Houghton says) can help. My enquirer, with his head full of this counsel, takes leave, resolving to meditate on it, and put it in practice; but, going down stairs, he saw a written paper which Harry's servant had dropped; and, being curious, took it up, and put it in his pocket to read at leisure. The first opportunity he had, he opened the paper, and found as follows: Answers, excuses, and observations, to be got by heart, and used, as occasion offers, by my servant Robin.'

'If a man knocks hard early in a morning, with a cane in his hand, believe him to be a creditor, and the first time answer him, that I am not well, and you dare not disturb me; to countenance which, be sure, two or three days in a month, tie a rag upon the knocker of the door. The second time, I was sent for about earnest business, to any busy nobleman you first think of. Afterwards say for me as you would have others say for you to whom you owe money; but be sure you be not catched in a lye, for people are too apt to believe that courtiers servants lye, though they speak truth, if their desires be not complied with. If it be one that wears a sword, it is ten to one but it is either some body I am in combination withal to cheat another, or that he himself is to be cheated; him presently admit, for from such, corn comes to the mill. If it be one whose company I have shunned, send him to some tavern or coffee-house out of the verge of the court, where, to be sure, I never go but on a Sunday.'

Some part of the paper had been torn off, but one may be certain, he had learned the whole lesson by the variety of shams and excuses he had constantly ready. Bless me! how was my enquirer surprised at the reading it? And began to conceive that he was fallen into the hands of a tongue-padding cheating courtier; but, finding his counsel, in some measure, ought to be followed, he was resolved to make applications as he was directed. In a short time, by friends or money, he was little or much recommended to almost all fortune's darlings, that had the disposal of any employs; one or other of them he was almost continually waiting on with the recommendation of my Lord such an one, Sir such an one, or honest Mr. such an one; and every one to whom he was recommended, like true courtiers, spoke him fair. One promised the next thing that fell; another promised to take care of him; a third, out of kindness, would have h m qualify himself, that, upon any opportunity, he might jump in a fourth took money in part; and, a fifth invited him to dinner, which gentleman, it must be said of him, did him more kindness than all the rest; for, after he had waited half a year, he found their promises to be only air; for, when the first had power by a vacancy, to be sure he said, he was pre-engaged. The second's

care was to avoid him. The third gentleman would not give him an opportunity to jump, continually selling reversions. The fourth did his business but in part, for he could never get all his money again. Thus shuffled off from one to another, by fair words and

promises, he spent a great deal of time, and all his money, to no purpose. Meeting with so many disappointments, and really wanting necessaries, and reflecting on the usage he had met withal, and dreading the poverty he saw approaching, he had fallen into despair, but that he had still the happiness to carry in his mind the thoughts of futurity, from which he resolved as much as possible to be content; and, to strengthen him in his acquaintance and resignation to a Supreme Will, he often went to church; but, one day going into St. Martin's, though early, the surly clark refused him admittance into a pew, which so mightily concerned him, that he went to his lodging, and, whilst the thought continued, he wrote the following verses.

To what extremities am I driven,

When parish-clarks bar my converse with heav'n,
As much as in the surly rascals lie?

Who, by the face, the pocket do descry,
And, sine pence, admittance they deny!
These under-graduate Peters of the church
Would sell to Simon the heavenly gift,
If to their avarice and humour left;
Perhaps, the men did my misfortunes know,
Afraid to trust me, who so much did owe;
Deny'd admittance, lest that I should pray
Blessings, for which they thought I'd never pay.

Having long racked his brains, and spent his money and time in vain, his peery landlord, by a writ, secured him a safe place in the Marshalsea, durante vita, unless a compassionate parliament release him by an act of grace.

Fed up with hope by such, his money's spent,
But has no greater prospect, than if lent
To needy noblemen, of its return,
Who seldom pay a debt, but to the urn.
Place-brokers to enquirers still speak fair,
Blow up a bubble globe, which turns to air;
Like lottery-projectors, draw a scheme,
How thousands may be got,

If, if they draw the lot;

But hit, or miss, there's profit still to them,

THE APPARENT DANGER OF AN INVASION,

BRIEFLY REPRESENTED IN A LETTER TO A MINISTER OF STATE. BY A KENTISH GENTLEMAN. MDCCI.

SIR,

THE HE present posture of publick affairs abroad has such a terrible aspect upon the liberties of Europe in general, that France will have no reason to wonder, if all the princes and states of Europe, which are its neighbours, should take the alarum at her late conduct since the treaty of Reswick *. I am sure it would be a very great wonder with me, and posterity too, if, after so late and notorious a violation of a solemn treaty, we should take her word again, and trust to her engagements, unless we can oblige her to perform them †.

She has, undoubtedly, her envoys and her instruments in all countries, especially here, who, with great artifice and subtle insinuations, will tempt the easy and the ignorant by colours and pretences of her good meaning, that she has no farther design than maintaining the Duke of Anjou's succession §, and all her neighbours, that will own him, shall be, if they please, her dear friends and confederates.

But what wise man can be found? Nay, one may venture to say, where can you shew me that blockhead that has brains little enough to believe her? And yet a Frenchman has so much confidence in the folly of all other nations, and in his own dexterity to play the knave, that with very great assurance he obtrudes his flattery, and expresses his friendship and esteem for you, when his own conscience gives him the lye, and he is carrying on a design at the same time to cut your throat.

