CHAPTER XVIII

THE ETHICS OF CONVERSATION

"Most persons do more talking than anything else— it behooves them to give heed to it."

"I was lately en

A philosopher once wrote: gaged in conversation with a friend who loves sceptical paradoxes."

To most persons of practical good sense such a habit in conversation is not only tiresome, it also seems to be a waste of time and energy. And yet now and then one meets an individual who persistently fattens his conceit upon such frivolities. In some respects he reminds us of Don Quixote, who "would dispute with the curate of the parish, and with the barber, as to the best knight in the world." In other respects he appears to resemble the unlucky Sisyphus, who, for his wickedness, was condemned to spend his time pushing a huge stone uphill only to have it roll down again.

Don Quixote fed himself upon foolishness when he had nothing to do "which was almost all the year round." At night he read romances until it was day; at day he would read again until it was night; and thus his brain became full of "nothing but enchantments, quarrels, battles, challenges, wounds, amorous plaints, torments, and abundance of impossible follies."

It would not be so bad if Don Quixote would waste nobody's time but his own. But he insists

upon having his neighbors' time and his neighbors' attention upon all conceivable pretexts. Worst of all, he dissipates their sane thought, exhausts their patience, and perhaps weakens their confidence in the sanity and stability of human nature.

If Don Quixote becomes sceptical, and still continues to insist upon talking, he may do irreparable harm. Scepticism and pessimism are among the worst foes of social welfare. Confidence and optimism are perennial mainsprings of action and achievement. The successful salesman believes in the goods he is "handing out." The Chautauqua promoter is usually a visitor that is wholesome to the community because his text is, "Bury your hatchet and buy a horn." Kiwanians and Rotarians are preaching a virile and productive gospel when they hold up before the eyes of the people such stimulating texts as the following:

"We have no more right to consume good cheer without creating it than to consume wealth without producing it."1

"You can have prosperity

if you are willing to pay for it with faith, work, and co-operation."2

The world needs more leisure and more talk between man and man; but silence is better than

1. Kiwanis Magazine, June, 1923.

2. Rotarian poster.

whining or calamity-howling. The cordial optimist is a public benefactor. He adds to the happiness of his neighbors and enhances business efficiency. He is an asset of incalculable value to the community.

Mere gossip in conversation is bad enough; it betrays a vacant mind; but evil-speaking and slander are even worse-they give proof of malevolence and wicked intent. Slander and libel are both punishable at law; but law from without cannot always and everywhere be on guard against the evil mind and the poisoning tongue. Only the law that is within the sense of right, of duty, of obligation— can be ultimately effective. In these things, as well as in many others, the good citizen must be a law unto himself, honoring his own lips, cherishing the good name of others. It is perhaps not too much to say that most persons fix their own value among their associates by what they say as much as by any other means they may employ. "Most of us do more good or harm in this way," declares Dr. Andrew Peabody, "than in all other forms beside."3

The habitual use of slang in conversation is not only disgusting to the intelligent listener, it is also a sin against the speaker's own mind. For nothing, perhaps, dwarfs thought so much as slang. The victim thereof uses it to express everything to which it can possibly be attached. He makes no effort to think of the proper term or phrase, but at once gives vent to noise in the ever-ready fashion. It becomes

3. Peabody's Address to Young Ladies, page 24.

a sort of profanity, not so much because it is vulgar in itself, but more because it pollutes and clogs the very fountains of speech-the springs of sympathy, understanding, and appreciation. It has been said that men "cuss" because they are not able to discuss. It may be said no less truly that people use slang in conversation because they are too lazy to think or because they have lost the power to think.

Close akin to the use of slang and bad-taste expletives is the practice of exaggeration. With some persons nothing is ordinary-everything is "immense" or "magnificent." Such persons habitually overleap all moderate degrees and land at once upon the pinnacles. For them there are no fertile plains or level prairies, the world is all mountain peaks. To them even the commonplace is "awful" or "infinite." A university professor once, in attempting to distinguish between a crow and a raven, began with the declaration: "A raven is much like a crow, but it is infinitely larger."

So much for scientific accuracy, in this particular case-perhaps in some others, also.

Can a people develop the powers of clear and close analysis, of fair and honest distinctions in the various intricate affairs of life, of government, of international relations, if they habitually darken and cripple thought and feeling in their everyday talk?

As already observed, we have need of more talk among the people, but it should be the enriching exchange of real insight or the sweetening gift of sympathy and uplift. A distinguished scholar re

cently began a university address by discussing the decline of conversation in America and by pointing to specialized study and the absence of leisure as the chief causes. He predicted that with an in

crease in our time for recreation will come a natural blend of social and intellectual interests. Further on he said:

The tendency of our American educational institutions would seem to be rather in the direction of crowding the required curriculem into too many subjects to provoke thought. The consequence is that the undergraduate social life serves as a safety-valve, an escape from the overcrowded curriculum, rather than as the continuation and the laboratory of the curriculum. The first emphasis, then, to be drawn from this analogy is the need for more leisure, less crowding in the curriculum.

The second emphasis would be in the direction of increasing the opportunities for conversation and personal contacts in our educational methods. With due regard for greater leisure in the curriculum there might be provided the opportunity for intellectual fellowship between professor and students in discussion groups.

The third emphasis should be the temper of the conversation itself. What must impress an American listening to Englishmen in conversation is their ability to discuss subjects from opposing points of view without loss of temper or resort to personalities.4

4. Beverly D. Tucker; Phi Beta Kappa address at the University of Virginia, June, 1923.