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Geese, their nature is such, cackle loud in one's pond,
(When its wings were well clipt) yclep't JEFFREY by ME.
Now, you'll scarcely believe it, for all that's been done,
I protest I'm half
sorry to see you so low-
Mr Jeffrey, cheer up! you're a nice little fellow,
Were I forced by some dread demoniacal hand,
To change heads (what a fate!) with some Whig in the land, I don't know but I'd swap with yourself, my old Gander, (I should then be Diogenes-not Alexander !)
But to shew my good will in a manner more solemn,
I inscribe to your name (Jump for joy !) this whole VOLUME.
17, PRINCE'S-STREET, EDINBURGH,
We have found ourselves, dear Subscribers, under the necessity of publishing two Numbers of our Magazine, this month, and we shall be obliged to do this occasionally, when our correspondents become dangerous and personal. We trust that we shall be forgiven by all whose articles are not inserted. We put a printer's devil, blindfolded into our large iron-safe, and told him to throw out at random thirty articles. As he is no relation of the late Miss Macavoy of Liverpool, the blindest impartiality may be depended upon. Another devil was in waiting to carry off the articles to the printing-office; and they are printed just as the blinded devil threw them up, on the principle of fortuitous concussion. That so much and so many of them should have happened to relate to coronations, cannot surprise any person who believes that an accidental jumble of atoms produced the world.
We regret, however, that this mode of selection has been unfortunate in one respect. The paw of the little devil in the chest has not happened to lay hold of any sentimental description of the late august ceremony; although, doubtless, there must be many such, as all the writers for the press appear to have been taken with the most pathetic sensibility in their account of the solemnities; even the London newspapers not only excelled themselves, but some of them performed characters at variance with their wonted habits.
The eyes of "The Morning Chronicle," for example, were suffused with tears of joy and gratitude at beholding the whiglings placed so near his Majesty's seat of honour; "The Examiner" was obliged to confess that "the thing was well got up;" and Cobbet himself bit his lips with vexation to such a degree, that there is some doubt if he will ever be able to wash his mouth again.
Had we not been induced to grant the boon of this impartial selection to our correspondents, in imitation of his Majesty's act of grace to the Radicals, merely to try if we can appease a parcel of discontented rogues, we should have confined ourselves exclusively to works of a tender-hearted kind, such as has hitherto characterised our publication. Perhaps, however, our readers will allow, that for them the fortuitous selection has been fortunate, for certainly we never before issued any Number like to this, whether we regard the abilities of the correspondents, or the topics on which their abilities have been exerted, C. N.
Or, The Voyages and Travels of Thomas Duffle, Cloth-merchant in the Saltmarket of Glasgow.
HAVING nourished my faculties for observation by reflecting on the various things I had seen, and the extraordinaries I had heard, I began again to feel the spirit of curiosity germinating to new adventures, which it would at one time have been far from my hand to have undertaken. But travelling enlarges the mind, and experience is a great encourager in the way of venturing afield. I was, however, for a season perplexed anent the airt in which I should steer my course, as the Jack Tars say, till some accident brought me to think, that of late years our young haberdashers, and others in the fancy line, are in the practice of taking a trip up to the town of London, to see the fashions:-Thinking of this, as I was saying, it came into my head, that if such jauntings were profitable to them, the like might be of service to me in my business-at the same time, considering the steady hand I had always held in my calling, it would not do for me to be overly ready to change my methods; and therefore, before attempting any thing of the sort, I thought it would be prudent to see a little more of the world, and look about me; for although Glasgow is surely a large and populous place, it must be allowed that it is but a narrow sphere for observation, and that a man who spends his whole life therein, between, as it were, the punchbowl and the coffee-room, cannot be else, as a man, than one of the numerous family of the Smalls, a term which I heard an exhibitioner at Baliol's, from our College to Oxford, employ in speaking of persons with poor heads and proud purses-and nobody could dispute with him the justness thereof.
However, not to descant on particularities, let it suffice, that one night, over a dish of tea, [the Englishers, as I afterwards found, say a cup of tea,] with Mrs M'Lecket, I said to her, "What would ye think, Mistress, if I were to set out on a journey to London ?"
Mrs M'Lecket had then the pourie in her hand to help my cup; but she
set it down with a stot, and, pushing back her chair, remained for a space of time in a posture of astonishment, by which I discovered that it was a thing she never expected would have entered my head. I then expounded to her how it might be serviceable to me to inspect the ways of business in London; but although nothing could be more reasonable than what I set forth on that head, she shook her's, and said, "This comes of your gallanting in the Greenock steam-boats; but ye're your own master, Mr Duffle, and may do as ye think fit-howsomever, its my opinion that the coronation has a temptation in it that ye're blate to own.'
After thus breaking the ice with Mrs M'Lecket, I consulted with Mr Sweeties as to money matters and lesser considerations, and having made a suitable arrangement for being from home a whole month, and bought a new trunk for the occasion, with the 'nitial letters of my name on the lid in brass nails, I was taken in a stage-coach to Edinburgh. Some advised me to prefer the track-boat on the canal to Lock No. 16; but as I had the long voyage from Leith to London before me, I considered with myself, that I would have enough of the water or a' was done, and therefore resolved to travel by land, though it was a thought more expensive.
My companions in the coach consisted of Mrs Gorbals, who was taking in her youngest daughter, Miss Lizzy, to learn manners at a boarding-school in Edinburgh-and a Greenock gentleman, who was on his way to get the opinion of counsel anent a rivisidendo on some interlocutor of the Lord Ordinary concerning the great stool law-plea of that town; and we were a very tosh and agreeable company. For of Mrs Gorbals it does not require me to tell, that she is a blithe woman; and Miss Lizzy, although she has not quite so much smeddum as her elder sister Miss Meg, that Mr M'Gruel, the Kilwinning doctor, had a work with last year, is however a fine good-tempered lassie, and, when well schooled, may