Every body knows it was but in October last, that all the courts of Europe were, in show at least, earnestly sollicited to enter into the treaty of partition; and all the huffing and sneaking arguments were used by your Guis-ds and your Amel-ts, for two or three months together, to prevail upon the Italians and Germans ||, great and little; but, in the midst of all this banter and grimace, arrives an express with the king of Spain's death and Anjou's

The same may justly be remarked of the French behaviour since the treaty of

Utrecht.

+ By first reducing her to so low a condition, as to oblige her to an honourable peace, and so to watch her intrigues, and check her illegal aspirings in time of peace, as to prevent her capacity ever to become troublesome to the liberties of her neigh bours any more.

See Vol. I. p. 23, 24.

To the crown of Spain, by which union France promised herself to gain a power to give laws to all Europe, as her attempts from that time will prove.

Was not this the very method taken by France, to deprive the empire of its liberties, and to ruin the house of Austria, before this war broke out?

succession, and what part does my little Franculus esuriens act upon so sudden a change?

Why, out he sets as briskly as can be with a new memorial, fawns and hectors, en bon Francoise, desires your patience a little, while his master, like a true son of old Eunius, steals away half a dozen kingdoms and dukedoms; and then promises (believe him if you dare) to be a very good Musselman,-till the next oppor

tunity t

There is a certain very worthy gentleman, and true Englishman too, who was aware of this, and gave us his advice, in very honest terms, in the year 98, but Thrift and Distrust, two wary Devils, opposed his design; and what the force of foreigners, in ten years war, could never do, the folly of a few true-born Englishmen effected in a trice; viz. subdued the hero, and ridiculed the politician.

We chose, at that time, rather to trust our good neighbour with a standing force of 150,000 foreigners, than, at the end of the war, suffer 10 or 20,000 swords and musquets to continue in the hands of our own countrymen, for fear, I suppose

That Englishmen should Englishmen subdue.

I confess they have a pretty good hand at betraying their country, but, for my part, I was for trusting them at that time, and ever shall, before any foreigners.

§. But our fleet was disarmed, and our land forces reduced, from 84 to 7000 men, that is full. And when we had stripped ourselves thus naked, and invited the Assyrians into our land, you will ask me, how it came to pass, that we have not had a second invasion from Normandy or Picardy, and that the French have not, before this, taken up their quarters within the weekly bills, and with our friends at Rochester and Sittingborn. Why truly, I must tell you, not for want of good will, and good opportunity too (we thank our masters) but they had other game in chace; the lingering sickness of the late King of Spain put Versailles in a constant alarum every post; for Spain and the Indies, ever since 1660, were decreed for usurpation §; and if your Montaltoe's and Portocarrero's had failed of their treason, the ratio ultima regum was at hand; viz. a good train of artillery, and an 100,000 men. When this morsel was swallowed, it would be time enough to look after England, and the out skirts of Europe: who, in the mean time, are to be hushed, if possible, with specious proposals and golden mountains, till my little master || is well settled at Madrid. And then her highness the Duchess of Burgundy will put in her claim to the crown of England, and we may defend the Protestant heir or possessor if we can, when her grandfather¶ has over-run Italy and the

Hungry Frenchman, who grasps at all power.

To take what more he can get from you.

K-' speech.

By the King of France.

The Duke of Anjou.

The King of France.

Netherlands, and taken possession of all the ports in Holland. He has already made such quick approaches towards that unfortunate country, that the people are in the highest consternation; and, if we suffer them to be devoured, the next step he takes will be for England.

And he has so many and so considerable reasons to invade us at this very juncture, that some mysteries of state, undiscoverable at present, or a mighty infatuation alone can hinder him. The people on our coasts are so sensible of their defenceless condition, especially since the French troops entered so unexpectedly, and all at one moment, into all the frontier towns in the Spanish Flanders, that they expect every morning to hear they have put garrisons into Dover, Rye, and Shoreham, and it is almost as easy and quick a passage from Calais and Dunkirk, to Harwich, Dunwich, and Yarmouth. The passage between us and them is so short, that five or six hours is time enough to execute such a design in any part of Kent.

Julius Cæsar, who had but indifferent pilots, and vessels that were ill sailors, came over in a night: and William the Conqueror crossed a wider part of the Channel, viz. from Bologn to Pevensey, in a few hours, and both of them succeeded so well by the folly and divisions of our ancestors, that it is our good luck if our enemies do not take the advantage of our present circumstances, to make a trial of our boasted English valour, and see, how many of the fourteen hundred thousand names, contained in the Associations lodged in the Tower of London, dare shew their faces in the field against the Marshal de Bouffleurs at the head of twenty or thirty thousand veterans.

I pretend not to the skill of a marshal, and you do not mistake me, I am sure, for a conjurer in affairs of state; and yet I will venture to affirm, upon the little experience I have had in a military station, and a pretty long acquaintance with the humour of a people under a panick fear, that, were I of the interest and religion, and in pay of Monsieur at Versailles, I should no more question the success of invading England, at this time, till about a month or six weeks hence, than I do my meeting with you next year at Tunbridge Wells in the season.

And, upon peril of my head, I would undertake, as old as I am, to land with about twenty thousand foot, and two thousand dragoons on next Monday morning in any part of Kent, or Sussex, from Dover to Chichester, and with little or no opposition continue my march towards your populous city, and quarter my troops in London, Westminster, and Southwark, by Saturday next, so as to hear high mass on Sunday morning, at St. Paul's, and dissolve your Parliament the Monday following.

This you may think a little unlikely, and I wish it were morally impossible; but, I think, I can make it appear a very feasible enterprise. I will suppose then the Marshal de Boufflers at Dunkirk, or Calais, this very Saturday night, embarking his men, and setting sail at one or two in the morning, with a fresh gale at east,