anchangeable God. But I must give up, however desrous I am to write to you; for I cannot spell aright: no; it is all blunder upon blunder. I am a very poor creature indeed! But the goodness of God to me has been indescribable. O the mighty power of God, which he has manifested to me in this illness! All that I have been favoured with of the divine goodness through the whole course of my life, is nothing to what he has communicated to me. under this painful dispensation of his providence. O how far from any degree of the fear of death, or the grave. My God is with me, powerfully and blessedly with me. That is all I can say, and I must give it up." On February 23d, he wrote again as follows: "Where shall I begin to tell of the loving kindness of an infinitely kind and gracious God, extended to a poor weak and helpless worm. O for this love let rocks and bills, "Their lasting silence break, "And all harmonious (mine in particular) human tongues, "Their Saviour's praises speak." O yes, my Saviour's praises speak. The pain and sickness I have been called to pass through, I cannot describe. Human language falls far too short. But the sweet peace, the heavenly tranquility, the holy delight, and heavenly joy which my precious Saviour communicated to my soul, far, very far, exceeds all description! This day fortnight; O, with what rapture, with what supreme delight did I view my heavenly inheritance. My soul mounted up to the throne of God, my altogether lovely Saviour. The kingdom of immortal glory; the holy, happy spirits I saw worshipping at our Emanuel's feet, all ready to bid me welcome. In short, heaven itself surrounded me. My beloved brother seemed standing at my bed's feet. Nothing but my poor, weeping wife, and a poor thin vail of flesh and blood seemed to stand in my way. No, glory to God in the highest. No clouds, no doubts, no fears. No: all was quietness, peace and assurance for ever. "Last Sunday I was very ill indeed. I said to the Doctor, you know, sir, that from the beinning, I have had no wish to recover; and now I have no hope. I believe I shall die, and it would give me inexpressible pleasure to hear you say that you have no hope. He then honestly told me that d 1 he had little hope, or rather none at all. Since then I have gained a little strength. But what shall I say, I am as weak almost as I can be, I assure you. will be the last letter I shall ever write. I can hold out no more. I am quite done for. blessings attend you and your's. Amen." This, perhaps, Well, be it so, Ten thousand Those only who visited him can form an adequate conception of the feeling and emphasis with which he spoke. His friend, Mr. John Pipe, observes concerning one of his visits: "When I entered the room where he lay rejoicing in God, he told me that he had been exceeding ill. But that when his pain was greatest he was caught, as it were, to the very throne of God; and blest to that degree that he could have shouted aloud! and the Lord, said he, gave me the fullest assurance that what I had been preaching so long was according to his truth: especially the doctrines of the witness of the spirit and entire sanctification." "Many things of a like nature, adds Mr. Pipe, passed between us, and when I knelt down to pray, the divine presence indeed overshadowed us, and we were much refreshed." Never shall I forget the solemnity of my visit to Mr. Pawson. On my entrance into the room, he looked unutterable things, clasped my hand, and said, "I am glad to see you, I am very glad to see you, I am EXCEEDING glad to see you-ten thousand blessings rest on you and yours." He then proceeded, "You know how God has represented himself in his holy word as a God of infinite mercy and love, &c. speaking largely of the divine character, perfections and promises, "Now" said he in a manner peculiarly emphatical, 66 ALL THAT IS MADE GOOD TO ME! This was on the 5th of March. After spending a week with him, I returned to London; hoping to see him again, as the symptoms were so favourable as to afford ground of hope that his life might be prolonged for some time. The parting was very affecting; another change took place soon after, and I saw his face no more. I will now conclude this memoir by a quotation from a funeral sermon preached on the occasion of Mr. Pawson's death, by Mr. Henry Moore: "On the 3d of February, 1806, he preached at Wakefield, from Mark 3 ch. 35.v-Whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother. He had for some time complained of indisposition, and now expressed himself, as incapable of further labour in the Ministry. On Thursday the 6th of February, he was for the first time confined to his room, being attacked by an inflammation in the bowels. From this period, he appeared to be fast approaching to the grave; this was to him a source of consolation, and he frequently declared, that when his pain was most acute, his confidence in God was strongest. "On Tuesday the 25th, to the astonishment of all, he came down stairs without assistance, and with uncommon earnestness, exhorted those Ministers who were present, to insist especially on the necessity of enjoying the Witness of the Spirit, and holiness of heart, and then declared that the only foundation of his hope was, the infinite merits of the Lord Jesus Christ. On the same day, he said to those around, All will be well soon; I can speak of my funeral as cheerfully as of my wedding. In a conversation he had with a friend, on the necessity of doing all things to the glory of God; he declared, that he had never purchased a single article since his conversion, but