorning these base arts, I present the following poem to you, unswayed by either flattery or interest; since your modesty would defend you against the poison of the one, and your known economy prevent an author's expectations of the other. I shall therefore only tell you, what you really are, and leave those (whose patrons are of the higher class) to tell them what they really are not. But such is the depravity of human nature, that every compliment we bestow on another is too apt to be deemed a satire on ourselves; yet surely, while I am praising the strength of your arm, no politician can think it meant as a reflection on the weakness of his head; or, while I am justifying your title to the character of a man, will any modern petit-maître think it an impeachment of his affinity to that of its mimic counterfeit, a monkey? SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS OF THE POEM. IT is an old saying, that necessity is the mother of invention: it should seem then that poetry, which is a species of invention, must naturally derive its being from the same origin: hence it will be easy to account for the many flimsy ghost-like apparitions, that every day make their appearance among us; for if it be true, as naturalists observe, that the health and vigour of the mother is necessary to produce the like qualities in the child, what issue can be expected from the womb of so meagre a parent? But there is another species of poetry, which, instead of owing its birth to the belly, like Minerva springs at once from the head: of this kind are those productions of wit, sense, and spirit, which once born, like the goddess herself, immediately become immortal. It is true, these are a sort of miraculous births, and therefore it is no wonder they should be found so rare among us. As glory is the noble inspirer of the latter, so hunger is the natural incentive of the former: thus fame and food are the spurs with which every poet mounts his Pegasus; but, as the impetus of the belly is apt to be more cogent than that of the head, so you will ever see the one pricking and goading a tired jade to a hobbling trot, while the other only incites the foaming steed to a majestic capriol. The gentle reader, it is apprehended, will not long be at a loss to determine, which species the following production ought to be ranked under: but as the parent most unnaturally cast it out as the spurious issue of his brain, and even cruelly denies it the common privilege of his name; struck with the delectable beauty of its features, I could not avoid adopting the little poetic orphan, and by dressing it up with a few notes, &c. present it to the public as perfect as possible. Had I, in imitation of other great authors, Were I to attempt a description of your qua- only consulted my interest in the publication of lifications, I might justly have recourse to the this inimitable piece, (which doubtless will unmajesty of Agamemnon, the courage of Achilles, dergo numerous impressious) I might first have the strength of Ajax, and the wisdom of Ulysses; sent it into the world naked, then, by the addibut, as your own heroic actions afford us the best tion of a commentary, notes variorum, prolemirror of your merits, I shall leave the reader gomena, and all that, levied a new tax upon the to view in that the amazing lustre of a character, public; and after all, by a sort of modern poeta few traits of which only, the following poemical legerdemain, changing the name of the prinwas intended to display; and in which, had the ability of the poet equalled the magnanimity of his hero, I doubt not but the Gymnasiad had, like the immortal Iliad, been handed down to the admiration of all posterity. As your superior merits contributed towards raising you to the dignities you now enjoy, and placed you even as the safe-guard of royalty itself, so I cannot help thinking it happy for the prince, that he is now able to boast one real champion in his service: and what Frenchman would not tremble more at the puissant arm of a Broughton, than at the ceremonious gauntlet of a Dimmack? cipal hero, and inserting a few hypercritics of a flattering friend's, have rendered the former editions incorrect, and cozened the curious reader out of a treble consideration for the same work; but however this may suit the tricking arts of a bookseller, it is certainly much below the sublime genius of an author.-I know it will be said, that a man has an equal right to make as much as he can of his wit, as well as of his money: but then it ought to be considered, whether there may not be such a thing as usury in both; and the law having only provided against it in one instance, is, I apprehend, no very moral plea for the practice of it in the other '. 