you are a man of feeling, and a man who understands these matters.

I am, therefore, MR. MAN IN THE MOON,

Guildhall, City.

Yours most respectfully,

THE MAN IN ARMOUR."

I cannot help thinking but that my friend, the MAN IN ARMOUR, has just and heavy cause of complaint; I have often noticed his attention to his duty when employed, and advise that he shall be permitted to offer a personal challenge to the proud and troublesome Corsican, which might be worded after the following manner :

"MOST RENOWNED KNIGHT OF THE FRANTIC ORDER, Hearing that it is your most puissant determination to visit these shores, I invite you so to do, and that you may present yourself on the west-side of Temple-bar on the first day of the next month, at the hour of twelve, and announce your arrival with a bugle horn, to be blown by a dwarf, when the gate will be opened, and you will find me in readiness to throw the gauntlet. I shall be in complete armour, you will, doubtless, be the same, and I expect when you get so far that your vizor shall be down. I swear by the spurs of the renowned knight St. George of England, that I will not fail. (Signed)

The Lord Mayor's Court, Nov. 19th, 1803.

THE MAN IN ARMOUR."

I have lately discovered a philosopher, with a telescope, making experiments, the better to ascertain

my physiognomy; and a fair lady has favoured me with the following epistle:

"I have not slept since the publication of your paper; for I am, you must know, dying with curiosity to see you; I imagine to myself your droll visage, until I fall into successive fits of laughter, and would give any thing to find you popping your head through the hole of the window-shutter in my chamber. I have, I assure you, a hundred questions to ask :-Pray, are you a married man?-are there any little men in the moon?—was you taken to the moon for gathering sticks on a Sunday?do you mean to notice us women in your observations, or to overlook our faults?—are lovers governed by the influence of the moon, and is the changeableness of our sex to be attributed, as it is said, to her inconstancy?-does she govern the wonderful changes of fashion, and rule the taste of Madame Lanchester?-has the moon any thing to do with Buonaparte, with the changes of administration, with Sir Francis B

the Mameluke, or Mr. W-n ? You have no idea how delighted I should be to have all these, and ten thousand more questions answered; but I will send you a list of curious items, against which you can write the answers. You will observe, by my name, that I am a distant relation of yours, and I shall, I am sure, be very happy to see you, whenever you have an opportunity.

I am, MR. MAN IN THE MOON,

Yours, most sincerely,
CYNTHIA."

Half-Moon Street, Piccadilly, Nov. 19th, 1803.

Letters have just reached the moon, which bring intelligence that Buonaparte has changed his determination of visiting England in gun-boats, being much too unwieldy machines; and that he has invented a species of canoe, by which he can paddle across the channel with great ease, or, in case there may be a brisk breeze, sail along under a reefed damask napkin, at the rate of seven knots an hour they are so contrived, as not to overset without drowning the passengers, that they may not be taken prisoners. The model has been shewn to the members of the National Institute, and unanimously approved.

Nothing can shew the extent of genius of the great Consul more than these inventions. I would, however, advise him to take care of himself when he is about half seas over. It is not the plaster of Paris

that can make him invulnerable.

Z.

ERRATUM.-No. I. p. 6, 1. 2, for 24,000 read 240,000.

The Man in the Moon is much obliged to Ferguson's Ghost for his notice of a press error.

THE want of encouragement so much experienced by true genius has occasioned me to make this application to you, since I have reason to hope that you have already noticed my labour; and that you will become my patron. You may easily judge, Sir, that in this automaton age, any improvement in speaking figures will be a desideratum; but what I am about to offer to the public far exceeds any thing of the kind yet attempted, and may be truly valuable to gentlemen who are just met to talk over affairs. I know that are a good mechanic, and therefore I will proceed to describe my invention to you, for which I certainly intend to solicit a patent. You have doubtless, Sir, heard of the great difficulty of many public speakers to articulate more than the monosyllables Aye and No. Well, Sir, that difficulty is at an end, they may talk away like so many cockatoos. My invention, Sir, is-a Pocketloquist, a little ingenious morsel of mechanism, which possesses such wonderful powers and

F

you

capabilities that it will actually speak for half an hour at a time without stopping, that is, if properly wound up, just the same as a barrel organ plays a variety of tunes. It is so small, that a gentleman may carry it conveniently in his pocket, or conceal it in his handkerchief, and is of so curious a construction that the slightest pressure of the hand will raise or depress its tone, and by a proper fingering it will speak on any side, or to any tune. The use of it may be learnt in half an hour, but the proper manner of applying it to use must be well recollected; for instance, if a young member wishes to speak on the Treasury side, he must put it in the right pocket, if in the Opposition, in the left; if perfectly independent he must not have to do with any pocket at all. You see that with this contrivance gentlemen need not be at the trouble of turning their coats, it is merely done by putting their hands in their pockets. If a candidate wishes to try it at an election, he has nothing to do but to carry the pocketloquist with him to the hustings, and set it to the tune of Liberty, Freedom of the Press, Habeas Corpus, No Taxes, Constitution, &c. when I am certain that my little automaton will carry the poll, and the member may then (as is often the case) truly say, that it was all out of his own pocket.

"Another great advantage of the pocketloquist is, that owing to a judicious combination of the words, the speeches will not appear at all studied, and may be fashioned after any stile, the simple, the florid, or the obscure.