with an eye to eternity, and said, I have nothing to do-all is ready. "On Wednesday 26th, when several friends were present, after expressing in the most elevated and forcible language, his glorious prospects into eternity, he began to pray with the utmost fervency; for the Conference, that they might abide by their original doctrines; also, in a most affecting manner, for his partner, that the Lord would enable her cheerfully to resign him into his hands, and he assured her, that while she lived, her Maker would be her husband, and that He would support her through the same trying scene. He then prayed for every individual present, and though exceedingly weak, he after this, at the request of Mrs. Pawson, with perfect recollection and presence of mind, baptized a child belonging to a particular friend: this was an affecting sight, and a most solemn season. "On Thursday the 27th, to Mr. Smith, from Birstal, he said-" Give my love to the Congregation, and tell them, I am going to my precious Saviour-the heaven of heavens is open to my view-I have nothing on my mind-I have nothing to do but die--I have long been sailing to this heavenly haven---sometimes the seas have been rough and tempestuous---Satan has often tried to raise a storm, if possible, At to overset my little barge; but this he could not effect. No, No-now Satan hath no business with me--he appears to have quitted the field, and given it up as a lost case." another time, he spoke to this effect," All the powers of darkness will never be able to extinguish the flame of Divine Love that burns within." Soon afterwards he said, "It is enough, Christ died for me---I am mounting to the throne of God; Where would you have me go" ?---Then he broke out into the most rapturous strains of praise, and clasping his hands, said, "I know I am dying, but my death-bed is a bed of roses---I have no thorns planted upon my dying pillow." Some "On Friday 28th, being told that he would weary himself by speaking too much, he exclaimed, "I spend my breath as freely as I received it." One of his friends reminding him, That he had not now to seek the Lord, he replied, “ No---I have not to seek the Lord, nor has he to seek me." wine and water being offered to him, he (though scarcely able) took it into his own hand, and then, in the most solemn and affecting manner, administered to himself the Sacrament---this was indeed a blessed and profitable season to all present. "Saturday March 1st. About one o'clock this morning, be spoke of death with the greatest cheerfulness; and feelin his pulse, wondered that he (meaning death) should delay his coming-" I have no dread, said he, all is prepared-- Death is welcome." A few hours after this, he again committed his partner into the hands of God, telling her as before, she would scon follow, and that the Lord would be her refuge and strength.--Feeling himself exceedingly week, he said, "I am on the verge of eternity, and with his utmost remaining strength exclaimed, Victory! Victory! Victory! through the Blood of the Lamb; let my soul take its everlasting flight." After this he sung the following verse, from one of his favourite hymns: O Could we make these doubts remove, "Doubts gloomy doubts? where are they? I know nothing of gloomy doubts, I have none--where are they gone "A friend replied, I suppose they are fallen at the foot of the Cross, where Bunyan's Pilgrim lost his burden-Oh! said our reverend Father, but I am now upon the delectable mountains, and with the Shepherd's spying glass, I view the Heavenly Country. "At this time there appeared a favourable change in his complaint, which continued about ten days, during which period, through extreme debility, he was incapable of speaking much, but what he said was strongly expressive of his happy state. I have, said he, at one time, no pain, sickness or sorrow, nor a wish to live or die-All is well.-Yes, said he, exerting himself-Heaven already is begun, everlasting life is won, is won, is won!-I die a safe, easy, happy deathThou my God art present, I feel thou art-Precious Jesus -Glory, glory, be to God! It is God that justifieth, who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea, rather that is risen again, who ever liveth to make intercession for us! What shall separate us from the love of Christ? "Sunday 16. Having passed through a very painful night, he thought two more such would carry him off, but he said, All is well, my life is hid with Christ in God,---and you my dear partner will soon follow me--He then with energy spoke the following lines: Trembling, hoping, ling'ring, flying, Oh the pain, the bliss of dying. "Monday 17 Being asked if he wanted any thing, he replied, I want nothing but my blessed Jesus and death, but I have him now; thanks be to God Christ is mine--I am dying, but I shall live for ever.-Christ is all in all to me... Death is indeed desirable, but all the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come-One present said, you will have a blessed change---Yes, said he, I know I shall-To one who came to see him, he said, My kind friend, I'm drawing fast to a conclusion--Oh! my Jesus--'tis all light and glory---I am completely happy --completely happy. "On Tuesday the 18th, suffering much from difficulty of breathing, he said, dying work, is hard work; but now that my strength fails, God is the strength of my heart, and tion for ever, yes for ever and ever---Christ is my Saviour, d my pormy all!-Help me to render unto thee, the praise so justly due to thine excellent name for the support I feel!—thou dost not suffer me to faint---No |