1 As this may be thought to be particularly aimed at an author who was lately reported to be dead, and whose loss all lovers of the muses The judicious reader will easily perceive, that the following poem in all its properties partakes of the epic; such as fighting, speeching, bullying, ranting, &c. (to say nothing of the moral) and, as many thousand verses are thought necessary to the construction of this kind of poem, it may be objected, that this is too short to be ranked under that class: to which I will only answer, that as conciseness is the last fault a writer is apt to commit, so it is generally the first a reader is willing to forgive; and though it may not be altogether so long, yet I dare say, it will not be found less replete with the true vis poetica, than (not to mention the Iliad, Æneid, &c.) even Leonidas itself. It may farther be objected, that the characters of our principal heroes are too humble for the grandeur of the epic fable; but the candid reader will be pleased to observe, that they are not here celebrated in their mechanic, but in their heroic capacities, as boxers, who, by the ancients themselves, have ever been esteemed worthy to be immortalized in the noblest works of this nature; of which the Epëus and Euryalus of | Homer, and the Entellus and Dares of Virgil, are incontestable authorities. And as those authors were ever careful, that their principal personages (however mean in themselves) should derive their pedigree from some deity, or illustrious hero, so our author has with equal propriety made his spring from Phaeton and Neptune; under which characters he beautifully allegorises their different occupations of watermen and coachmen.But for my own part, I cannot conceive, that the dignity of the hero's profession is any ways essential to that of the action; for, if the greatest persons are guilty of the meanest actions, why may not the greatest actions be ascribed to the meanest persons? As the main action of this poem is entirely supported by the principal heroes themselves, it has been maliciously insinuated to be designed, as an unmannerly reflection on a late glorious victory, where, it is pretended, the whole action was achieved without the interposition of the principal heroes at all.But as the most innocent meanings may by ill minds be wrested to the most wicked purposes, if any such construction should be made, I will venture to affirm, that it must proceed from the factious venom of the reader, and not from any disloyal malignity in our author, who is too well acquainted with the power, ever to arraign the purity,of government: would have the greatest reason to lament; it may not be improper to assure the reader, that it was written, and intended to have been published, before that report, and was only meant as an attack upon the general abuse of this kind. -As to our author himself, he has frequently given public testimonies of his veneration for that great man's genius; nor may it be unentertaining to the reader, to acquaint him with one private instance :-Immediately on hearing the report of Mr. Pope's death, he was heard to break forth in the following exclamation: Pope dead!-Hush, hush, Report, the sland'rous lie; Fame says he lives-immortals never die. besides, the poignance of the sword is too prevalent for that of the pen; and who, when there are at present so many thousand unanswerable standing arguments ready to defend, would ever be Quixote enough to attack, either the omnipctence of a prince, or the omniscience of his ministers? Were I to attempt an analysis of this poem, I could demonstrate that it contains (as much as a piece of so sublime a nature will admit of) all those true standards of wit, humour, raillery, satire, and ridicule, which a late writer has so marvellously discovered; and might, on the part of our author, say with that profound eritic,— Jacla est Alea: but as the obscurity of a beauty too strongly argues the want of one, so an endeavour to elucidate the merits of the following performance, might be apt to give the reader a disadvantageous impression against it, as it might tacitly imply they were too mysterious to come within the compass of his comprehension. I shall therefore leave them to his more curious observation, and bid him heartily farewellLege & delectare. SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS. THE GYMN ASIAD. ARGUMENT. THE invocation, the proposition, the night be SING, sing, O Muse, the dire contested fray, call the sons after the names of their fathers; as BENTLEIDES. V. 6. Ambition, equal foe to son and sire?] It has been maintained by some philosophers, that the passions of the mind are in some measure hereditary, as well as the features of the One, hapless fell by Jove's æthereal arms, Now all lay hush'd within the folds of night, Then waking, watch the slow approach of day; Forth issuing now all ardent seek the place Sacred to fame, and the athletic race. As from their hive the clust'ring squadrons pour O'er fragrant meads, to sip the vernal flow'r; 