It seems 'twas the day He was doom'd to go pay, Upon ale and beer, the excise: Betwixt taxes and malt, Says he, I don't get salt, And so should lay down, were I wise. At length I grew bold, And went to him, and told Imust give not to her, but the king. Then next with the banker I soon cast my anchor, And told him the state of the dame; All he had lay at court, And bid me return whence I came. To th' anchor-smith next, At the news of a merchant just broke; Who stood like a dumb thing, At last scratch'd his head, and thus spoke : Friend, did you but know, You'd ne'er press me so, And out he lugs a long scroul; As God is to save me, "Twixt merchants and navy, I'm utterly ruin'd by my soul. Thence I trudg'd to the taylor, You shou'd have something of me, A pox take all the beaus, They must have their new cloaths ; By heavens, wou'd there was none in the nation. I went next to the drapers, Found their boys cutting capers, With abundance of fiddles and flutes; But, when I ask'd them for money, As though they'd been so many mutes. Said I, where's your master? To which answers one of the wisest, From the draper of linnen, Was as empty as his skull. To the next that I went, Was old sir Cent. per cent. * That was soundly enrich'd by her art; His reply was in short, I have found better sport, And don't value her death of a fart. Being thus in quandary, I met apothecary, And told him the full of the matter; He call'd me aside, And ask'd, when she dy'd, And withal, what doctors came at her. I'm afraid, with their blisters, And issues in every part, If her head had been shav'd, But, if she's dead, 'tis in vain I march'd next to the pressers, An usurer. Where the foreman stood combing his wig; At the fur-end o'th' shop, The lads were whipping a top, In the middle one dancing a jig. You must know this spruce cit Laid a claim to some wit, And, to shew it, took a wife for her beauty; There was something i'th' case, Well, without long petition, He gave me his answer in brief: But have nothing to give for relief. Being devilishly vex'd, To a wretch I went next, That was selling of buttons and thread; You'd have said, I dare swear, He was more fit to be ty'd in his bed, When I told him, Mother Trade He swore a great oath, why do'u name her And I'll out for a purse, I'd almost venture hanging to shame her. I thought 'twas no boot, Says he, these commanders, Prithee, friend, don't urge me to fret. To the binders and sellers of books; I could presently guess, By their goods in their shops, and their looks I went next to the black-smith, The silver and jack-smith, Though the chief trade in vogue, Bid the devil in hell consume her. I went to the printer, The victualler and vintner, But, there finding nothing but chalk, To the weavers I went, But, being near day of rent, They were all mov'd, their landlords to baulk. At the Temple, if you know the place, sir; On a lawyer I call'd, That oft client had maul'd, And told him the state of my case, sir. He ask'd me, from whence I had that impudence, To expect any goodness from him; Says he, sirrah, you know, We have nothing to do, But to cheat, drink, whore, and go trim. Then, master attorney, Since it don't concern ye, I'll go to the jobber of stocks; But he'd jobb'd so long, As I found by his song, That he could give her nought but the pox. The French refugees and Dutch, that came over jin king William's reigu, chiefly settled about Soho-square. I went next to the priest, But he swore, 'twas in jest To ask any charity there; For he'd many children to get, And now for Monsieur *, I suppose had smelt out the matter; Begar, me and Minheer, As ever me tinke dat God made. Here I put him in mind And he very briskly reply'd: De French and de Dutch, Dat love her so much, Will take care dat she shall be supply'd. The Frenchman, begar, To lay her so deep she shan't rise; Dat wou'd be no very good, If de English should open their eyes. The beadle here ends The tale he intends, And so we march'd on to the grave; But, when we came nigh, There was such an outcry, Good Lord! how the people did rave. There was gun-smith, and cutlers, And shoe-makers too more than any. There were some of all trades, See the foregoing note. |