It seems 'twas the day

He was doom'd to go pay, Upon ale and beer, the excise: Betwixt taxes and malt,

Says he, I don't get salt,

And so should lay down, were I wise.

At length I grew bold,

And went to him, and told
The long and short of the thing;
His reply was, don't tease me,
Pray friend, I'd be easy,

Imust give not to her, but the king.

Then next with the banker

I soon cast my anchor,

And told him the state of the dame;
His answer was short,

All he had lay at court,

And bid me return whence I came.

To th' anchor-smith next,
Whom I found sadly vex'd,

At the news of a merchant just broke;
I ask'd him for something,

Who stood like a dumb thing,

At last scratch'd his head, and thus spoke :

Friend, did you but know,

You'd ne'er press me so, And out he lugs a long scroul; As God is to save me,

"Twixt merchants and navy, I'm utterly ruin'd by my soul.

Thence I trudg'd to the taylor,
That wretch did bewail her,
But swore he had never a souse;
If I had it, said he,

You shou'd have something of me,
But, faith, I'm scarce worth a louse.

A pox take all the beaus,

They must have their new cloaths
I abhor those fools in the fashion:
Your knights, 'squires, and lords,
That won't keep their words.

;

By heavens, wou'd there was none in the nation.

I went next to the drapers,

Found their boys cutting capers,

With abundance of fiddles and flutes;

But, when I ask'd them for money,
They stood staring upon me,

As though they'd been so many mutes.

Said I, where's your master?
So I told the disaster;

To which answers one of the wisest,
Sir, he, seldom comes here,
If he does, he with beer,
In a dreadful manner, disguis'd is.

From the draper of linnen,
(Which they sell, and then sin in)
I went to their brother of wooll:
But he gave me a joke,
And said that his poke

Was as empty as his skull.

To the next that I went,

Was old sir Cent.

per

cent.

*

That was soundly enrich'd by her art; His reply was in short,

I have found better sport,

And don't value her death of a fart.

Being thus in quandary,

I met apothecary,

And told him the full of the matter;

He call'd me aside,

And ask'd, when she dy'd,

And withal, what doctors came at her.

I'm afraid, with their blisters,
Their purges and clysters,

And issues in every part,
They weaken'd her so much,
She could not stand the touch,
I'm afraid on't with all my heart.

If her head had been shav'd,
She might have been sav❜d,
Had she taken a vomit withal;

But, if she's dead, 'tis in vain
Any more to complain,
Here's a couple of pence, 'tis my all.

I march'd next to the pressers,
And from him to the mercers,

An usurer.

Where the foreman stood combing his wig;

At the fur-end o'th' shop,

The lads were whipping a top, In the middle one dancing a jig.

You must know this spruce cit

Laid a claim to some wit,

And, to shew it, took a wife for her beauty;
But I saw by his face,

There was something i'th' case,
I'm afraid she'd late been on duty.

Well, without long petition,
I told the condition,

He gave me his answer in brief:
I lament the good dame,
And speak it with shame,

But have nothing to give for relief.

Being devilishly vex'd,

To a wretch I went next,

That was selling of buttons and thread;
But, had you been there,

You'd have said, I dare swear,

He was more fit to be ty'd in his bed,

When I told him, Mother Trade
Was gone to the shade,

He swore a great oath, why do'u name her
I have just bought a horse,

And I'll out for a purse,

I'd almost venture hanging to shame her.

I thought 'twas no boot,
To say more to the brute,
And so to the saddler I pack,
Where I found him a swearing,
Stamping, grinning, and staring,
He had scarce got one to his back.

Says he, these commanders,
By their warring in Flanders,
Have so cursedly run in my debt,
They've scarce left me a farthing,
To keep me from starving,

Prithee, friend, don't urge me to fret.
I went then to the grocers,
To the brasiers and throw sters,

To the binders and sellers of books;
But, for the success,

I could presently guess,

By their goods in their shops, and their looks

I went next to the black-smith,

The silver and jack-smith,
And so called on a perfumer;
But he, like a rogue,

Though the chief trade in vogue,

Bid the devil in hell consume her.

I went to the printer,

The victualler and vintner,

But, there finding nothing but chalk,

To the weavers I went,

But, being near day of rent,

They were all mov'd, their landlords to baulk.

At the Temple, if you know the place, sir;

On a lawyer I call'd,

That oft client had maul'd,

And told him the state of my case, sir.

He ask'd me, from whence

I had that impudence,

To expect any goodness from him;

Says he, sirrah, you know,

We have nothing to do,

But to cheat, drink, whore, and go trim.

Then, master attorney,

Since it don't concern ye,

I'll go to the jobber of stocks;

But he'd jobb'd so long,

As I found by his song,

That he could give her nought but the pox.

The French refugees and Dutch, that came over jin king William's reigu, chiefly settled about Soho-square.

I went next to the priest,

But he swore, 'twas in jest

To ask any charity there;

For he'd many children to get,
With much cost, pains, and sweat,
Besides something for puddings and beer.

And now for Monsieur *,
Who, before I came near,

I suppose had smelt out the matter;
He makes two or three cringes,
As if he hung upon hinges,
And thus he began for to flatter.

Begar, me and Minheer,
Bin very sorry to hear,
Of de death of de English trade;
Dis be one good nation,
Upon my salvation,

As ever me tinke dat God made.

Here I put him in mind
Of what I design'd,

And he very briskly reply'd:

De French and de Dutch,

Dat love her so much,

Will take care dat she shall be supply'd.

The Frenchman, begar,
Will take very good care,

To lay her so deep she shan't rise;
For, if once she shou'd,

Dat wou'd be no very good,

If de English should open their eyes.

The beadle here ends

The tale he intends,

And so we march'd on to the grave;

But, when we came nigh,

There was such an outcry,

Good Lord! how the people did rave.

There was gun-smith, and cutlers,
And founders, and suttlers,
And coach-makers a great many;
There were coblers, and tinkers,
Those honest ale drinkers,

And shoe-makers too more than any.

There were some of all trades,
Even rogues, thieves, and jades,

See the foregoing note.