20 So from each inn the legal swarms impel, Of banded seers, and pupils of the quill. Senates and shambles pour forth all their store, Mindful of mutton, and of laws no more;' E'en money-bills, uncourtly, now must wait, And the fat lamb has one more day to bleat. The highway knight now draws his pistol's load, Rests his faint steed, and this day franks the road. body. According to this doctrine, our author very beautifully represents the frailty of ambition descending from father to son ;-and as original sin may in some sort be accounted for on this system, it is very probable our author had a theological, as well as physical, and moral meaning in this verse. For the latter part of this note we are obliged to an eminent divine. V. 21. legal swarms impel,] An ingenious critic of my acquaintance objected to this simile, and would by no means admit the comparison between bees and lawyers to be just; one, he said, was an industrious, harmless, and useful species, none of which properties could be affirm ed of the other; and therefore he thought the drone, that lives on the plunder of the hive, a more proper archetype. I must confess myself in some measure inclined to subscribe my friend's opinion; but then we must consider, that our author did not intend to describe their qualities, but their number; and in this respect no one, I think, can have any objection to the propriety of the comparison. V. 24. and of laws no more;] The original MS. has it bribes; but, as this might seem to cast au invidious aspersion on a certain assembly, remarkable for their abhorrence of venality; and, at the same time, might subject our publisher to some little inconveniences; I thought it prudent to soften the expression; besides, I think this reading renders our author's thought more natural; for, though we see the most trifling avocations are able to draw off their attention from the public utility, yet nothing is sufficient to divert a steady pursuit of their private e:nolument. V. 28. this day franks the road.] Our poet here artfully insinuates the dignity of the combat he is about to celebrate, by its being able to prevail on a highwayman to lay aside his business, to become a spectator of it;-and as, on this occasion, he makes him forsake his daily bread, while the senator only neglects the business of the uation, it may be observed, how satirically he gives the preference, in point of disinterestedness, to the highwayman, 30 Bailiffs, in crowds, neglect the dormant writ, Lords yield the court, and butchers Clerkenwell. Assembled myriads crowd the circling seats,40 But first, the infant progeny of Mars Join in the lists, and wage their pigmy wars; Train'd to the manual fight, and bruiseful toil, The stop defensive, and gymnastic foil, With nimble fists their early prowess show, And mark the future hero in each blow. 50 To these, the hardy iron race succeed, All sons of Hockley and fierce Brick-street breed: Mature in valour, and inur'd to blood, Dauntless each foe in form terrific stood; Their callous bodies, frequent in the fray, Mock'd the fell stroke, nor to its force gave way. 'Mongst these Gloverius, not the last in fame, V. 37. There many a martial son, &c.] The unwary reader may from this passage be apt to conclude, that an amphitheatre is little better than a nursery for the gallows, and that there is a sort of physical connection between boxing and thieving; but although boxing may be a useful ingredient in a thief, yet it does not necessarily make him one. Boxing is the effect, not the cause; and men are not thieves because they are boxers, but boxers because they are thieves. Thus tricking, lying, evasion, with several other such-like cardinal virtues, are a sort of properties pertaining to the practice of the law, as well as to the mercurial profession. But would any one therefore infer, that every lawyer must be a thief? SCHOLIAST. V. 44. infant progeny of Mars] Our author in this description alludes to the Lusus Troja of virgil, Incedunt pueri -Troja juventus -Pugnæque ciunt simulachra sub armis. V. 51. Hockley and fierce Brick-street breed] Two famous athletic seminaries. V. 57. And he whose clog, &c.] Here we are presented with a laudable imitation of the ancient simplicity of manners; for, as Cincinnatus disdained not the homely employment of a ploughman, so we see our hero condescending to the humble occupation of a clog-maker; and this is the more to be admired, as it is one characteristic of modern heroism, to be either above or below any occupation at all. V. 58. whose artificial light,] Various and violent have been the controversies, whether our While these the combat's direful arts display,60 The various means that might his foe controul; THE GYMNASIAD. ARGUMENT. Stephenson enters the lists; a description of his figure; an encomium on his abilities, with coachman. respect to the character of a Broughton advances; his reverend form des- FIRST, to the fight, advanc'd the charioteer:] rage; He leaps the bar, and bounds upon the stage. sway, its due. Then thus indignant he accosts the foe, Froze all my blood, and ev'ry nerve unbrac'd; And inly groan'd the fatal words—'no more.' thor inculcates a fine moral, by showing how apt men are to mistake their talents; but were men only to act in their proper spheres, how often should we see the parson in the pew of the peasant, the author in the character of his hawker, or a beau in the livery of his footman! &c. V. 34. the badge its due.] A prize given by Mr. Dogget, to be annually contested on the first of August.