lovely Jefus for appointing fuch an ordinance as this. But I cease to say any more of this; for it is impoffible for me to defcribe the thousandth part of what I then felt. O, that I could always live as one who had thus been on the mount with God! The next morning I was as much refreshed by meditating on the 32d Pfalm, from the first verse, to the end of the 5th. This caufed me yet more to adore diftinguishing grace, and even to be fwallowed up with love to the immaculate Lamb; and refolve more and more, with full purpose of heart to cleave to the Lord. The frequent language of my foul was this, "Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I defire befides thee." I daily renewed my covenant engagements with God: But that they might be more inviolably kept, I refolved to write them. And accordingly began to do it ; and went on comfortably, till I came to write thefe words, "That I would leave, lofe, and deny all that was dear to me, when it stood in competition with God, even life itself, if he fhould pleafe to call for it, rather than to forfake him and his ways." Then Satan befet me, and furioufly affaulted me. He fuggefted to me that I was now lying to God: For I had nothing in me, that would ftand by me, when an hour of trial fhould come; but, with the ftony ground hearers, would fall away. This gave me a dreadful fhock at firft, and caused me to ftop a while, to plead with God for a discovery of my ftate: That he would fearch me and try me, and fee if there were any wicked D wicked way in me: And grant me real and perfevering grace. And in anfwer to my petitions, the following portion of God's word was powerfully fet home to my heart," My grace is fufficient for thee." And then my heart was filled with joy and praifes, firmly believing he was faithful who had promifed, and therefore would perform it. So I proceeded to write with more fixed refolution than before. But again Satan with great fury affaulted me, and told me, my hope would furely perifh; and I fhould turn back, and be worfe than ever, and brought to shame; and ranked in order my fins of youth. But I immediately opened my Bible, being dreadfully fhocked with fear left it should be fo. And the first lines I caft my eyes upon were in Ifaiah liv. 4, &c. "Fear not; for thou fhalt not be afhamed: Neither be thou confounded, for thou fhalt not be put to fhame : For thou fhalt forget the fhame of thy youth, and fhalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. For thy Maker is thine husband, the Lord of hofts is his name, and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Ifrael, the God of the whole earth fhall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forfaken and grieved in fpirit, and a wife of youth, when thou waft refufed, faith thy God. For a small moment have I forfaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee, for a moment; but with everlafting kindness will I have mercy on thee, faith the Lord thy Redeemer. For this is as the waters of Noah unto me. For as I have sworn that that the waters of Noah fhould no more go over the earth; fo have I fworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. For the mountains fhall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness fhall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, faith the Lord that hath mercy on thee." These gracious promifes were fo adapted to every particular of my circumftances, and applied by the Spirit of God, with such great power, that they ftrengthened me exceedingly. But O, when I had finished writing my covenant, which was on the 26th of March, 1737, and came to fpread it before God, and with prayers and tears to deliver it to him as my own act and deed, it verily feemed to me that all the heavens rang with acclamations of joy, that fuch a prodigal as I was returned to my God and Father. And my joy was fo great, that my bodily ftrength failed, and I was, for fome time, as one whofe foul was ready to break loofe, and wing away into the bofom of my God. O, how welcome a meffenger would death then have been to me! But my great petition was, that I might with patience wait my appointed time, and glorify God upon earth. After I had fo folemnly delivered my folemn covenant engagements to God, under hand and feal, I went on my way rejoicing; this being the language of my foul," Who fhall feparate me from the love of God? Shall tribulation, or diftrefs, or perfecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or fword? No. I am perfuaded, that neither life, nor death, nor angels, nor principalities, palities, nor powers, nor things prefent, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, fhall be able to feparate me from the love of God which is in Chrift Jefus my Lord." And I am aftonished, when I remember the amazing condefcenfion of my God! He granted me near access to the throne of his grace continually And in almost every thing for which I earneftly prayed, I was remarkably answered; and fo furprisingly, at fome times, that I was afraid to think it was fo. Once in particular, in that fame month of March, as I was afleep in the bed, early in the morning, I was awaked with the moft terrible wind that I ever knew. It immediately tore off both my windows, and carried them into the ftreet. I rofe directly, and looked out. I think I never faw the heavens and the water look fo dreadfully before: And the wind blew exceed-. ing hard, fo that it appeared that all the veffels in the harbor would foon be broken to pieces. I thought of those poor fouls who were expofed to the fury of the ftorm; and my heart was filled with tender pity and compaffion for them. 1 retired, for fecrecy, into the garret. After I got there, I expected every moment that the roof would be ripped off and blown away. But I was very earneft with God to abate the violence of the ftorm, and to have compaffion on the poor fouls in diftrefs. And while I continued pleading with God, I had an affecting view and fenfe of the fufficiency of one word of Chrift to do it. It was only for him to fay," Peace, beftill," and the winds and fea would immediately obey him. And And after I had fome time thus wreftled with God in prayer, I went down. I had been fo earnestly engaged, that I had not perceived any abatement of the ftorm; but looking again out of the window in my chamber, I was furprifed above measure. The fea looked as calm and pleasant to me, as if there had been no ftorm.. I immediately retired again, and returned thanks for it, as a remarkable anfwer of prayer. But have often heard fince, that it was a piece of pride and prefumption for me to think it fo. However, this I know, God is both the hearer and anfwerer of pra er, for Jefus' fake. I could not avoid, when there was opportu nity for it, expreffing my love and thankfulness to God, for fnatching me as a brand out of the burning And when I did this once to my mother, with tears of joy running down my cheeks, she said to me," Ah, child, you will not: always find your love thus flaming to the bleffed Jefus. After a while you will be more cool again." But I haftily anfwered, too much like Peter, It was impoffible. I could be fuch a monfter for ingratitude. But fhe told me, fhe did not mean that I fhould in reality love him lefs, but compared the firft efpoufals of a foul to Chrift, with that of a husband and wife, which was generally attended with more fondnefs and ! joy, than afterwards, though the love might be the fame, or ftronger. I continned to go on my way rejoicing for fame time, without knowing what is was to be deferted one hour together, or entirely to lofe fenfible communion with God in any duty or d fpecial |