be. And fure I am, whatever any may plead, that there is a time for all things, God never yet allowed time for fin. O Lord, humble me for the bad example I have fet, fince I called myself a Chriftian; and forbid that any fhould ever again be able to plead my example for vanity. And oh, that all who name the name of Chrift, may be enabled to depart from iniquity, and abftain from all appearance of evil! And if we pretend to be in Chrift, oh that we may walk even as he walked ! For I am perfuaded, that the careless walk of profeffing chriftians, lulls more confciences afleep, when the devil, and flesh and blood fet in to plead their example, than the vices of all the world befides, who make no profeffion. And oh, what a dreadful thing for chriftians to be the means of ruining precious and immortal fouls, and diminishing that kingdom and intereft, which they should be forever engaged to promote; and promote his kingdom and intereft, against which they fhould always proclaim open war! Oh dreadful indeed! that Chrift fhould be fo wounded in the house of his friends! Lord, make me yet more circumfpect, for Jefus' fake.—But to proceed I ftill continued in very dark and melancholy circumftances, between hope and fear, afraid to conclude one way or the other. And having no opportunity to speak with Mr. Tennent again, I wrote to him as well as I could, briefly relating what I had experienced, and begged of him to try it by fcripture rules, and judge of it accordingly, and give me his opinion; that I 1 might not fin by denying the grace of God, if I had it; nor speak peace to my foul, if God To which he returned the following did not. anfwer. "MY DEAR FRIEND, "I LIKE your experiences well. They feem to me to be fcriptural and encouraging; and I think you may humbly take comfort from them, and give God the glory of his pure grace. They who have been fo humbled and diftreffed for fin, as to be divorced from the governing love and practice of it; and have been by the Spirit of God made willing to embrace the Redeemer deliberately, unrefervedly, and refolutely, upon his own terms, have a fure intereft in the great falvation. John i. 12. To as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the fons of God, even to them that believe on his name. And whatever involuntary defects they are guilty of, they fhall not break the everlasting covenant between God and their fouls. Though they have played the harlot with many lovers; yet they may return to their first husband. Though God may hide his face for a little moment, yet with everlafting loving kindness will he return. Though they be fometimes easily befet with fin; yet he, who was the author, will be the finisher of their faith. I add no more but love, and remain, your real friend, G. T." March 22, 1741. I have transcribed this letter, that, if Providence fhould ever caft these lines into the hands of any in like circumstances, it may, if the Lord will, have the fame happy effect on them, as, by the the bleffing of God, it had on me; which was this-The letter itself was exceeding fweet and refreshing; but the precious texts of fcripture, which were quoted, were fo powerfully fet home on my mind, that they fcattered all my clouds immediately, and I was as one restored from the grave. Then with life and courage I again renewed my written covenant engagements with God, and became more lively and zealous for God than ever. O the amazing goodness of God to me! I have heard of fome chriftians who never recover fuch backflidings all their days. But I have not fince loft my evidences. of grace. Though I have been fometimes under defertion, yet I could frequently fay, "Why art thou caft down, O my foul, and why art thou difquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise him, who is the light of my countenance, and my God." After I was thus revived, my longings to be made useful in the world returned, and I earneftly pleaded with God that he would not fuffer me to live any longer an unprofitable servant ; but would point out fome way, in which I might be useful: And that I might now be as exemplary for piety, as I had been for folly. And it pleafed God fo to order it, that I had room to hope my petitions were both heard, and in a measure answered. For foon after this a number of young women, who were awakened to a concern for their fouls, came to me, and defired my advice and affiftance, and propofed to join in a fociety, provided I would take the care of them. To which, I truft with a fenfe of my own unworthiness, I joyfully confented. And nuch fweetnefs we enjoyed in thefe meetings. (And bleffed be God, they are yet kept up.) About this time it pleafed God to lay his afflicting hand upon me by the removal of my only brother by death. As to the loss of his person, I found I could quietly submit, and say, “The Lord gave, and he has taken away, and blessed be the name of the Lord." But I had a finful curiofity to know how it was with his precious foul And being filled with fear about it, I was very much dejected. But I knew my curiofity was finful. And I pleaded earnestly with God, that he would not fuffer me to attempt to pry into the fecrets of his will; but give me a quiet fubmiffion. I continued wrestling with God for refignation to his will, till about two o'clock in the morning, and then I went to bed, ftill begging that I might never spend another day unrefigned. And just about break of day I awaked with the following words ftrongly impreffed on my mind, "Secret things belong unto God, but thofe which are revealed belong unto us. The will of God is done, the will of God is done." Thefe words quieted me, so that I arofe as cheerful, compofed and thankful, as if I had met with no affliction at all, and I think more fo; and never did from that hour, nor could mourn as I had done. This I confidered as a remarkable anfwer to prayer. After this my bufinefs failed, and I found I could not keep my room where I lived; and which way to turn, I knew not. But was perfuaded God would point out fome way for me. 3 1 had feveral offers to go into the country to keep school in credible families, where I had a profpect of wanting for nothing of the neceffaries of this life. But I could not bear the thought of going from the means of grace, and other precious privileges, which I then enjoyed. And the fociety of young women often entreated me not to leave them. I had double ties every way, and knew not what to do. But I was not diftreffed, believing God would provide for me. Accordingly he did fo; though by an afflictive difpenfation. It pleafed him to remove a dear friend by death, with whom I was very intimate. Her husband was a very fober good fort of a man, and wanted me to keep his fhop for my board, and wash for myfelf. This offer fuited me very well; for hereby I was not likely to be deprived of any of my religious privileges. So on the first day of July, I went there to live, and indeed had much comfort. Dear Mr. Clap met with the fociety at his houfe twice every week, which I conftantly attended; and religion feemed to be the chief bufinefs of my life. Had much comfort in all the duties of religion, public, private, and fecret: And had as much time to spend in them as I could defire. About this time I had the offer of a fecond marriage, with one who appeared to be a real chriftian (and I could not think of being unequally yoked with one who was not fuch.) 1 took the matter into ferious confideration. I forefaw there were difficulties which I muft unavoidably encounter; and many duties would bc |