-As among the ancients, games and sports were celebrated on mournful as well as joyful events, there has been some contro. author here intended to celebrate a lamp-lighter or a link-boy; but as there are heroes of both capacities at present in the school of honour, it is difficult to determine, whether the poet al-versy, whether our loyal comedian meant the Judes to a Wells, or a Buckhorse. compliment to the setting or rising monarch of Argument.] It was doubtless in obedience that day; but, as the plate has a horse for its to custom, and the example of other great poets, device, I am induced to impute it to the latter; that our author has thought proper to prefix an and, doubtless, he prudently considered, that, argument to each book, being minded that noas a living dog is better than a dead lion, the thing should be wanting in the usual parapher-living horse had, at least, an equal title to the nalia of works of this kind -For my own part, I am at a loss to account for the use of them, unless it be to swell a volume, or, like bills of fare, to advertise the reader what he is to expect; that, if it contains nothing likely to suit his taste, he may preserve his appetite for the next course. V. 6, 7. He leaps the bar, &c. See the des The roofs re-echo riptions of Dares in Virgil. } Nec mora, continuo vastis cum viribus effert V. 19. But know, though skill'd] Here our au same preference. V. 42. Froze all my blood,] See Virgil. V. 50. Fierce Grettonius to submit ;] Gretton, the most famous Athleta in his days, over whoi our hero obtained his maiden prize. V. 53. Allenius too, &c.] Vulgarly known by the plebeian name of Pipes, which a learned critic will have to be derived from the art and mystery of pipe-making, in which it is affirmed this here 60 Whose blows, like hail, flew rattling round the head When, lo! the champions give the dreadful sign, THE GYMNASIAD. BOOK III. ARGUMENT. A description of the battle; Stephenson is van- was an adept.-As he was the delicium pugnacis Culminibus crepitant.— V. 57. Then fell the swain,] Jeoffrey Birch, who, in several encounters, served only to augment the number of our hero's triumphs. V. 59. Next the bold youth] As this champion is still living, and even disputes the palm of manhood with our hero himself, I shall leave him to be the subject of immortality in some future Gymnasiad, should the superiority of his prowess ever justify his title to the corona pugnea. V. 63. This said, &c,] Virgil. Hæc fatus, duplicem ex humeris rejecit amictum : [tosque Et magnos membrorum artus, magna ossa lacerExuit. 20 So wav'd the head, and now to left and right Both, fix'd as oaks, their sturdy trunks sustain. cends. 31 40 Bold and undaunted up the hero rose, Fiercer his bosom for the combat glows; Shame stung his manly heart, and fiery rage New steel'd each nerve, redoubled war to wage. Swift to revenge the dire disgrace he flies, Again suspended on the hip he lies; Dash'd on the ground, again had fatal fell, Haply the barrier caught his flying heel; There fast it hung, th' imprison'd head gave way, And the strong arm defrauded of its prey. Vain strove the chief to whirl the mountain o'er; It slipt-he headlong rattles on the floor. V. 10. its idle force in air.] Virgil -vires in ventum effudit. Doubt V. 19. Like the young lion] It may be ob served, that our author has treated the reader but with one sinile throughout the two foregoing books; but, in order to make him ample amends, has given him no less than six in this. less this was in imitation of Homer, and artfully action, as well as our admiration, towards the intended to heighten the dignity of the main conclusion of his work.--Finis coronat opus. V. 24. Arms in arms entwine ;] Virgil. Immiscentque manus manibus, pugnamque lacessunt. V. 35. Bold and undaunted, &c.] Virgil. V. 42. Haply the barrier, &c.] Our author, like Homer himself, is no less to be admired in the character of an historian than in that of poet we see him here faithfully reciting the most minute incidents of the battle, and informing us, that the youthful hero, being on the lock, must again inevitably have come to the ground, had not is heel catched the bar; and that his antagonist, by the violence of his straining, slipt |